when u get entertainment in trivia crack

when u get sports

Some effects of dissociation

- gaps in your memory

- finding yourself in a strange place without knowing how you got there

- out-of-body experiences

- loss of feeling in parts of your body

- distorted views of your body

- forgetting important personal information

- being unable to recognise your image in a mirror

- a sense of detachment from your emotions

- the impression of watching a movie of yourself

- feelings of being unreal

- internal voices and dialogue

- feeling detached from the world

- forgetting appointments

- feeling that a customary environment is unfamiliar

- a sense that what is happening is unreal

- forgetting a talent or learned skill

- a sense that people you know are strangers

- a perception of objects changing shape, colour or size

- feeling you don’t know who you are acting like different people, including child-like behaviour

-being unsure of the boundaries between yourself and others

- feeling like a stranger to yourself

- being confused about your sexuality or gender

- feeling like there are different people inside you

- referring to yourself as ‘we’

- being told by others that you have behaved out of character

- finding items in your possession that you don’t remember buying or receiving

- writing in different handwriting

bored? try depersonalization! are your hands attached to your body? who IS that person in the mirror? you’ll never know!

Modern technology is making us anti-social!

It’s almost like people would rather not talk to every random stranger they see in public.

reblog this with something that keeps you from ending everything when you just can’t do it anymore. very much needed right now

Because I refuse to.  I just refuse.  I’m stubborn as hell. :3

“Don’t let the bastards grind you down”

(diagnosed major chronically depressed since age 9.  56 now.  Sometimes the sun shines, and it’s all worth it.)

My husband, who also suffers from very severe depression, is my savior.  Today I can’t seem to stop crying, and he’s unfailingly right there for me with his big, broad shoulders for me to sob on, and strong arms that wrap wonderfully tight around me while I do.  At times like this, he doesn’t try to fix me or offer solutions or even ask what’s wrong.  He just holds me and tells me how much he loves me, and that, regardless of whatever it is that I’m feeling, I’m safe with him.

My kids.

I just… I can’t do it to them. As much as my fucked-up brain tells me sometimes that I’m worthless, useless, unloveable, etc. I will do ANYTHING, even live, because they need me to.

(Yes, I have severe depression and some kind of undiagnosed anxiety disorder. I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal ideations for almost 30 years.)

It’s been a while, and it sounds banal looking back on it, but what got me through high school/the first time through college was, I thought of all the multimedia stuff I knew was coming up that I would miss out on.

Like, I knew Star Trek: Generations was coming out in 1994, so I told myself I would wait until then.

And then I wanted to keep watching Seaquest: DSV to see where it went/how it ended, so I stayed alive for that.

And then I knew Hogfather by Terry Pratchett was being published/scheduled to be released in 1996, so I stayed alive for that.

Etc. etc.

Find what’s important to you, what’s worth staying alive for.

I haven’t felt this way in almost a decade (yay, healing!) but TV marathons really helped me survive my suicidal bit after I came out and was thrown out, and again a few years later. Buffy/Angel/Stargate/BSG… Also reading very long book series, like LOTR or HP…

Multi-media and wanting to know what happens next. TV, book series, comic books, it’s all helped.

Edit: I forgot one! Fanfiction. Fanfiction, both stand alone and series helps a lot.

reblog this with something that keeps you from ending everything when you just can’t do it anymore. very much needed right now

Because I refuse to.  I just refuse.  I’m stubborn as hell. :3

“Don’t let the bastards grind you down”

(diagnosed major chronically depressed since age 9.  56 now.  Sometimes the sun shines, and it’s all worth it.)

My husband, who also suffers from very severe depression, is my savior.  Today I can’t seem to stop crying, and he’s unfailingly right there for me with his big, broad shoulders for me to sob on, and strong arms that wrap wonderfully tight around me while I do.  At times like this, he doesn’t try to fix me or offer solutions or even ask what’s wrong.  He just holds me and tells me how much he loves me, and that, regardless of whatever it is that I’m feeling, I’m safe with him.

My kids.

I just… I can’t do it to them. As much as my fucked-up brain tells me sometimes that I’m worthless, useless, unloveable, etc. I will do ANYTHING, even live, because they need me to.

(Yes, I have severe depression and some kind of undiagnosed anxiety disorder. I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal ideations for almost 30 years.)

It’s been a while, and it sounds banal looking back on it, but what got me through high school/the first time through college was, I thought of all the multimedia stuff I knew was coming up that I would miss out on.

Like, I knew Star Trek: Generations was coming out in 1994, so I told myself I would wait until then.

And then I wanted to keep watching Seaquest: DSV to see where it went/how it ended, so I stayed alive for that.

And then I knew Hogfather by Terry Pratchett was being published/scheduled to be released in 1996, so I stayed alive for that.

Etc. etc.

Find what’s important to you, what’s worth staying alive for.

I haven’t felt this way in almost a decade (yay, healing!) but TV marathons really helped me survive my suicidal bit after I came out and was thrown out, and again a few years later. Buffy/Angel/Stargate/BSG… Also reading very long book series, like LOTR or HP…

I found making reservations for something–anything–very helpful. Dinner, the theatre, a family reunion. Just as long as you had something to look forward to.

My younger sisters. I’m the oldest, so they look up to me. We already lost one sibling. They don’t need to lose another. I just couldn’t put them through that grief again. Even though some days it’s fucking hard to ignore those invasive evil thoughts, I have to. I can not let them down.

Book series and tv series. I need to know if my otps will ever become canon. It sounds silly but it keeps me going. And twenty one pilots has been a huge help. I always look forward to seeing them in concert as much as possible. And their most important message to their fans is to stay alive. I certainly don’t want to disappoint Tyler and Josh. Find something meaningful to you that you can look forward to. It helps.

Thank you

reblog this with something that keeps you from ending everything when you just can’t do it anymore. very much needed right now

Because I refuse to.  I just refuse.  I’m stubborn as hell. :3

“Don’t let the bastards grind you down”

(diagnosed major chronically depressed since age 9.  56 now.  Sometimes the sun shines, and it’s all worth it.)

My husband, who also suffers from very severe depression, is my savior.  Today I can’t seem to stop crying, and he’s unfailingly right there for me with his big, broad shoulders for me to sob on, and strong arms that wrap wonderfully tight around me while I do.  At times like this, he doesn’t try to fix me or offer solutions or even ask what’s wrong.  He just holds me and tells me how much he loves me, and that, regardless of whatever it is that I’m feeling, I’m safe with him.

My kids.

I just… I can’t do it to them. As much as my fucked-up brain tells me sometimes that I’m worthless, useless, unloveable, etc. I will do ANYTHING, even live, because they need me to.

(Yes, I have severe depression and some kind of undiagnosed anxiety disorder. I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal ideations for almost 30 years.)

It’s been a while, and it sounds banal looking back on it, but what got me through high school/the first time through college was, I thought of all the multimedia stuff I knew was coming up that I would miss out on.

Like, I knew Star Trek: Generations was coming out in 1994, so I told myself I would wait until then.

And then I wanted to keep watching Seaquest: DSV to see where it went/how it ended, so I stayed alive for that.

And then I knew Hogfather by Terry Pratchett was being published/scheduled to be released in 1996, so I stayed alive for that.

Etc. etc.

Find what’s important to you, what’s worth staying alive for.

I haven’t felt this way in almost a decade (yay, healing!) but TV marathons really helped me survive my suicidal bit after I came out and was thrown out, and again a few years later. Buffy/Angel/Stargate/BSG… Also reading very long book series, like LOTR or HP…

I found making reservations for something–anything–very helpful. Dinner, the theatre, a family reunion. Just as long as you had something to look forward to.

My younger sisters. I’m the oldest, so they look up to me. We already lost one sibling. They don’t need to lose another. I just couldn’t put them through that grief again. Even though some days it’s fucking hard to ignore those invasive evil thoughts, I have to. I can not let them down.

reblog this with something that keeps you from ending everything when you just can’t do it anymore. very much needed right now

Because I refuse to.  I just refuse.  I’m stubborn as hell. :3

“Don’t let the bastards grind you down”

(diagnosed major chronically depressed since age 9.  56 now.  Sometimes the sun shines, and it’s all worth it.)

My husband, who also suffers from very severe depression, is my savior.  Today I can’t seem to stop crying, and he’s unfailingly right there for me with his big, broad shoulders for me to sob on, and strong arms that wrap wonderfully tight around me while I do.  At times like this, he doesn’t try to fix me or offer solutions or even ask what’s wrong.  He just holds me and tells me how much he loves me, and that, regardless of whatever it is that I’m feeling, I’m safe with him.

My kids.

I just… I can’t do it to them. As much as my fucked-up brain tells me sometimes that I’m worthless, useless, unloveable, etc. I will do ANYTHING, even live, because they need me to.

(Yes, I have severe depression and some kind of undiagnosed anxiety disorder. I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal ideations for almost 30 years.)

It’s been a while, and it sounds banal looking back on it, but what got me through high school/the first time through college was, I thought of all the multimedia stuff I knew was coming up that I would miss out on.

Like, I knew Star Trek: Generations was coming out in 1994, so I told myself I would wait until then.

And then I wanted to keep watching Seaquest: DSV to see where it went/how it ended, so I stayed alive for that.

And then I knew Hogfather by Terry Pratchett was being published/scheduled to be released in 1996, so I stayed alive for that.

Etc. etc.

Find what’s important to you, what’s worth staying alive for.

I haven’t felt this way in almost a decade (yay, healing!) but TV marathons really helped me survive my suicidal bit after I came out and was thrown out, and again a few years later. Buffy/Angel/Stargate/BSG… Also reading very long book series, like LOTR or HP…

I found making reservations for something–anything–very helpful. Dinner, the theatre, a family reunion. Just as long as you had something to look forward to.

me @ the concept of living my life: i’ll wait in the car

Can we stop comparing Bucky’s trauma to Tony’s trauma? Aside from it being grotesquely ableist, it also feeds into this idea that when someone doesn’t experience trauma a certain way or “don’t have it as bad”, they are undeserving of sympathy, that their trauma is less important.

I love Tony Stark (see my URL) and I love Bucky Barnes, but if you’re validating one while invalidating the other, you are being gross. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Trauma is not a competition. Grief is not a competition. Every person processes emotions differently. Stop invalidating people’s pain.

The posts I see where people say Bucky has had it worse…too many. It’s upsetting. Aside from personal reasons why I find this upsetting, Tony’s and Bucky’s individual trauma should never be compared, especially if one is being validated and the other brushed aside and deemed not as important. So yes, I’d wish people would stop invalidating others pain.

reblog this with something that keeps you from ending everything when you just can’t do it anymore. very much needed right now

Because I refuse to.  I just refuse.  I’m stubborn as hell. :3

“Don’t let the bastards grind you down”

(diagnosed major chronically depressed since age 9.  56 now.  Sometimes the sun shines, and it’s all worth it.)

My husband, who also suffers from very severe depression, is my savior.  Today I can’t seem to stop crying, and he’s unfailingly right there for me with his big, broad shoulders for me to sob on, and strong arms that wrap wonderfully tight around me while I do.  At times like this, he doesn’t try to fix me or offer solutions or even ask what’s wrong.  He just holds me and tells me how much he loves me, and that, regardless of whatever it is that I’m feeling, I’m safe with him.

My kids.

I just… I can’t do it to them. As much as my fucked-up brain tells me sometimes that I’m worthless, useless, unloveable, etc. I will do ANYTHING, even live, because they need me to.

(Yes, I have severe depression and some kind of undiagnosed anxiety disorder. I’ve struggled with depression and suicidal ideations for almost 30 years.)

For whatever reason, no matter what has been done to me, or I have done to myself. No matter how crowded my head gets, or how heavy my heart; when things are at their worst and the pain is crushing me there is always this voice. It’s louder and different and it’s not one I recall ever hearing (unlike the others). 

It tells me I’m here for a reason, that I’m not done yet and that this all won’t last. All I have to do is keep breathing. For whatever reason that voice, that one keeps me going. I believe it, above everything else.

I’ve thought that killing myself was the right answer…

Actually… the real reason I haven’t killed myself is basically because I’m afraid of the afterlife

So I’m in a constant state of suffering and fear with now way out.

In short words, I’m in hell, and I’m dead inside.

Tumblr. Just talking to people really helped.

The future looks so much brighter. I want to see my friends over the weekend. I want to see the final Avengers Movie. I want to go back to college for my Masters. I want to Start my own business. One day at a time I hope to get it all done.