@batponybrucemane replied to your post: @batponybrucemane replied to...

Thank you, me, too.

@batponybrucemane replied to your post: @batponybrucemane replied to your post “I feel...

Thanks

@batponybrucemane replied to your post “I feel terrible.”

My friendships dissolved.  My family manipulated and mocked me.  The one I trusted lied to and humiliated me.  I had my last rattie put to sleep.  Post election I’m scared to go outside.  It really looked like things were turning around for a little bit, then it all collapsed.  I feel dirty and empty and alone.  I’m plugging along but it's hard and it doesn't stop.

I feel terrible.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

There’s obviously something.

But I don’t know what it is.

No one will tell me.

No one’s left.

I finally bought a walking foot so I can work with stretchy fabrics without wanting to rip my hair out today. Not like I've been needing one for years and putting it off because they're way too unnecessarily expensive or anything like that.

In case people think I’m joking about what an awkward turtle I am.

At work this morning, as every morning, I made myself a cup of tea and set it on my desk to steep.  When I sat down to start working I was suddenly fed up with the placement of the things on my desk (computer, files, etc.) because it’s been causing me back pain.  I decided to do some rearranging, and in doing so, managed to bump the hot tea, spilling it all over myself and my desk.  Since I got a bit on the front of my sweater I, in my infinite wisdom, pulled my sweater off and used it to mop the desk dry.  It wasn’t until it was thoroughly soaked with ginger tea that I realized that I was now stuck wearing only a pink MLP tee, because all my work clothes are dirty and I wasn’t doing laundry until the weekend.  I went into the bathroom and sort of blotted at the sweater hopelessly with paper towels for a while.  Eventually I gave up and had to decide between soggy ginger-tea-smelling sweater and pink pony tee (my workplace is pretty casual but I want to get a few more months under my belt before I stop needing people to take me seriously.  They already know my nickname and I still would like a raise in a month or two, you know?).  I took a minute to breathe because I was pretty frustrated, and went ahead and put the sweater back on because I would rather reiterate that I’m a klutz rather than explain exactly how big a nerd I am.  Then I went around to a few people because I didn’t want people asking me what was on my clothes and told them my dumb story about my wasted hot tea (I made another cup.  With two teabags and no sugar.  I was really feeling the bitter.) so they would know and not make me repeat myself. -.-

One of my coworkers took pity on me and lent me a sweater of hers she had on her, which was very nice, but it was open at the front so my pink pony shirt was still pretty much perfectly visible for everyone to see.  But I took it, hung my sweater up to dry on the back of my chair, and did my thing as normal. :/  Gave it back at lunch and put my sweater back on, I probably still smelly gingery.