Porridge

skfkslckcnelcncn okay I’m at work yesterday and my coworker is telling me about her husband and 2 kids and is bitching and I’m like go. off. because that’s what I do and she says to me “the litter box is HIS responsibility and most of the time he doesnt even do that!!” and I immediately say. “That’s all he does??” because girl just told me she took out the trash and did dishes and cared for her fucking children all before coming into work that morning and shes like “…. that’s not ALL he does……..” like. every time I talk to a girl in a bad relationship a part of me dies. you dont have to be his mom too. he’s not the three year old. he’s not a fucking tamagotchi that if you forget to feed him and wipe his ass he dies in a pile of his own shit. ladies if he dies he dies

ladies, if he dies, he dies!

I know everybodys talking about the article but its this tweet itself that makes me lose my shit

tinder link in bio.

the replies:

*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?

The person who first discovered that coconut could be eaten must have experienced depths of hunger many will never know.

They prolly just saw some other animal doin it my man

you mean like the coconut crab, which naturally feeds on coconuts by breaking htem open with large claws? 

Coconut crab: I sneep. I break ze coconut. I eat ze coconut.

Some dude:

K but have y’all seen what coconut crabs look like cause

Jesus Christ

Nudibranchs (sea slugs)

i would do anything to protect these precious natural beings

can’t argue with that

My aunts cat is HUGE

That thing better be paying rent

A spotted San Diego dorid nudibranch peers across a princely pink landscape of crustose coralline algae while on the hunt for a sponge cake to snack on.

has to explain to someone that last night i was laughing myself into tears just googling “baby echidna”

just for the hell of it heres a baby platypus too

I will never not be delighted by the first English description of an opossum:

“An Opassom hath an head like a Swine, and a taile like a Rat, and is of the bignes of a Cat. Under her belly she hath a bagge, wherein she lodgeth, carrieth, and sucketh her young.”

poetry… to my ears..