Stressed and depressed

STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS 7x10 | The Phantom Apprentice

Hey uh. Something about the religious trauma themes in Nimona. the "it goes against the word of Gloreth". The ancient scrolls used as justification for murder and destruction of everything different to yourselves, when the tale of Gloreth has been changed and corrupted so much over time that it has changed the complexity of what truly happened/ is no longer relevant or useful. The visual similarities between the swords of the knights and the crucifix. Used to injure and maim the 'villain', who is actually the misunderstood and shunned hero who will come back and save the sinners who shunned them. Ballister telling the director that she can have the sword, he's not interested in crucifying, dropping the sword again when he finally sees and accepts Nimona at the end of the film. ANYWAY

My favorite part of Nimona's narrative queerness is the dichotomy of the trans experience and the cis gay experience explored in Nimona and Ballister's relationship. They're both queer people villains, but Nimona's villainy is seen as more innate, while Ballister's is something he can escape. Nimona is trans a "monster," but he is just a victim of circumstances who can reclaim a powerful position. Nimona goes to him as a fellow queer person villain, but finds that Ballister has just as many judgements to unpack and insensitive questions to ask as other people, though he is more willing to do the work. I saw so much of the community dynamics of trans and cis people in queer spaces in this. Outsiders think we're exactly the same, but internally many cis people either don't care for uniquely trans struggles or want to distance themselves from us completely.

Nimona hits different when you realize that it's never stated if there ARE actually any other 'monsters' like Nimona, in fact, the opposite is implied.

The movie seems to hint that, well, Nimona is the only one, which- holy fuck, that means every commercial about killing monsters, every campaign against them, every single lie the history books have turned into truth...

It's all just in reference to her.

this line fucking hit. but it's true.

queer people for years, centuries, have been oppressed for being their most authentic selves, by the people who call themselves heroes and us the monsters, even nowadays with the most recent law for allowing discrimination against queer people in America. They call themselves the good guys, the saviours, the ones completely in the right and justified for hating against people just trying to live their lives. And apparently we're supposed to be the bad guys in this story.

i'm so glad that this movie came out when it did, the world really needs it.

nimona doodle from memory (kinda)

Also my favorite nimona detail is how they gave her cat-like reflective eyes and u can see the eeriness of them when Ambrossious and the Director realize she isn’t human

The thing about Nimona (the movie) is, as you begin to watch, you think the knights have been fighting off monsters, like, regularly. That if not the last few generations, than at least a 200, 400 years ago, right? They've built the wall and they've made the Mega Destructive Canons, and an 1000 years worth of (possibly a tad inbred) Knights trained to fight monsters, and you think, well, they must have USED them

And as the movie goes on you realise, people haven't just never seen a monster in recent memory, the Kingdom has never seen a monster At All.

Gloreth was a child, she turned on her friend because her parents told her to. Nimona left after Gloreth turned her sword on her. She "defeated" the monster.

Gloreth's home was destroyed by the foolishness and hatred of the adults around her, but she was raised to believe it was her friend's doing. Her memory of the event was probably twisted by this narrative, until she remembered it as the little girl turning into a fire breathing monster (Nimona never actually turns into anything that looks like that dragon image in the scroll)

Then, raised to believe she'd been the hero, told over and over again that her positive memories of Nimona were lies, Gloreth grew up hating "monsters"

But she never actually fought them. Her knights never fought them.

No one did.

Because the monsters never existed

EVERYONE GO WATCH NIMONA NOW !!

Okay I don't think this is super spoilery, but man, that scene where Ambrosius goes into a meltdown rant about everything that's gone fucked up only for it to smash back that this is all in his head and outwardly he looks totally dead inside?

Relatable. As. Fuck.

God knows how many times I've been the exact same way with people who are like "Why don't you ever tell me what's wrong?" because they're the reason I keep quiet.

what’s fucked up is the well was still there

it’s been 1000 years, a whole technologically advanced kingdom built up around it - the story so mythologised and exaggerated that the well itself only has significance to Nimona at this point, yet as dilapidated as it was, it hadn’t been covered up or replaced, just left to rot at the heart of it all

in terms of symbolism, in that moment to Nimona it represents that in 1000 years nothing has changed

Thought I should share nice detail in Nimona my friend pointed out during our watch session yesterday.

(1:04:02)

when people complain about “too much gender-fluid/non-binary/trans rep is with shape shifters” I counter with: every gender-fluid/non-binary/trans person WANTS TO BE A SHAPE SHIFTER

Releasing Nimona on the last day of pride month 2023 was such a great move because it’s a really needed piece of media right now. Lots of countries that legalised gay marriage years ago have been grappling with this rising TERF narrative of “if you’re gay it’s whatever but if you’re trans, non-binary or gender non-conforming in some way you’re a PERVERT! A MONSTER trying to GROOM CHILDREN!” The outrage against simple things like pronouns and drag events, and the movement against gender affirming healthcare have reached a terrifying peaks for contemporary times.

So a kid’s movie set in a fictional country with controlling government officials with personal agendas, with an openly gay couple but also a shape-shifting kid who cannot even be afford to be out is our reality in the US today. Nimona’s feelings about her vibe, body and form, her insistence that she is only “Nimona” no matter what she looks like and her aversion to “small-minded questions” together forms such a beautiful allegory about trans, genderfluid individuals.

Ballister asks her to be a girl, but for whose sake? It’s only for the comfort of people who refuse to understand her, and would rather see her die than let her be herself. And it’s this widespread rejection and loneliness that has eventually made Nimona indifferent to pain, that makes her feel suicidal.

In the end, it is another member of the LGBTQ+ community that truly sees and accepts Nimona for who she is. And that should be a reminder that we cannot let them divide us. Trans people stood up for the rest of us and made historical change happen, and we need to do the same for them. Besides, cis queer people are only the “good ones” until they’re done with trans people and then will turn on us.

ballister: exists

ambrosius: hiiiiii i love you

Nimona was so GREAT!!! I'm so glad they were able to finish this film. IT'S SO GOOD!!!