Take me to Hogwarts!

man oh my god i just remembered my final final exam of high school, my 7th period exam for senior year, held in the auditorium with 2 other classes and like 8 total teachers watching, a guy i was on kinda good terms with asked if id let him cheat off my exam, and i was completely unable to say no to ppl so i was like "of course clifton baby i got u" but i was VERY UNCOMFORTABLE with cheating on exams so i "got up to pee" and our teacher escorted me to the bathrooms and i was like "jack buddy listen, clifton asked me to let him cheat and i said okay but i dont wanna so can u just hover near us so he doesnt get a chance to peek?" and he was like "vicky are u dumb" and i was like "yes" so he stuck near us and after the exam ended i caught clifton after school and was like "omg im so sorry! i can't believe he just hovered around us the whole time! how unfair!" and clifton was like "omg i know! dont feel bad girl its not your fault" but like girl............ it was my fault............. im sorry clifton..............

Bro your vibes are epic. Hold my hand

DOJA CAT ━ Via instagram (October 21, 2021)

this is so fucking funny

just raven baxter being queen

adding “if that makes sense” to the end of the most batshit crazy sentence ever formed

favourite outfits

↳ taylor swift (speak now world tour)

The guy behind the counter at the post office was just like, "can I getcha anything else? Stamps? Pint of blood?" And the ten seconds it took me to remember my mask has vampire teeth printed on it was the longest most bewildering moment of my year so far

Me, bewildered and delighted: they sell blood at the post office now?

(via livejamie)

date of origin: 29th of december, 2008.

Good morning to Banana the Lobster, and only Banana.

For a second I was really concerned that the lobster was transphobic before realizing the link is from the daily mail

i found out that baby carrots are a big fat lie. They are just shaved down from the ugly ones that won’t sell

Baby carrots were originally one farmer’s ploy to sell more carrots. The late Mike Yurosek, a California carrot farmer, invented baby carrots in 1986 because most full-grown carrots were too ugly to sell. (x)