If you are in a desperate need of being clean, please proceed as I suggest:
You will want to take a bath or shower; there are many ways of doing this.
You first take all of your clothing off, than walk feet first into your shower. Then turn on the water to your correct temperature; do not make it too cold or you will get hypothermia- That's not good for you. Then enter the shower and start cleaning yourself with the many products that allow you to do so.
There's Pantine Pro V, Garnier Fructis, Head & Shoulders, L'Oréal (no tears), Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo, Herbal essences to clean your chevelure. Please remember to rinse the suds.
As for your body, you will need soap. I recommend using Olay, Eveeno, Irish Spring, Herbal Essences Body Wash, St. Ives, Swave, Neutrogena, Vaseline, Lush. Again, please rinse the bubbles.
Taking a bath naked at home
Like the previous method, you will first need to take off all of your clothing, then proceed to the nearest bathroom with a bathtub. Fill the the tub halfway with water that is warm to not get hypothermia. You will want to get at least two of the named products that were named previously in the section above to clean your hair and soap if you wish to do so.
If you do not want to cleanse yourself in the half-full tub, splash the water around then mop the floor if any water has left the body of water.
Cleaning yourself outside of home
One of the methods I recommend is just going outside with your clothes on and wait for the rain. If it is currently raining heavily outside of your domain, please proceed by grabbing all of your essentials for cleaning yourself and run outside naked. Pretend that you're taking a shower, but the showerhead is actually the sky. Wash your hair and body as mentioned beforehand.
*EDIT: If you wish to shower or bathe with your clothes on, your are free to do so.
Do yoga breathing techniques or go see a priest willing to clean your innards with the holy trinity or which ever religious force you believe it. The power of Washing Tree compels you! Just in case, I had to say it.
Unfortunately, I'm just a tree. You wished imperatively that I should clean you; I do not respond to commands, but to wishes.
I can, on the other hand, wash you in a rather barbaric way, if only you allow yourself to think "Being cleaned by a washing machine is going to be fun!"
As I am demonstrating in Gary's Mod, I am clearly not made for cleaning people in a traditional way. I'm not a bathtub. The contraption attached to my trunk is a laundry machine, a machine constructed to wash clothing, not people.
I highly recommend you clean yourself at home or outside. I prefer outside because I'm a tree.
