!

a conversation with god.

“You seem like a cool guy”

😂😭😭😭😭 This was a masterpiece

the ghosts were always my favorite

Oh

my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she’s really fat and doesn’t know when she’s full so she never stops eating. usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet. but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn’t losing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter. so I called the vet pissed and i’m just like the fuck she’s still getting fat. so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn’t work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like I God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocent mind) well y'all ready here’s the fucking climax - the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin. with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I’m in class and then pretends like she’s hungry when I get home. and you know what’s the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she’s fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet in the morning and explain to him how I, a well educated adult in college, got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat

“if trump loses will clinton really be any better?” YES. yes holy shit why is this even a question yes she will fucking be better!!!! have you read her policy!!!! have you paid attention to what she’s saying!! you may not like her but she wants women to have access to abortion, she wants gun control, she doesn’t want to overturn same-sex marriage. she doesn’t want to ban muslims from immigrating to the country. like the amount of hatred for hillary clinton is honestly insane when your other option is donald trump

I wonder if her policies include defending rapists in court then bragging about it afterwards? Maybe even continuing to reveal locations of our spies and getting more of our troops killed like in Benghazi? Yeah, this election is fucked. But Hillary is a traitor to the United States and shouldn't even be allowed to run for President.

Opinions are fun

What if Mike was short for Micycle

every now and then theres a text post that gets stuck in my damn head. here it is. im never going to be free of micycle

Omfg

i used to work at Denny’s and honestly i served the weirdest people like this one time these two really stoned guys came in and when they were ordering their drinks the one guy was like “i would like a coke with exactly 6 ice cubes” and i actually counted out 6 and brought him his drink and when he saw that there was actually exactly 6 ice cubes he just stared at me for an uncomfortably long time and also he tipped me 20 dollars

the way japanese video game characters move drives me nuts

young man, the groomsbride is a whore i said young man, please close the goddamn door

Putin “taking notes” during Obama’s speech.

If obama was speaking I’d do the same thing

While it’s very possible he’s doodling, let us not forget that Russian Cursive apparently looks like this:

So it is very possible he just has messy handwriting (look at how he’s holding the pen) and is in fact taking notes.

Or he could just be doodling.

I’ve never seen Russian cursive and now I can’t stop laughing. 

This kind of thing is why cursive is a horrible idea.

Russian doctors notes written in cursive. Pretty sure Putin is actually taking notes.

My eyes….

i guess their writing looks like they were rushin

STOP

But what about the straight line of doodles down the right side? Correct me if I'm wrong, but that backs the doodle theory in my opinion lol

I don’t know what this is all I know is that I can’t stop thinking about it

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These two look like they came straight from the Super GT series in Japan. Wow.

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