Person

Exactly something he would do if you ask me 🤷🏾

I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.

-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a

I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.

Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.

He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.

So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.

He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.

Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.

Now that would be a great t-shirt.

@grimthetransman 's little beastie Storm from this post on @catfindr

(send some support their way)

might have made this post a couple years ago but how far back along the evolutionary tree do you have to go before it’s bestiality to have sex with early hominids? I think australopithecus is too far but that’s just an upper bound

actually wait since humans are largely differentiated from our ancestors by neotenous traits maybe it would be pedophilia for an australopithecus to have sex with a human. and bestiality the other way. might have just discovered a new kind of crime

i think everyone in the homo erectus group is close enough to not be bestiality, so australopithecus is exactly the most human-like being for whcih it would still be bestiality. i googled some pictures of homo ergaster and like…yeah thats a dude

Yeah, fucking lucy is definitely bestiality. Australopithecines are just upright apes and don’t share many traits with anatomically modern humans. It’s still a point of contention if we really know that Lucy and her kind were actually our ancestors. Additionally, I HAVE to ask my professors this question now and i can already feel their brain doing backflips to answer

@transhumanoid @transgenderer

My prof finally got back to me, a pretty non answer imo

only on tumblr to people ask questions like “would it be ethical to fuck my primate ancestor from 400,000 years ago?”

The answer is no, mainly because you’re almost defiantly related

the unexpected answer we all ignored: it’s not bestiality, but it is incest

So this post travelled from “is sex with homo habilis bestiality” to “sex with homo heidlebergensis is incest” and I’m now curious as to where it can go next. Presumably “sex with homo sapiens is SIN” which… does seem to be where a lot of tumblr posts go, come to think of it.

I’m not sure if fucking an australopithicus would necessarily be bestiality. I feel like it might be monsterfucking.

Great post everyone

I have some real bad news for anybody here whose criteria for “is it incest if I fuck them” is like “we share any genetic material” because oh boy, well

I heard that modern humans are all, at most, 50th cousins- there was a genetic bottleneck in human history because they think there was a mass extinction event which left only 10,000 of us alive. So, good job, humans.

So what you’re saying is it’s LESS incestuous to fuck an australopithicus than a homo sapiens

Guys, the important consideration is the one we cannot know without a time machine. if you ask an australopithecine if they want to fuck, do they say “Yes” in a language that some kind of universal translator can comprehend? Or do they say “EEEE eee eeee ooo eee?”

If they have language and can and do say yes, it’s monsterfucking. If they don’t, it’s bestiality.

Tumblr: As usual, tackling the important ethical issues of the day.

It’s okay kids, by the standards of the internet you’re all problematic and should be cancelled for having ancestors.

regardless if its incest or not, please only do so if you have specific, sentient, and conscious consent!

can we talk about how AWESOME it is when the light hits nimona's eyes?

It's the same effect you get when you take a flash photo of an animal!!! it is an incredible detail to demonstrate that she is not human !!! I loved it

Nimona (2023) + text posts

Haters be like

“It’s totally possible to make a path that goes through every door exactly once”

Idk if I did it right

sorry!

it’s true you can’t draw one continuous line that would do the trick. but if the kitty and bunny set out by going through the doors they’re marked beside and each walked the certain way their colored arrows show at the same time their “collective path” as a team would go through each door only once. The moral of the story is actually about friendship , and cooperation, because in this world there are tasks you can’t do on your own.

im just fucking with you i’m pretty sure this has no right answer

i concocted a solution with a 100% mortality rate

Stop being so incredibly funny on my impossible puzzle post

You can switch the tracks so the trolley will kill one person, or you can allow it to attempt the fruitless crusade of running over each person in the maze only once.

all in a days work! *passes out*

My indecisive butt, walking in and being faced with having to make a decision, immediately leaving

oOoOoooo I’m a ghost!

Fire

dude my house

What I love about tumblr is when we see a logic problem meant to be frustrating and/or unsolvable, we almost reflexively try to destroy it.

This website’s userbase is a chimp chewing through a Chinese finger trap

I had a dream last night that they made a new Bond movie, but they didn’t say who was playing Bond. Throughout the movie you have no idea which character is really Bond, because he’s undercover, duh. And every single character, no matter how minor, was played by somebody famous, so they could all conceivably be Bond. And at the end it turns out Bond was Leslie Jones.

10/10, greatest spy movie of all time

Sounds amazing actually

It should 100% be illegal for companies to make you give them your payment information when you sign up for a free trial version of their product. It is not necessary and there is no good fucking reason for them to do it. It’s blatantly just so they can steal forgetful customers’ money.

oh hey, thanks for reminding me to cancel a free trial i had going on.

Reblog to save an unnecessary charge cause it also reminded me to cancel a trial lol

okay, but where is, “I’M THE SMARTEST RACCOON I KNOW”

better

Okay good i didn’t want to reblog this without the racoon one

the raccoon one tho

Favorite commercial thing.

These were what I lived to see as a kid. I loved these commercials

HES STILL AROUND, like two days ago I saw a new one where he was a glitch in a smart house’s system keeping the garage door from opening and he was LITERALLY GLITCHING, it was so clever XD

I no longer know how to make gifs so here’s the vid.

the idea that your friends won't like you if you're too weird is wrong for example one time I told a friend whenever I was losing my mind I laid down on the floor under my desk and stared at it until I was better and next time she visited me she taped a bag of salami snacks to the underside of my desk with a message saying "going insane all by yourself, handsome?" which I only saw months later when I had a breakdown. that's friendship.

Este elefante prácticamente tiene una aduana, donde pide tributo para dejar pasar

i am like losing my mind this is so funny

get you a man who can do both

one of my patients came in for an emergency visit, because she snapped the wire on her retainer watching the movie when MBJ took his shirt off she clenched her teeth so fucking hard she snapped it. that is the fucking funniest shit ever to me this tiny 17 year old girl thirsting so goddamn hard she busted steel

Y'all, it gets better. She found out.

We interviewed her, obviously.

update:

Such a developing story.

I love this story

This was a wild ride from start to finish

I know I say this a lot, But this is one of the best things on this website

Sophia is currently doing great in college, and I still get about one kid a month in the office who asked if this really happened.

I found it!! The original post!!