Let Loose The Pastry Of War

No one:

Eddie Kaspbrak at any given moment:

(ง •̀_•́)ง

best trope!!!: two characters are undercover at a ball. they’re dressed up all fancy & a waltz starts playing & they dance together but they’re carefully analyzing the room & theorizing under their breaths the entire time. bonus points if they get separated & dance w different partners at some point & then shove through the crowd to get back to dancing w each other. MORE bonus points if one of them is wearing a fluffy dress & the other lifts them into the air

more VERY good points abt this trope

WHY DOES THIS FIT SO WELL LIKE THEIR MOUTHS ARE SYNCING WITH THE SONG PERFECTLY AND THIS HASN’T EVEN BEEN EDITED THE FUCK

So. 10th grade English class. We all come in one morning to find a balloon and a perfectly sharpened pencil on each of our desks. No instructions, no explanation, which is strange, because our teacher is meticulous about that sort of thing. A couple of people try to ask her and she says we’ll get to it. She takes role and then announces that she needs to go to the copy room and she’ll be back in a couple of minutes

Kinda unorthodox, but no one is complaining because this is advanced English and the teacher usually goes kinda hard. So, y’know. Brief respite. We all sit and chat; one of the boys teasingly steals a girl’s balloon, but gives it back to her easily enough; it’s quiet and kind of a nice break. Then the teacher comes back, stops in the doorway, and just stares at us

After a long moment, she says, confused, “You didn’t pop the balloons.”

To which one of the guys about two rows over exclaims, “We’re allowed to pop them?” and immediately turns around and stabs his friend’s balloon with the pencil

There is a vicious revenge balloon-stabbing, and a few more people pop seatmates’ balloons or their own, and the whole time the teacher is just shaking her head. “I can’t believe you didn’t pop your balloons.”

Apparently we were starting Lord of the Flies that day and she wanted to demonstrate the basic concept of kids turning on each other when there are no authority figures present and it was basically my favorite failed social experiment ever

Back in my 10th grade we did a similar things around Lord of the Flies, where we had a test scheduled for that day, and when we walked in, the teacher took role by looking through the window of the door and never entered the classroom. On the board were three tasks written and the teacher had brought in donuts. At first we all sat around and waited for the teacher to come in, but eventually we just started tackling the list of tasks. Task 1- the test. Everybody took it silently, no one cheated, everyone turned it in and we went on to Task Two: tidy up the room. So we did, we split into a couple groups and each one cleaned an area of the room. Task Three: Hand out the donuts. There were 12 donuts, and 30 of us. So we split the donuts into thirds, each took a third, and left the extras for the teacher. After this, the teacher came in absolutely FUMING. She was so upset we had followed all the rules and completed the tasks. Apparently she had been texting kids telling them to start some chaos but they all ignored it because they were too nice. She tried to dock our grades for not going absolutely wild because it meant her class didn’t get the point across

That’s because lord of the flies isn’t representative of humanity it’s representative of rich white male shitheads

Never forget that Golding wrote Lord of the Flies in response to an earlier book called The Coral Island in which a bunch of English schoolboys have a delightfully imperial time bringing civilization to a savage land, and Golding basically said “nah, those privileged shits would wreck the place”

Oh to be, oh to be, oh to be!

Good Omens casting directors: WHAT MAN could ever hope to harness the Chaotic Thot energy of Crowley?!

David Tennant:

when i saw this i couldn’t believe it didn’t have music

I hope to one day exude as much raw energy as this man does.

the god of chaos

What color is his shirt

I LOOKED HIM UP AND YA’LL DONT UNDERSTAND

He is a  fucking bull riding stripper….

Dungeons & Dragons dragons by age category:

0-10 Years: Basically a giant fire-breathing housecat. Has a big ego, but rarely plans beyond the next meal. Distract with something shiny.

10-100 Years: The firepower of a small army paired with the emotional keel of a somewhat sheltered teenager. Has grand ambitions, but makes poor life decisions; has probably fucked a bard.

100-1000 Years: Remember Smaug’s boast? The unabridged version from the book, not the cut-up version from the movie? Yeah, that. Legitimately scary, but not quite as clever as it thinks it is. Decent “final boss” material.

1000+ Years: A shapeshifting world-class sorcerer with superhuman intelligence, unlimited resources, and a lot of time on its hands. Some decide to impersonate gods; most are motivated primarily in terms of “hey, you know what would be hilarious?”. Distract with something shiny.

The people who are feeling called out by this post are either dragons or bardfuckers – I’m not sure which.

We’ve all been Will Byers 

Land Before Time motivates a proper diet 🍃🍃🍃

everyone had a phase as a kid where they wanted to eat random leafs off of trees and land before time is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT responsible for this phenomenon

Both of these responses radiate terrifying energy, but on different wavelengths.

a dnd player waiting for their turn