i thought i was going to be okay.
i will be. i just assumed that i was prepared for it.
turns out, i wasn’t. that was foolish to think.
sitting in this moment is quite a depressing adventure.
i have to sit in it. go through what i must.
i can’t lose myself and not grow. that’s not an option.
what i am saying is that i am allowed to feel.
i am allowed to hurt. i am human.
i have work to do. personal. spiritual.
when the time comes and i try again, i’ll be better.
i’ll be more brave.
i’m not upset with myself. i don’t regret.
i appreciate it all.
sadly, it’s just sucks at the moment.
sigh.
today was easier, but then again idk.
are we being honest? am i thinking too much?
what are these emotions?
rhetorical.
oh yeah. i have an update.
disclaimer: it’s not anything gasp worthy.
so, the update isn’t much because i forgot to finish the post. nonetheless, i really feel that my feelings are hurt. there have been a couple thoughts that have crossed my mind and i don’t like it.
i’m doing my best to feel my feelings and not bury them like normal.
i will say it is interesting to see how people (including myself) handle things. thats both good and bad.
oh yeah, i think i may have an appointment with a therapist in the near future. i’ll let you know the update on that. promise.
correction: i ignored myself.
there are a few things that i do regret. from start to current. it’s too late to change. i don’t know what my feeling are but i know they’re hurt. angry. upset. let down.
i really thought i was going to bed fine. i did.
i’m doing my best, but it’s not enough.
sigh.
so, i think i finally closure. even though it wasn’t what i preferred. i got it my own way.
life update: i started therapy and have started taking steps to work on myself and heal.
just to check in.
i’m still taking a break from dating.
i don’t miss the relationship, but i do miss the friendship. we were at least good at that.
i’m loving myself more (again) and enjoying life as i can.
nonetheless, i hope y’all are doing well.
