What a legend

free my man santa

— Narcissa Malfoy [probably sipping a martini]

ICYMI: In which a 13-year-old boy comes out to his best friend via text message, and adorable unconditional support ensues. Ain’t nothing wrong with being gay, my friend. (via BuzzFeed) 

what makes it more adorable is he offered to call when he knew something was wrong

I also love how often the word bro was used

This is the proper way to be a bro.

# how to bro 101

Tiffany Haddish for W Magazine

Bonus+

Me when I’m wealthy af.

I ain’t even mad at her

You notice how Trump demolished the food safety laws and now, in the past month, we haven’t been able to eat lettuce, eggs, Tyson chicken, and watermelon because there are huge bacteria outbreaks? 

Interesting… 🤔 🤔 🤔 

lettuce (x)

eggs (x)

chicken (x)

watermelon (x)

and here’s a link to an article talking about the changes trump has made to food safety protections

There are really people going, “So take it up with the companies, don’t expect the government to protect you.”

1) That’s the government’s job. The exact purpose of having a government.

2) That is reactive. Meaning people have to needlessly get sick and die in order for change to happen, instead of just having common sense guidelines in place for prevention of disease spread.

3) It’s REALLY hard to make multi-billion dollar corporations change their ways, without some legal backing.

Even before Trump, America had pretty lax food safety, compared to European standards. And he went ahead and made it worse anyway.

setup and punchline

The artist is luo li rong

The statue doesn’t have big enough titties to have been made by a man.

I know I’ve reblogged this before but the schadenfreude is too delicious.

By the way, the statue is called  La mélodie oubliée (The Forgotten Melody). Luo Li Rong also painted it:

And here she and the statue are in a more formal setting (museum or art show, I can’t tell):

“Dork ass losers”

We’ll love you no matter what, lil’ brother

IM JUST LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW OMFG

Reblog if you actually have made great friendships on tumblr.

PREACH

Let’s be real. If little girls’ knees, shoulders, and clavicles are a problem for male teachers, you don’t have a dress code issue. You have a pedophile issue.

Y. E. S.

The thing that always gets me is how we still frame the idea of trying to be a good caring person as a huge laborious inconvenient inherent sacrifice instead of deeply comforting and rewarding and beneficial to one’s own self and a fundamental human need. Like joke really is on us, the loneliness of modern life is not mysterious. 

when people are like “the hunger games just stole the plot of battle royale” like listen everything steals from the plot of everything the lion king is just furry hamlet westworld is jurassic park but sexier lost is edgy gilligan’s island there are no original stories and the only good piece of media is jennifer’s body

Michael crichton wrote westworld and jurassic park tho so he just pirated himself

michael crichton keeps TRYING to tell y’all about the evils of capitalism impeding on the progress of science when will y’all LISTEN

Maybe he just doesn’t like theme parks

michael crichton in line for a roller coaster at six flags: fuck this

And the roast continues 😂

DWAYNE

I think my least favorite Hetero Trope is when the girl eats a burger or whatever and the dude is like “Wow, I like a girl who can eat” like what the fuck did your last girlfriend do, photosynthesis?

anyway jeff bezos could eradicate homelessness. he could literally give each homeless person 100k and it would only take less than .5% of his entire wealth. what the actual god giving fuck

Why do you think they deserve it

Well shelter is a basic need, and would at the very least allow them a place where they can get back on their feet. Food water and shelter are necessary for a healthy body and psychology. There’s also the fact that they’re people too, and a little help goes a long way in making a decent community. There’s plenty of reasons

Yeah they need stuff, but why does every homeless person deserve 0.5% of someone’s income

You have five hundred apples, and just one day to eat them all. 

You pass by a small crowd of hungry children, and decide you’d rather 455 apples go rotten than give them to some snotty brat who isn’t your problem.

It doesn’t matter how hard you’ve worked for your 500 apples, or that you aren’t the parent of any of those kids. in the moment you decide to walk away, it doesn’t matter why they’re hungry, or who owes who what.

You had the opportunity to help people, you had the ability to help people, you had the resources to help people. You had everything you needed to make a small, tiny little difference in someone’s life, and you decided not to.

What are you going to buy in your lifetime that’s worth more to you than your own humanity?

What are you going to buy in your lifetime that’s worth more to you than your own humanity

Reblogging for the very, very important lesson

Sometimes I wish there were a Hell if only for the visuals of a bunch of rich shit heads wandering around on fire asking “Where’s my money?!”