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@padfootiee / padfootiee.tumblr.com

Sunny. 26. She/her. Queer. 🏳️‍🌈👽🇨🇦
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I’m sorry but name ONE trope better than “broken people with different kinds of baggage come together and form their own family” there is nothing to top it

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every carry on fan artist worth their salt has done this scene tbh

but in mine they kiss during it bc i’m weak

(zoom 4 dem deets)

edit: this got some awesome responses and is now available as various things on my redbubble store!

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Snowbaz AU Soft Rains Part 1: Agatha’s descent

Snowbaz AU in which Simon works awful hours at the uni library, Baz spends way too much time there, Agatha is Penny’s foreign exchange roommate from California, and Penny is just doing her best as Simon’s guiding conscious.

We’ll get a taste of Baz coming up. I hope you guys like this! If you do then reblog so that others can enjoy as well!! Thank you!

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An electric toothbrush and an escalator are two things that can stop working and still accomplish their original goal.

Ah, wonderful! This post can help me illustrate something I’ve been trying to articulate for awhile: the concept of benign or unintentional abelism.

Escalators and electric toothbrushes are perfect examples of things that many able-bodied people assume exist for their own convenience, and this post is a perfect example of that unconscious assumption.

An escalator that has broken down is still perfectly functional, right? 

Well, sure–if you could have used the stairs to begin with

But for people like me, for whom the escalator was not a convenience but a mobility device, a broken down escalator is not functional. 

An electric toothbrush might seem like something that could be just as easily used turned off as turned on, but for someone with Parkinson’s, or any other number of nerve, coordination, or grip issues, the function of the electric toothbrush is a necessary feature, and without it, the task at hand becomes far more arduous (or even impossible). 

I’m not angry or trying to point out why this post is “bad” or “wrong”–I’m simply trying to point out that people who assume every time or energy-saving invention was created as a means to help able-bodied people be lazier should consider re-examining those assumptions. It might help you become more compassionate toward your disabled friends and family, or at least more aware of the struggles we face daily. 

I’ve had plenty of folks ask for examples of abelism and I am terrible at coming up with them on the spot, so here you go. This is a great one: assuming every modern convenience is only a convenience for everyone, when for some, it is, in fact, a necessity. 

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Thinkin about how as kids parents told us to clean our rooms without having ever shown us how to themselves, taught us any organizational skills, spatial management, or any other knowledge necessary to know how to efficiently tackle a mess without getting overwhelmed and then got exasperated when we as ten year olds didn’t just……figure it out

This is not a dunk on my parents for the record. I had wonderful parents growing up and still have an amazing mom. I think this is just one of those smaller and common things of parenthood that I think addressing would be monumental in reducing a very common household stressor. If parents led their children in cleanups and helped them reason out plans to manage their time and stuff, especially neurodivergent kids, the entire household would be a lot more calm, streamlined, and overall happy I think!!!

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tractorgoth

I’ve got one 7 year old perfectionist (possible ADHD) and one sweet 5 year old hurricane (DEFINITE ADHD) and me (also brain full of cats, despises prolonged supervisory things). Here’s some things I’ve learned specific to that that are also generally good for teaching kids to clean. (Or yourself.)

1. If you want a kid to clean, first you have to teach them to even see mess. They don’t! But it does stress them out.

“Okay, let’s look for something out of its place. If it’s on the floor, it’s out of place. If it’s on your bed and it’s not a blanket, it’s out of place.”

2. Go by category, it’s easier to find stuff to put away if your search engine has a specific target, and it’s more satisfying and efficient to put away a big chunk of mess at once.

“Got something? Ok, are there other things like it? Let’s find all the BOOKS. I will HELP YOU.”

3. Important!! Don’t walk away from a kid with focus issues expecting them to instantly learn a task and finish it! You are setting them up to fail! The first several times you need to be there for the whole process and demonstrate by helping. That motivates them. They feel less panic that you’ll bail and they’ll be stuck alone not knowing what to do next. Narrate what you’re doing, too. Help and supervise less as they seem to need you less.

“I’ll get the books on the floor, can you help me get the ones under your bed? I can’t fit!”

4. In my experience most kids, but especially kids with ADHD would walk to the fucking moon to help you, they just need a clear plan, keep the criticism light, short, and to the point, and ffs PRAISE THEM when they do things right, cause we’ve all (I hope) seen the statistics on how much more negative interaction they get compared to other kids (and rejection sensitive dysphoria is a motherfucker). But more than praise you need to show them how what they did was good for THEM. Do nooooooooot take this opportunity for an ‘I told you so’ or a ‘finally’ or you will suck out all their accomplishment.

“Hey, great job, you found that horse you were missing because you cleaned! And your room looks so nice! It’s really comfortable to play in now, and you did that.”

5. Emphasize it does not have to be perfect or complete to be worth doing. I don’t want to will my kids my paralysis of inaction because I can’t start part of something unless I can do all of it.

“We don’t have time to do the whole room, but let’s pick up the legos before bed so you don’t hurt your feet. And then it’ll already be done tomorrow!”

Other small but important things: make sure everyone is fed and not cranky when you start, including you. Do what YOU need to be in the right patient headspace for this. Put on music. Get coffee. Take breaks! Take dance breaks, tickle breaks, whatever. Make em short, set a timer, keep it consistent. Stop completely if they’re getting overwhelmed or stressed and be prepared to finish another day. They may complain and flop around a lot the first few times. Stay tooth grindingly positive and keep at it, it WILL get better. If you mess up, start again. It’s ok. It’s never too late.

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feministism

Image caption:

Ramps should be the standard.

Automatic doors should be the standard.

Elevators in multi-story buildings should be the standard.

ASL interpreters at events should be the standard.

Braille menus at restaurants should be the standard.

Accessibility should be the standard.

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jimjongjung

Sensory issues aren’t about fear.  They’re causing physical pain.

So I see a lot of people (mostly not actually autistic people) talking about sensory issues in terms of fear.  They’ll say things like “oh, he’s afraid of the vacuum.”  

This, of course, isn’t correct.  It’s not that the person is afraid of the vacuum, it’s that it’s literally causing them pain.  Like, literally.  If you put an autistic person in an FMRI and expose them to one of their sensory issues you’ll see their pain centres light up. 

So, why is this a problem?  Well, most people view fear as something that can be overcome.  So they’ll look down on people that let themselves be controlled by it.  Which isn’t good.  The other thing is that the tried and tested way to overcome fear is through exposure therapy.  However, if the thing is pain and not fear, all you’re going to do is numb yourself from the pain.  Which is generally not the best way to deal with things. 

So, if you’re autistic, remember that your sensory issues are part of how your brain physically works, and you can’t just will yourself out of them.  If you’re not autistic, don’t dismiss people’s sensory issues so flippantly.  Rember it’s literally causing them pain. 

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