One Tiny Lady

THEY KEEP ASKING ME IF I WOULD DIE FOR THEM AND I KEEP ASKING WHY THEY WANT ME DEAD

job interviews

the worst part about cardio is the laundry

“ancient Greeks exercised naked for spiritual or sexual reasons” no they exercised naked because they didn’t own automatic washing machines

This is galaxy brain thinking

i get cardio carrying the baskets up and downstairs

Is the worst part of cardio the laundry, or is the worst part of laundry the cardio?

@nathanwpyle

I literally love this.

I couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes.

No joke.

This has the same energy as a writer desperately trying to make their insanely cool but devastatingly off the wall plot point work with the rest of the story

Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).

When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".

When the boat is still being built, your say "it".

When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".

When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".

When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.

If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").

If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")

If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").

If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.

If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.

I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.

Growing up near a beach frequented by the elderly makes one more accepting of human bodies in general, I think. And it is gauche to criticize people for things they cannot control about their appearance.

However. Sometimes people do silly things to themselves. Take for example the man I saw at the beach the other day, who was obviously naturally hirsute (ok) and had removed a lot of his body hair (fair) but had done so in such a way that he ended up with a *perfectly* rectangular bathroom-rug-shaped patch of fur on his torso.

Artist's rendition:

like a hair teletubby

...i just really wanted to draw it

I hate waiting for things to stop being popular so i can enjoy them

Can I interest you in not one or two... But THREE things that are no longer popular as they used to for you to enjoy?

Yes tell me the things !!

1. Supernatural

2. Doctor Who

3. Sherlock (BBC)

I despise you and you won't survive when I am in charge in 14 and a half years

You recently moved to the countryside. Your child was playing in the woods, and came back with a large green egg you thought was plastic, so you agreed they could keep it if no one claimed it. Your kid said it was a gift. You thought nothing of it. Then the egg hatched.

Cassowary

This is it. The perfect writing prompt response. We can all go home.

These people went from lifting chips to pulling off some action movie shit

This is the most Chaotic Neutral thing I’ve ever seen.

The teamwork is fucking outstanding.

They earned those chips

the worst part about cardio is the laundry

“ancient Greeks exercised naked for spiritual or sexual reasons” no they exercised naked because they didn’t own automatic washing machines

This is galaxy brain thinking

Prison guards: Iroh? Escape? Ha! That weak, senile old man couldn’t escape if we rolled a red carpet to the door!

Iroh alone in his cell:

I saw the video and thought "that guy looks like Jack Black", then I scrolled down to read that. Yup, sure was Jack Black. Also yes, the above is actually true, his mother Judith Love Cohen did indeed help create the abort-guidance system that rescued the Apollo 13 astronauts.

Wait does this mean people are unfamiliar with this iconic post

top 10 sex positions that will leave naught but ash in your wake

of course that character lives in my brain rent free do i look like a fucking landlord to you?

*places an orange just outside a fairy ring to see what comes out* science is more of an art than a science

*the orange grows legs and skitters away*

Fascinating results *places a banana in the same spot*

*clawed hand reaches out of the ether and drags it into the ring, leaving ragged claw marks in the soil as it disappears, back into the ether from whence it came*

“let’s go to the extreme.” *places a pineapple in the same spot*

Real scientists would keep putting an orange in the same spot to make sure the results are consistent before moving on to other fruits or different spots.

The only valid response to this post.

We’re working up the complexity levels of fruit until we feel there is enough evidence to support the judicious placement of a volunteer twink

You sit down, we haven’t seen what’s happened to the pineapple

#this is tumblr we’ve all seen what’s happened to the pineapple

tags via @sylveondreams

anyone else relate

HE DIDN'T KNOW THE DRINKS HAD SUBTEXT

online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.