A Sick Mind is Capable of Anything

It was always worth going out of her way when Joker was that enthusiastically grateful for their fun. Even if it nearly meant possible concussions or broken windows from flying bakeware. Mixing more crust dough, Juliet counted what was rolled and how much more was needed. This was going to take some juggling. Preferably not mentioned aloud lest J try that. “What district is in need of a good pie in the face?”

"Mmm."  The Palisades were always a possibility, but the police response times there were just so quick.  Corrosive pies in a place like the Narrows were just a little too, well, not expected, exactly, but obvious.  She bit at her lip as she ran through the options.  "Uh, what's the latest district the political types have set their sights on?"  That always happened around election time: some neighborhood would become the focus of attempts to clean things up.  Things like chemical pie filling.

She smirked mischievously. “Wanna go blow something up?” 

"Well, yeah."  The Joker patted at her pockets, a slight frown creasing her features.  "I don't have any, uh, any explodey stuff, though."

"Perhaps someone else should pick the movie."

"Like who?  Last time you picked a movie, it involved Care Bears."

She smiled, smoothing her hair back. “Well, that must have been some walk.” She laughed. “How have you been?”

"Good."  The Joker shrugged.  "Bored, I guess."

"And what movie shall it be then?"

"Well, there's Pod People or Puma Man or Hobgoblins or Soul Taker..."

"I think we can do two dozen." Perhaps even two baker’s dozens. If it would make Joker happy, she’d find a way to make it happen.  

The Joker made a loud, ecstatic yelp of a sound, rocking on her heels.  "Yes yes yes thank you you're wonderful."  The rolling pin nearly went flying, but she tightened her grip at the last second.

"Probably more than we will have the time or energy to throw. There’s enough here to make about fifty shallow pies while still maintaining their effectiveness but we do have to account for the fact that the Bat and the GCPD will show up at some point. We could rig a few pies to greet them… but I’d rather not be right there when it happens." Not because she wanted to miss so much fun, but because she didn’t feel like being shot at. Or beaten bloody by Batman. 

"Ah."  Much as the Joker would have loved to throw pies at the Bat, Juliet did have that discretion thing going.  "Uh, then, maybe a dozen?  Is that good?"  It seemed like a nice even number that left room for hilarity without taking too much time and resources.

"I will not be watching this movie."

"It doesn't have to be that movie..."

"I will pass this golden opportunity, but thank you. You should eat however.”

"I'd, uh, I'd be more inclined to eat if someone were around to remind me.  And watch movies with me."

"…I will not be watching this."

"But think of the historical significance!  There's so much historical significance!"

"All the time. Mostly the robins, I think they’re the least bright of the lot." Which made her giggle internally. Maybe that was why the Bat went through so many of them. "She’s a very proficient hunter, and she knows it. Sometimes she kills them just to show off. How many pies do we want to throw around today?"

"Uh."  The answer that immediately came to mind was infinity pies, but she imagined a lack of resources was going to prevent that.  Juliet wasn't Harley; the odds that she'd give up all her money to fund a constant stream of poison pies was low.  "How many do we have enough chemicals for?"

"That does not make any sense." He answered slowly.

"Neither does using a camera that can only record thirty seconds at a time.  With no sound.  But they did!"