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xi-fan

@xi-fan / xi-fan.tumblr.com

hi im mikki i just reblog whatever, occasionally nsfw // about
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pastxlscorp

could he make it any more obvious

praying there’s a minority of pokemon fans within my followers

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reblogged

Inktober day 1: Wheel

I wanted to dedicate this prompt to Ferriswheelshipping, one of my faves

Leave a heart if you ship N and Hilda too :3

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bgm05

wow players having to stand in lines for a quest because a relevant npc can only talk to one player at a time. is the funniest image on the planet

i need to correct this: wow classic doesn’t have any npcs that can only talk to one player at a time. these lines actually formed for a quest npc that players had to kill to complete the objective. knowing that i think this image is even funnier.

Literally this

My favourite is the guy saying, “This is like being at the dmv”

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thanook

CLICK THE FIRST POST

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why do we have butt cheeks i dont understand why did we evolve this way

what use do butt cheeks have 

oh my god I HAVE THIS KNOWLEDGE

fun fact: butt-cheeks are one of the things that make us superior to other animals okay note that other apes do not have butt-cheeks

okay don’t quote me on this because I only did sixthform-bio and I’m sure of forgotten loads of stuff but here’s the down-low

back when we were evolving from ape to human, one of the most important things that happened was when our spine started meeting our brains at a sort of 90 degree angle instead of like 45 degrees, which meant that we could straighten up and walk on two legs which was a pretty rad development

except alas oh no our muscles weren’t built to allow us to walk around on two legs because that requires a sort of twisty motion of your hips as opposed to whatever the fuck it is everything else does AND SO ape-people started evolving with longer, narrower waists so that our bodies could twist with every footstep and we could strut along the fashionable catwalk that is neanderthal evolution

but then once this had happened, people realised that we had an advantage over other animals and we would be better at chasing and killing them but we weren’t very good at running

so that’s when we developed the glutenus maximus which is a really badass-sounding name for the muscle in your derriere which helps us to support our spine in an upright position so we don’t get tired, and helps the legs to rotate nicely so that we can run, and has a nice big fat storage around it to help us get energy so that we can run

and that, basically, is the butt-cheek

tl;dr - butt-cheeks were the result of thousands of years of natural selection so that we could run fast and slaughter things

thank you so much for such a fabulous, informative and detailed explanation on the evolution of the butt

i feel enlightened and empowered to know my butt is for such a worthwhile purpose, so thank you 

i love this butt science post so much

Also for squeezing

fun fact: that fat on the cheeks? Incredibly useful source of energy to that muscle during endurance exertion, when glycogen is more or less depleted; carries the advantage of being right there and also serving to pad the important muscles in case of injury and provide a comfortable cushion on which to sit. Fat pads do things, and while we’re most used to thinking of individual fat pads in terms of their structural uses, often they function by providing easy sources of local power for sustained use.

Humans actually have quite a lot of intramuscular fat relative to some other species–I’m used to mice, which don’t bother, for example; neither do rabbits, which are so infamously lean that dining too heavily on them can be bad for human health. Of course, neither species relies much on endurance. Fast twitch muscles, which are good for sprinting and darting, tend to be powered by glycogen availability even within species; by contrast, slow twitch and highly oxidative muscles that are used over sustained exercise are generally powered by intramuscular fat.

(I am reading an interesting thesis tonight that also notes that relative to horses, dogs have more intramuscular fat in hindquarter muscles–exactly what you would expect to see in the context of intramuscular fat as a local fuel for endurance running, since dogs are–like humans–adapted for long distance persistence hunting.)

Next time you slap that jiggly ass, stop and reflect on how important and useful ALL its components are! In a very real sense, humanity’s ass defines us nearly as strongly as our heads.

So what I’m hearing is that having a dump truck ass is literally Evolutionarily Advantageous. Even great-great-great-grandma Ungalug back in the Pleistocene woulda been hunting for a slice of that Cake. Help I’m a Miocene megafauna trying to escape predation but these Hominid ass-cheeks are dummy thick and the resonant clapping of their fatty pads keep driving them onwards beyond the limits of my exhaustion

This is the ass of a killer, Bella.

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adorkastock

Check out my evolutionary advantage.

🍑✨

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As a kid, when your parents are poor, you're poor. If they don't have money, that means none of you have money. But if someone's parents are rich, that doesn't necessarily mean the kid is. Sometimes rich peoples' kids aren't rich kids, they're just some rich freak's exotic pets that can talk but aren't allowed to.

That’s… not how class works

OK, so- my partner was adopted by a rich woman when he was a baby. She's from a prominent family, practically royalty where we're from. She certainly had the means to send him to fancy private school, give him good food, nice clothes/toys, premium healthcare... she chose not to. According to her he was lucky to be "adopted out of poverty" at all and should have been content with what she deigned to give him. And she reminded him of this constantly, all through his childhood.

She dangled the promise of uni in exchange for good behavior and good grades- with terms and conditions, of course. And filling her laundry list of demands was something like pulling teeth whilst jumping through hoops. In the end, did he get to go to uni? Of course not. (And certainly being queer/trans on top of it all did not help things whatsoever).

He cut her off after high school, and when I met him a year ago he had been working as (the equivalent of) an UberEats driver for a living for the last few years, including through the pandemic. (Sixteen hours a day for the equivalent of $6 (six) USD, not including the gas for his shitty rundown scooter; caught COVID twice, suffers from chronic fatigue to this day).

And to this day he still has to be selective about which of our ~leftist anarcho-commie~ friends he divulges this part of his background to- cos all they hear is "raised rich" and then suddenly he's not One of Them because "well teeeeechncially :^) you're from the oppressing class...". Like.... shit, man!

Social rules don't mean shit when it comes to abusive parents. Even rich ones.

Probably especially rich ones.

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roach-works

people are totally on board with the concept of "sufficiently rich people are above the law, and this is bad" but refuse to connect that to the concept of "this also includes laws that protect children from abuse and exploitation"

like we understand "the ruling classes get and maintain their wealth through cruel exploitation of those less powerful" and we can't wrap our heads around "a lifetime of this cruel and merciless behavior being valorized by your peers probably doesn't predispose you to suddenly changing gears once you have a helplessly dependent child that's totally under your control."

like yeah the rich are our enemies in this ongoing class war, absolutely, it's an Us or Them situation to save the planet. but if you don't give a shit about saving the enemy's children too, i don't think very highly of your motivation or your methods.

If (what's left of) the fuckin' middle class can hold financial stability and basic safety over their kids' heads in "exchange" for fealty, and cut them off and throw them out for insufficient subservience (like daring to be queer/trans/wrong-religion/wrong-political-stance), what in the EVERLOVING FUCK makes you think the rich won't and haven't on a regular basis?

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tlirsgender

Do you think hauntings can go both ways. Like, if a ghost is a dead person who can't move on, what is an alive person who can't let go of someone dead? Grief as a form of haunting. Dragging the memory of a corpse with you because it's all that's left of them. Seeing them out of the corner of your eye sometimes. You know. It pairs nicely with obsession of revenge

[ID: a tag from @ashyslashyy that reads, "#someone not being able to pass on not because they have unfinished business but because you wont let them" /end ID]

Exactly

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thededfa

my 8 year old has some emotional regulation difficulties, and I've done my best to help him with those.

unrelated, I gave him a shovel a couple of days ago and told him to go have fun in the field because I was tired.

He suddenly seemed happier, having less trouble breathing through disappointment and just being generally all around more cheerful and able to focus in school better. Sure, my partner had to pull him out of a six foot by three foot hole today, but he was stoked about it!

Marked places in the yard where I needed holes and he happily dug them and helped me plant trees, then helped me turn the compost pile and dig the garden beds. He is happy, my back isn't killing me, and we have discussed erosion and soil quality with the gravitas of an 8 year old discovering something they enjoy

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brosef

Congrats on your future landscaper. Make sure he catches you reading books that will take him up a good path to a rewarding career.

Or gravedigger. Boy might just be in it for the holes.

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reblogged

im so so sorry to every artist who's art ive ever reblogged without gushing in the tags. you deserve it im just so tired. ill do better i promise

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aichu-dechu
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s-n-arly

Apparently my favorite picture books as a child were written by queer authors.  This brings me joy.

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