The Shining, 1980, dir. Stanley Kubrick.

Illustration by HelloMarine

HELP HER

I’VE WAITED 8734 YEARS FOR THIS GIFSET

IT TOOK ME 11 YEARS TO REALIZE HE WAS SAYING “TABLE FOR HOW MANY"

it takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm but 15 to say “it’s called a clitoris and it’s right here”

#don’t ever fake an orgasm let them know they disappointed you

Gotta do it

I don’t care what news I get I just want this stupid potato dog on my dash

^

Make her pussy wet not her eyes.

Make his dick hard not his life

Break her bed not her heart

play with her boobs not her feelings

Get on his dick not his nerves.

always salt your pasta while boiling it 

Chicken agility course. 🐓 The ending is the best! [via Facebook]

@noodle-dragon

The jump!!!

@farm-lyfe

When your substitute teacher taking their job to seriously  

Always Snape – a free pattern for a pair of fingerless mitts.  Designed by Leonie Thornley in honor and memory of the unforgettable Alan Rickman.

This makes me laugh so hard EVERYTIME

I almost sent this to the chair of my department once.

the last thing a laserpoint dot ever sees