always tired

Tf happened to Go-Gurt

Would I rather be laying with you listening to you tell me sweet things and asking if I got home okay? Yes but I know it wouldn't be sincere and I know it'd only make me hurt more after thinking about all you've done, so no, maybe someone else isn't so bad. Apparently you didn't think so either

I have followed like 50 blogs without rly looking at them and I don't care yay for variety amirite

Excuse my emotional breakdowns, idk what happened lol

When ur stressed as literal fuck but ya bf and all your friends suck and are way too focused on themselves and the people they say they don't care about to even notice lmao

I thought relationships were about building each other up and helping each other grow but it’s feels like I’m always putting you back together and having to hold you up. I’m always helping you hold it together or help you with some existential crisis you’re constantly having and you’re not getting better, this is a constant and reoccurring thing that’s becoming more frequent and I can’t keep doing this. I can’t relax for even a second or have problems of my own because you always make it about you. Even if you do something shitty you turn it around and say things like “yeah well you do this and this and what you said really hurt my feelings” then get upset when I don’t apologize and act like a victim I’m constantly abusing. Like you’re the only one who has to put in effort to love the other. Like you’re the only one allowed to have bad days. Fuck, sometimes I feel like I need to completely break down to keep my sanity but I fucking can’t because it’ll upset you and also because honestly I can’t trust you and that fucking hurts. It hurts to know the only person I really have left (with your help, of course) I can’t actually rely on anymore. I thought you of all people would understand how hard things are for me, but you don’t. You think you’re the only one struggling but you have no idea. You have no idea how it feels to have everyone depend on you, constantly having to do things despite how you feel and putting your feelings and YOUR LIFE to the side for them, to make everyone think that you’re getting better and you’re holding it all together for their sake, to not be able to talk to anyone about it because it’s too fucking hard, no you wouldn’t because you constantly bring it up especially when things aren’t going your way or if we’re fighting. You mentioned “not having closure” with certain people when I asked why you still concerned yourself with them and it’s funny because it makes me think of the other day when Jill and Dad were talking about that creepy guy who posted the status wondering about an ex girlfriend he had forever ago pretty much fantasizing about her even though his WIFE was his friend on Facebook. I’m scared and I’m tired, scared to have problems, scared because you lie, you refuse to just be honest with me and tired of everything, because of everything you say and how manipulative you can be without even realizing it. You knew how I was before you and it’s like you took advantage of that. Am I really what you want or was I the best option at the time because I picked you when no one else did? Because you’re far more concerned with yourself and how everyone else (even the people you say you don’t care about) thinks of you than how you treat me or how i think of you

I miss being with someone who took pictures of me all the time because they adored me no mattered what I did, someone who just enjoyed me so much they wanted to capture every moment they could