i've got no strings on me

If you ever think I’m failing the people, you won’t conspire behind my back. You’ll look me in the eye as you have done today and you’ll tell me how I’m failing them.

Okay so I found my dead grandfather’s journal from 56 years ago. This is some old stuff, okay, and I was like yeah I’m gonna read a page or two. 

Basically he wrote down this road trip he did with a friend of his (name is Giulio) but at some point it gets so weird.

I’ll try my best to translate it from italian to english (english is not my first language) and well, I’m also having a hard time trying to read my gandpa’s writing cause he wrote like a drunk snail.

Now, beware, my grandfather was an italian man dedicated to work, church, work and work, who believed in the traditional family and all that Jazz. But at some point I reach this part where he writes: “yesterday me and Giulio slept in the same tent as mine was stolen at the gas station. As it was really cold, we slept close. In the middle of the night I realized that the warmth next to me did not belong to my Nadia (his fiancé at the time, my grandmother). It was the most intense feeling I’ve ever felt”.

And I was like allright that’s some weird no homo bullshit but who cares.

BUT THEN IT JUST GETS WORSE.

“I was having a cigarette whilst Giulio was asleep in the car, having a nap before we hit the road again. In the midst of the smoke of my tobacco, I saw his face and thought that the woman who is going to marry him will be lucky”.

Grandpa, what the hell? 

BUT OH NO IT JUST GETS BETTER.

“We shared a bed. Old motel did not have spare rooms, it was awkward at first. Then I started thinking that the warmth of Giulio’s body is somehow becoming more familiar to me then Nadia’s.”

Now, I have like seventy more pages of this goddamn journal but I am pretty fucking sure my gandfather had the worst crush over his best friend.

Due to popular demand I have translated some highlights cause damn it gets gayer and gayer.

So at one point my grandpa kind of stopped talking about Giulio and I was like (there we go, denial. Been there done that).

Then out of fucking nowhere, date 23 of may 1960, my grandpa writes:

“We finally reached Palermo. It is a beautiful city, full of art and good food, tomorrow we will visit some of the churches. I am now writing in our hotel room, a cheap place that still looks lovely in it’s way. Giulio is taking a shower. The noise of the water is keeping me awake, although I suspect that’s not the only reason I can’t shut my brain down”.

First of all, my grandpa wrote like a fucking professional writer. Second of all… grandpa, you can’t sleep cause your best friend is naked in the shower?

Anyway, they visit Palermo, everything is nice, they hit the road again and tHEN THIS HAPPENS.

“We stopped in a little bar. We ate something, chatted with the bartender and asked him directions for our next stop. We then had a few beers to celebrate our good times. A young girl then sat on the stool next to mine: she told me her name, Enrica, and she was pretty and lovely in her dress. Yet I did not make conversation with her and dismissed her after she made her intentions somewhat obvious. The main reason is, of course,  my devotion and love for my Nadia. The second reason is that Giulio was watching me.”

AND HE JUST SWITHES TOPICS TALKING ABOUT THIS MOTEL THEY FOUND AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE GRANDPA YOU CAN’T JUST STOP THERE CAUSE THIS IS SOUNDING LIKE A GREAT FUCKING FANFICTION. 

My granfather was totally pining after Giulio.

Now, there are like fifteen pages where he doesn’t really say anything about Giulio, he talks about cities they want to visit and that their car broke down in the middle of the street and got some help from, and I quote, “a handsome young man, probably not older than 16″. Like, really grandpa? 

This is the last thing I read.

“I believe Giulio will have my back no matter what happens. He made that much clear.

-What happens after this trip? -he asked me at the reastaurant where we had dinner.

-We go back to our lives, I have my workshop to look after.

-And Nadia. You are going to marry her, I hope.

-Of course. -I answered, as my love for Nadia is strong -Will you be at the wedding?

-If you want me to.

-Of course I do.

-Then I’ll be there. By your side, as usual. That much wont ever change

I am now realising that I’ve never felt such intense feelings for anyone before, because my love for Nadia is strong but yet this is a different emotion. He is my brother, my friend and a half of my heart. That will never end. It almost seems like I am enamoured.”

And he then starts talking about the food of the reastaurant.

MY GRANDPA TOTALLY WENT INTO BRO MODE. I AM DYING INSIDE CAUSE WTF AM I DISCOVERING?!  THIS IS SOME PARABATAI BULLSHIT

I am so going to translate the whole thing and publish it changing the names. 

And the journal it’s not even over.

Okay so I found my dead grandfather’s journal from 56 years ago. This is some old stuff, okay, and I was like yeah I’m gonna read a page or two. 

Basically he wrote down this road trip he did with a friend of his (name is Giulio) but at some point it gets so weird.

I’ll try my best to translate it from italian to english (english is not my first language) and well, I’m also having a hard time trying to read my gandpa’s writing cause he wrote like a drunk snail.

Now, beware, my grandfather was an italian man dedicated to work, church, work and work, who believed in the traditional family and all that Jazz. But at some point I reach this part where he writes: “yesterday me and Giulio slept in the same tent as mine was stolen at the gas station. As it was really cold, we slept close. In the middle of the night I realized that the warmth next to me did not belong to my Nadia (his fiancé at the time, my grandmother). It was the most intense feeling I’ve ever felt”.

And I was like allright that’s some weird no homo bullshit but who cares.

BUT THEN IT JUST GETS WORSE.

“I was having a cigarette whilst Giulio was asleep in the car, having a nap before we hit the road again. In the midst of the smoke of my tobacco, I saw his face and thought that the woman who is going to marry him will be lucky”.

Grandpa, what the hell? 

BUT OH NO IT JUST GETS BETTER.

“We shared a bed. Old motel did not have spare rooms, it was awkward at first. Then I started thinking that the warmth of Giulio’s body is somehow becoming more familiar to me then Nadia’s.”

Now, I have like seventy more pages of this goddamn journal but I am pretty fucking sure my gandfather had the worst crush over his best friend.

Due to popular demand I have translated some highlights cause damn it gets gayer and gayer.

So at one point my grandpa kind of stopped talking about Giulio and I was like (there we go, denial. Been there done that).

Then out of fucking nowhere, date 23 of may 1960, my grandpa writes:

“We finally reached Palermo. It is a beautiful city, full of art and good food, tomorrow we will visit some of the churches. I am now writing in our hotel room, a cheap place that still looks lovely in it’s way. Giulio is taking a shower. The noise of the water is keeping me awake, although I suspect that’s not the only reason I can’t shut my brain down”.

First of all, my grandpa wrote like a fucking professional writer. Second of all… grandpa, you can’t sleep cause your best friend is naked in the shower?

Anyway, they visit Palermo, everything is nice, they hit the road again and tHEN THIS HAPPENS.

“We stopped in a little bar. We ate something, chatted with the bartender and asked him directions for our next stop. We then had a few beers to celebrate our good times. A young girl then sat on the stool next to mine: she told me her name, Enrica, and she was pretty and lovely in her dress. Yet I did not make conversation with her and dismissed her after she made her intentions somewhat obvious. The main reason is, of course,  my devotion and love for my Nadia. The second reason is that Giulio was watching me.”

AND HE JUST SWITHES TOPICS TALKING ABOUT THIS MOTEL THEY FOUND AND FOR FUCK’S SAKE GRANDPA YOU CAN’T JUST STOP THERE CAUSE THIS IS SOUNDING LIKE A GREAT FUCKING FANFICTION. 

My granfather was totally pining after Giulio.

Now, there are like fifteen pages where he doesn’t really say anything about Giulio, he talks about cities they want to visit and that their car broke down in the middle of the street and got some help from, and I quote, “a handsome young man, probably not older than 16″. Like, really grandpa? 

This is the last thing I read.

“I believe Giulio will have my back no matter what happens. He made that much clear.

-What happens after this trip? -he asked me at the reastaurant where we had dinner.

-We go back to our lives, I have my workshop to look after.

-And Nadia. You are going to marry her, I hope.

-Of course. -I answered, as my love for Nadia is strong -Will you be at the wedding?

-If you want me to.

-Of course I do.

-Then I’ll be there. By your side, as usual. That much wont ever change

I am now realising that I’ve never felt such intense feelings for anyone before, because my love for Nadia is strong but yet this is a different emotion. He is my brother, my friend and a half of my heart. That will never end. It almost seems like I am enamoured.”

And he then starts talking about the food of the reastaurant.

MY GRANDPA TOTALLY WENT INTO BRO MODE. I AM DYING INSIDE CAUSE WTF AM I DISCOVERING?!  THIS IS SOME PARABATAI BULLSHIT

I am so going to translate the whole thing and publish it changing the names. 

And the journal it’s not even over.

The Winchester Brothers: Dean

“Oh, you’re straight? So is spaghetti until it gets hot. ;)”

Are you suggesting we boil heterosexuals

#the real gay agenda

I WENT TO MY MUM AND WAS LIKE “MUM, I WANNA BE CALLED DIGBY. DIGBY RADCLIFFE.”

Sometimes I think I have felt everything I’m ever gonna feel. And from here on out, I’m not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt. Her (2013) by Spike Jonze

Daredevil 1.06 - Condemned

The moment you put on the mask you got into cage with animals. Animals don’t stop fighting. Not until one of them is dead.

if a girl!! is nice to you!! because she’s at work!! it does not!! give you permission!! to talk to her for half an hour!! while she is effectively TRAPPED in once place!! and ask personal questions!! and ask about her relationship status!! ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE TEN+ YEARS OLDER THAN HER!! SHE’S WORKING!! IT’S HER FUCKING JOB TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Was that a moan? Do you have somebody in bed with you?

This is possibly the best Parks and Recreation blooper

I AM SCREAMING

college???????? living on my own????????? paying taxes??????

Can you believe our luck? Of all the trees we could’ve hit, he had to get one that hits back.

The Boston Symphony was performing Beethoven’s Ninth. In the piece, there’s a long passage about 20 minutes during which the double basses have nothing to do. Rather than sit around the whole time looking stupid, some bassists decided to sneak offstage and go to the tavern next door for a quick one. After slamming several beers in quick succession (as double bassists are prone to do), one of them looked at his watch. “Hey! We need to get back!”

“No need to panic,” said a fellow bassist. "I thought we might need some extra time, so I tied the last few pages of the conductor’s score together with string. It’ll take him a few minutes to get it untangled.“

A few moments later they staggered back to the concert hall and took their places in the orchestra. About this time, a member of the audience noticed the conductor seemed a bit edgy and said as much to her companion.

“Well, of course,” said her companion. “Don’t you see? It’s the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, and the bassists are loaded.”