The news reported that there have been about 3000 cases of flu reported in our county, and I think they might all be in my MICU right now.

Assessing a patient's mental status today:

oh hello medblr. I've missed you all so much!! I'm two weeks deep into intern year at an academic Internal Medicine program in the Women's Health track and I love it. Been in the ER doing lots and lots of pelvic exams and when I'm not at work I've been playing a lot of Pokémon Go. I know, I know there's a lot of stuff I need to update y'all on and write about and whatnot and I will, eventually. I promise. Also thinking about a slight name change. So excited to be back!!

can I wear these pants to step 2 cs?? they're nice dress pants I wear to work all the time.

whirlwind

The last week has been an absolute blur.

Last Monday, I started my medicine sub-i (my second sub-i since I did one in OBGYN back in March) and put the finishing touches on my personal statement. For whatever reason, it spent a couple weeks just feeling wrong, but then everything fell into place Monday night.

On Wednesday, I finished battling ERAS and stopped trying to chop down my list of Internal Medicine programs (it was a little too long but they were all places I would consider) and just pressed the button. It felt good.

Also on Wednesday, the NBME finally released my Step 2 score, and I absolutely crushed it. Smashed it flat - 260s. It made all of the drama surrounding Step 100% worth it.

Thursday, I spent hours on discharging a younger patient with diabetes because she was going down a path lined with diabetes complications and I wanted to divert her off of it. My intern says I did an excellent job on her discharge.

On Friday, a good friend from the lab I worked at during my post-bacc got married and it was a really fun time even though I didn’t know too many people there.

Today, I got my first two interview invites. The first was at a top top reach school that I partly applied to because I wanted to see if they’d even throw my an interview. The second was from my clinical campus.

I am SO FREAKING EXCITED.

I am also ready to be back here for real again.

life decisions: I see you

After a month back on the floors (two-week electives in cardio consults and the intensive care unit), I’ve grown back into the medical student role and then some. The world feels right and balanced again. I got to take Step 2, finally, but am part of the group that won’t be getting scores ‘til mid-September.

I’ve also decided to go into internal medicine. Definitely going to do a pulmonary/critical care fellowship afterwards. The ICU gives me life. It has the urgency and hands-onness that I loved about surgery and OB/GYN, but all of the thought and diagnosis and differentials of medicine. It is patient-focused. It is a good combination of evidence-based practice and all-hell-is-breaking-loose-let’s-do-this. I truly love it.

And thank you all for your love and welcome backs. It’s nice to be here again.

On the horizon: two weeks each of neuro ICU, emergency medicine, and palliative care. Also finishing up my personal statement and collecting letters of recommendation.

ICU resources

hello all my favorite people! what are your favorite ICU resources? I'm already reading through The ICU Book; I'm talking more about rounding resources and pimping resources. Please and thank you!

Figure 1 is doing another $500 scholarship giveaway. Follow the link to enter! Who doesn't like free money?

it’s been a long time

Medblr, I’ve missed you all quite a lot. I know there’s a bunch that has gone on and I am looking forward to catching up with everyone... including all of the 4th years who are now DOCTORS. Congrats on your matches! Congrats on your first few days of work!

It’s been a long few months since my sub-i.

In that time, I’ve taken off a couple of months to get my shit together, been formally diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and titrated up to almost the highest dose of sertraline. This has let me regain control over my life, my sleep, my home. I don’t worry excessively, I unpacked boxes I’ve been shlepping around for years, and I organized things that have just been in piles because until a couple months ago, it was too overwhelming to deal with it.

With the exception of a two week neurology elective, and a month of a teaching and leadership in medicine elective, I’ve been taking off from medical school since April. Well, I studied for Step 2, but then got sick the night before and had to reschedule (extremely upset about this, because I was so ready for it to be over).

I have also decided not to go into OB/GYN. I really like the field, but it’s just not the right fit for my life. I don’t like the lifestyle at all, and I don’t love the field enough to make up for that. Most importantly, I don’t think I want to go into a surgical field. Surgery can be interesting and fun and I love the crap out of anatomy, but for the most part, I really don’t like being in the OR. I don’t like being tied to the OR schedule at all, and I don’t like the culture of surgical fields, OB or not.

It’s been a really long road with a lot of self-discovery. I’m more than happy to talk about it, but I don’t want to drag this entry on for much longer. So that’s where I’ve been at, and I hope you’re all doing well.