To start this day I just want to say … HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EVERYONE’S FAVOURITE DEMIGOD, PERCY JACKSON! 

Thanks for not taking the gift of immortality!

Daughters of Thanos.

Carrie Fisher speaking at Harrison Ford’s AFI Lifetime Achievement Award ceremony

slides in with roombas strapped to both my feet: sup heteros

Theory: great

Reality: they both take off in different directions, fuck

homophobia never sleeps

you have to have rope at a length of like 1 to 2 feet. or maybe a steel bar. something. that connects the roombas and keeps them at an appropriate distance.

finally a good suggestion. roomba bondage

My friends and I often discuss what we’d do if we suddenly became disgusting rich, and the usual stuff is that we’d use our money to fix some human rights issues we’ve been following and to help our loved ones etc. and then generally live a modest life but in a nice house so

I’ve started making my friends also choose one ridiculous thing they’d want to have if they were like absolutely bonkers rich. One of those rich people things that would be reported about in tabloids and it would be so superfluous it would nauseate the masses.

Personally I’d have someone wash my hair and choose my outfit every morning. I truly think the height of luxury is having someone to do ur hair and makeup. My friend would have an owlery.

What would your nauseatingly rich indulgence be

asexual: [reading war and peace] me, wearing only a g-string and a see-through chainmail bra: [smacks war and peace out of their hands] go watch some porn you geek ass bitch

Me, an asexual [and not-so-closeted rabid bibliophile]: What did you just do to my 131 year old piece of classic Russian literature, you pretentious under-dressed swine? No. Never mind. We both know what you did. Now pick up the book and return it to me nicely or else the only people who’ll be having sex with you will be the grave-robbing necrophiliacs who were only lucky enough to find your body.

goddamn

Is this an open or closed role play?

last night one of my campers was like “well i lost one of my shoes in the swamp today” and i said “oh no!” and she shrugged and said “its ok. shoes are just objects” and damn. they really are

today a completely different camper with scratches all over her legs was like “every step hurts me” and i was like “oh that sucks!” and she shrugged and said “well, you know, pain is a temporary emotion”

the next gen have achieved either peak buddhism or peak nihilism

Apollo retells the entire pjo series in haikus

1. a boy named percy: he’s half sea and half dumb luck; the villain is luke.

2. satyr wedding time while stealing clarisse’s quest- now thalia’s back?!

3. annabeth falls off a cliff; they save artemis- alas, not zoe

4. luke is kronos and rachel elizabeth dare sees the shifting maze

5. the end of the world comes faster than they expect- a choice ends his days.

1. Three half-bloods to camp Jason, Leo, and piper; Hera made the switch

2. Find the god of death - The son of water will drown. The Greeks are coming.

3. The adventure starts To rescue the son of hell. Athena has been found.

4. They fall together The house of Hades must end Time is running out.

5. Greeks and Romans fight - Three will take back the statue. Nosebleeds end it all.

The sequel trilogy meets The Clone Wars.

Amazing Disney Lyrics : You’ll Be in My Heart [more] Why can’t they understand the way we feel ? they just can’t trust what they can’t explain…

i know we’re different but deep inside us we’re not that different at all

Do you think about how it must have felt for Stephen Strange, a man who became a doctor to save lives, to watch more than fourteen million futures filled with death? Watching Tony and Peter and the Guardians die on Titan? Perhaps seeing millions of innocents die back on Earth?

Do you think about how painful it must have been? How much more painful it would have been to realize that the one future where there was a chance of survival still entailed so many people dying?

Do you think about how pain is an old friend?

Cause I do.

When someone calls me a nerd for writing/reading

“You started young, right? What is your advice for young people?”

The Lego Batman Movie reads like something Jason and Tim cynically wrote to mock Bruce and Dick’s early days, and that’s the tea.

Headcanon Tim is so tired he loses his train of thought in mid-sentence and it terrifies people

Alternatively-

like this post and I will instantly teleport to your home and gobble up your shower curtain

My shower curtain is glass

well crunchity munchity then, you think that will stop me?