Tumblr used to be so easy, so simple.

"Touch my butt and buy me chicken nuggets"; 40k notes

What happened when did we stray so far from the light of god

(for the purposes of this poll, there is no monkey's paw situation: the chore you pick stays the same level of difficulty/grossness/etc. as it normally is for you, and you only have to do it as often as you want to. the chores you don't pick are magically done for you exactly the way you'd want them to be, just with zero effort on your part.)

god i love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home

Did you eat? (I love you) I bought the bread you like (I love you) I noticed you were upset so I brought you tea (I love you) I made this for you (I love you) I know you have a lot of work and can't talk now so I will leave this thing you like around (I love you) I did your chores (I love you) I will sit by in case you need anything (I love you. I love you. I love you)

Everybody be quiet and listen to his poem

English added by me :)

people who only use conventional social media are so funny bc they’ll casually be like “can I see your tumblr??” are you Insane. this is no instagram or twitter. this is my vault of secrets

literally this

my friend sent this gif in the group chat and its just SO FUNNY TO ME for some reason

this is the gif you unwillingly follow when you’re having a panic attack

you will not guess where this ao3 summary is going

is 30s too late for a career change how to change careers how to become evil sorcerer evil sorcerer salaries evil sorceror indeed dot com

my therapist said I need to see your tits 😯

hysterectomy feels like it would clear up a lot of space for storage. if i get them to yank that sucker out can i put a beer fridge or maybe a ps2 in there

We were correct as children btw it sucks so hard that pokemon aren't real. It's the worst thing ever.

Surely we are forsaken, For what loving God would refuse us the Gift of Typhlosion