[ outoftablets; i know i come in and out on the blog a lot but i just realized that this blog is actually a year old as of december 26, 2015. i appreciate you guys keeping kah and his sorry blog around for this long <3 here’s to the year to come~ ]
“Ain’t much of a gift… I’d rather get a bag of dog shit fer Christmas than yer sorry ass,” Jed scoffed, crossing his arms and quirking an eyebrow at the pharaoh.
“Positively disgusting. Well, it appears you won’t be getting anything then. Hah!”
“Right.”
“Who are you?”
“You aren’t aware of who I am? Well I suppose I can forgive your ignorance this time, simpleton, but next time I will not be so gracious.”
“I am Kahmunrah! A Great King of the Great Kings! Perhaps one of the finest Pharaohs of Egypt, might I add.”
Have you ever tried not being evil?
“Have you ever trie not being absolutely ridiculous? Being evil is the best option.”
modern au where the parents die and 18 year old Kah takes custody of his three-year old baby brother.
He feels nothing and he is nothing. It’s not fair that they just had to go and die when Kahmun was supposed to be living the careless life! He holds the hand of his little brother, perhaps just a little too tightly, at his parent’s funeral. He tries to ignore Ahkmen when he asks when Mom and Dad will wake up but the kid asks one too many times and Kahmun snaps at the boy. It isn’t until he realizes that Ahkmen is curled on the floor, body pretty much convulsing with sobs that Kahmun takes the boy in his arms and holds him, whispering apologies.
Kahmun suddenly has to grow up and he doesn’t know how to do that. He looks like a single father and people look down at him on the streets of the city but he has to ignore them because he’s got mouths to feed and an apartment to pay for.
One day, Ahkmenrah is threatened to be taken away from Kahmunrah and he doesn’t know what to do because the boy would be so much better off without him and even growing with a new family but Ahkmen is Kah’s only family and he refuses to let go of that.
smol baby ahk climbs into big brother kah's bed because he had a bad dream and only his big brother can keep them away.
He never knows what to do in this kinds of situations because Kahmunrah cannot stand when Ahkmenrah crawls into his bed but when the kid is pretty much sobbing under the sheets, he can’t send him away. (If mostly because his father would yell at him for not consoling his baby brother because Ahk gets whatever he wants–!! Irrelevant.) He feels a little bad for his little brother and remembers the times when he had a bad dream and his father all but told him to get over it. Kahmun would let out a sigh and turn over, making small sounds to let Ahkmen know that he’s there.
Other times, Kahmunrah would tell little Ahk about the places that he’s traveled to until the boy falls back into a peaceful sleep. He would describe everything in full detail–Ahkmen never seemed bothered by his speech issue. He would tell Ahk how he would fight the bad dreams away and that bad dreams were no match for a mighty Pharaoh. He would tell the stories of the stars and listen to the even breaths of the boy and then begin to question himself.
“Of course I do and it’s not that hard of a concept to believe, brother. We may only come alive at night, but it doesn’t mean that we don’t always have to stay in the museum. Now are you going to dress in the clothes I gave you or are you just going to stay inside and sulk?”
“Hmph! Firstly, I do not sulk. Secondly, the clothes you gave me are hideous. Why would people ever want to wear these ridiculous things is beyond me. And where did this rebellious streak develop because as far as I can recall, you were always Mr. ‘Goody- Two-Shoes’ when we were younger.”
“Do you even know what you’re saying right now because I can hardly understand it.”
“Do ya have th’ return receipt?”
“Firstly that is rude. Secondly, you should be grateful that you’re getting anything at all.”
[ outoftablets; im considering a new muse but im not sure if i want to make him but god i have such a muse for him and his name is The Misfit from “A Good Man is Hard to Find” by Flannery O’Conner and holy crap he’s gonna be played by Gary Oldman or Colin Farrell and he’s this fucking suave and manipulative man and i can see him now i might just set up the blog for funsies and see what happens because damn i love that story and his character makes me weak in the knees like no other ]
CHRISTMAS STARTERS
( assorted prompts that are all bedecked with christmas themes. from salty, to ecstatic, to indifferent - feel free to change up the context, pronouns, or words ! )
❛❛ All I want for Christmas is peace & quiet. ❜❜ ❛❛ If mistletoe appears in my one-meter vicinity, I’ll burn it. ❜❜ ❛❛ So - what are you getting me for Christmas? ❜❜ ❛❛ What do you mean, Santa isn’t real? ❜❜ ❛❛ The only thing I like about Christmas is to get drunk on eggnog & wine, & sulk over my year’s regrets. ❜❜ ❛❛ You always give the best presents. ❜❜ ❛❛ Let me get a picture of this for the memories. ❜❜ ❛❛ Christmas party at your house! ❜❜ ❛❛ I swear to god, if you give me a ‘dick-in-a-box’ for Christmas again- ❜❜ ❛❛ It’s snowing! ❜❜ ❛❛ Snow plus sleigh equals fun times. ❜❜ ❛❛ Snow plus sleigh equals broken bones. ❜❜ ❛❛ Please stop saying ‘Christmas is coming’ in Stark’s voice. ❜❜ ❛❛ Are you really setting traps for Santa — ? ❜❜ ❛❛ Don’t eat the cookies & milk I’m leaving on the table, unless your name is Santa. ❜❜ ❛❛ Ah yes, the age-old tradition of an obese old man dressed in a red suit - breaking into your house. ❜❜ ❛❛ Wanna help with the pudding? ❜❜ ❛❛ Help me decorate the Christmas tree. ❜❜ ❛❛ You’re really - enthusiastic - with the decorations. ❜❜ ❛❛ I knitted a sweater for you. Here, wear it. ❜❜ ❛❛ What did you use to knit the sweater? Two left-hands & parental guidance from a hamster? ❜❜ ❛❛ Are you coming to the Christmas party? ❜❜ ❛❛ How did you get tangled in all these fairy lights – ? ❜❜ ❛❛ Let me help with the gift-wrapping. ❜❜ ❛❛ Remember when you caught on fire last year? ❜❜ ❛❛ Oh no - no - you stay away from the alcohol. ❜❜ ❛❛ Stop telling me lies about Santa & his tiny elves. ❜❜ ❛❛ Oh shit, I forgot to buy the presents. ❜❜ ❛❛ Are you telling me you don’t put marshmallows in your hot chocolate? ❜❜ ❛❛ Is this what you do every Christmas? ❜❜ ❛❛ I’m not letting you barricade yourself in your room again for Christmas. ❜❜ ❛❛ Come on! Live a little - find true love - piss in the snow! It’s Christmas. ❜❜ ❛❛ It may be Christmas, but that’s still illegal. ❜❜ ❛❛ Christmas is just another day. What’s the big deal? ❜❜ ❛❛ Christmas should be six months long - not one. ❜❜
Apparently “spite” is not an ‘appropriate answer’ to “What motivates you?”
“You’re very wealthy and I grew up poor and now we’re buying furnishings for our first house together, and will you PLEASE put those back, we DO NOT need $900 bed sheets!” au
“Well–” He really tried to keep the smile off his face, he really did, but the look on his brother’s face was priceless. “It usually means that the person is… not really nice. They even made a movie about this particular trait.”
“If it’s not such a good trait then why do keep snickering? I do not appreciate being mocked, baby brother. I refuse to be even associated with something that is possibly cute.” He paused, “Tell me about this movie.”
“AHKMENRAH!
People are calling me a GRINCH! Tell me exactly what this ridiculous word means!”
Strike me down? I’ll get up again. I am not invincible, but I won’t give up either.