That clapping noise when you hit it from the back is crack 🥴

a productive what now?

like I'm sorry but this is so funny it is causing me to lose my life. "we are all living through a global pandemic, nobody has any money, our democracies are horrifically morally bankrupt and our world is dying. here's how to break down spiritually in a palatable and socially-approved way!"

... I consider myself a pretty emotionally constipated person but jesus christ

"Sorry, I'm afraid I can't have a meeting at 4 today because it conflicts with my crying session"

Reasons why I like tumblr

1. None of my family is on here

2. Barely anyone in my life knows the website even exists.

3. employers won’t ask for my tumblr handle

4. Website doesn’t post a “timeline” with laser-targeted ads about me.

5. Non-algorythmic feed. It lets me read shit in the order it was posted.

6. Can’t see other people’s follower counts. Big and small blogs interact/mix better, no one is idolized.

7. No one, absolutely no one, can manage to make money off us little shits

8. We somehow manage to constantly make Twitter people mad, and somehow people from Instagram idolize us in a way and steal our posts to put on their own page just because they know they are not worthy of making any better post.

9. Gay

anonymously send me

to hell

*finishes a roll of wrapping paper* oh shit free weapon

*bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bonks myself in the head* *bo

*takes wedding photos with a Nintendo DSi*

coming out of my cage and i’ve been doing just

not good

takethisride

my energy is not for consumption I will not let people drain me

buttered bread really is the epitome of goodness & purity

charles is me during the entire wedding scene