@tearyourcurtainsdown / tearyourcurtainsdown.tumblr.com
brother, i’m as free as a honeybee
[ID: a drawing of Persephone from Hadestown. She is wearing a green dress with a lighter green wrap around the torso, and has long curling brown hair that fades to blond. There are large red-orange flowers in her hair, and one is places at the closure of her green wrap on her hip. She is raising a glass of amber liquid in the air with one hand, and smirking as she gazes off into the middle distance.]
I’m in a ton of fucking trouble so I’ll get straight to the point. My name’s D’vante, and I’m a trans man. As of today (4/4) I’m estimated to be 6 weeks pregnant, so while I’ve still got some time before I start to show, there’s some huge problems with how I can go about this on top of the amount of time pressure I’m under.
NO ONE IN THIS CITY WILL DO AN ABORTION. The closest clinic is 37 miles away, the next city over. The only means of transportation I have is Greyhound (which I plan to cover myself, as it’s only $12), but in order to do this I have to skip classes for that day and pray I don’t get called into work.
“Work? So you have a job? Why can’t you pay for it?” My work is part-time and relies entirely on ratio, meaning if clients aren’t present there’s no work to be done, so I’m not going to be paid to stand around. I haven’t been able to work this entire week, meaning my normal paychecks (~300) will be HALVED by this. THE ABORTION IS QUOTED AT $675, which I don’t even make in a month even working full weeks.
And on top of all this shit, it has to remain entirely a secret. I cannot ask for help because the family member I live with, as well as my nuclear family, is very religious and firmly believe abortion is murder. And because I’m not from here, I don’t have any friends who can drive me around or pay for something this huge.
The appointment is 4/17/19, the latest I can go before I risk the pill not working due to how many weeks pregnant I will be. If you can’t donate, PLEASE REBLOG, as you’ll possibly share it with someone who CAN HELP.
DONATE HERE
I also do commissions, if you want something out of your donation.
I had fun last night playing with lighting from a candle
[ID: three photos of a woman’s face with a neutral expression.
In the first image she is looking up to the left, and there is even red light throughout the picture.
In the second image, the left half of her face is in shadow, and reddish yellow light illuminates the right side of her face, neck and collarbone, where a tattoo of flying birds can be seen.
In the third image, she is facing right. Her face is mostly in shadow, with the same reddish light source present on the lower left. In this image her eyes are not visible, only her ear, cheek, and part of her nose and mouth.]
I want to stay on the back porch while the world tilts toward sleep, until what I love misses me, and calls me in.
— Dorianne Laux, from “On the Back Porch,” Only As the Day Is Long: New and Selected Poems
yesterday in economic botany we were learning about plant based oil compounds and stuff and my botany professor was talking about lynn seed oil, which in woodworking is rubbed on over furniture as a varnish. this oil has an exothermic chemical reaction with oxygen, meaning that the reaction creates heat. what often happens, apparently, is that woodworkers will finish rubbing on the oil with a rag and then will ball up the rag and throw it away, but because the reaction is taking place and the heat can’t escape (like it would on a piece of furniture where it can be cooled) it gets trapped in the rag, which gets hotter and hotter until it reaches the temperature where it bursts into flame. apparently many woodworking shops have been burned down by this. the proper way to dispose of rags with this oil is to hang them up on a clothesline, so again the reaction never gets enough heat to start a fire. im telling you this because im a writer and ive never heard of substance that will just…spontaneously combust conveniently like that so long as it’s in a confined space. my botany professor tried it in a trash can in his driveway and it did indeed burst into flame after 45 minutes, which is an exceptionally convenient time delay. im sorry im tying this so fast my laptop is on 2% battery and theres no outlet an
Oh yea, people use Linseed oil in oil painting, and when I was at art school they had special airtight trash cans to put it in and one time someone fucked up and the trashcan caught on fire when the next class came in
The whole bit with Hodge Podge is one of my favorite things in the whole podcast. The music, the Hodge Podge voice filter, the call to Pan, the boys trying to figure out what to ask to stump the robot. It’s gold. There are few moments that make me laugh as much as them asking what the largest prime number is and Hodge Podge cheerily responding, “It’s up there!”
A series of events:
1. I put in an Annual Leave request form almost 3 weeks ago and my boss has not approved it yet
2. I went into my office today and replaced every single writing utensil with crayons in preparation for April Fools Day on Monday
3. Whilst searching for pens to remove, I found my unsigned Annual Leave form in my boss’s drawer
4. I placed my unsigned Annual Leave form in a photo frame and put in on his desk
5. The frame I used was from a photo of his kids that I deemed less important than my Leave form
6. My boss sometimes goes into the office on Saturdays to work
7.
[ID: two text messages from the same person which read
1- “Going to sign your fucking leave form in crayon”
2- “Where are my children”]
Dry Rub for Fish—this is easy and delicious, and the cayenne gives it an awesome kick. You can also use it for chicken.
Best Steak Marinade in Existence—absolutely lives up to its name, and I say that as someone who doesn’t even like steak very much.
Cauliflower Soup with Hazelnuts and Bacon—sinfully good, the best recipe for cauliflower soup I’ve managed to find. And I’ve been looking.
Creamy Garlic Parmesan Mushroom Chicken & Bacon—I have a lot of recipes that include the words ‘creamy’ and ‘bacon’ which is probably a problem, health-wise. On the other hand, this shit is delicious.
Seasoned Turkey Burgers—as someone who’s swapped out turkey for red meat, this recipe is a goddamn lifesaver. Extremely easy, it uses those onion soup packets you get from the grocery store. Dress it up with your favorite condiments.
BLT with Fried Tomatoes and Cilantro Mayo—literally so good, if a bit labor-intensive. Btw, you can also just fry the tomatoes and then dip them in the mayo, also delicious.
Butternut Squash, Cauliflower & Beef Shepherd’s Pie—I made this for my office, and it was gone before lunch. Even my assistant told me that it was good, and she doesn’t like anything.
Bacon & Swiss Chicken Sandwiches—you know how in the Great British Bake-Off, Tamal had that sandwich he couldn’t stop thinking about? This is that sandwich.
Bacon, Gruyere, and Butternut Squash Frittata—takes the smokiness of the gruyere and the bacon, but combines with the butternut squash to make something delicious.
Spinach Salad with Hot Bacon Dressing—aromatic and delicious.
Cajun Fried Pickles—I’ve never made the dip, but the pickles are so, so good. Whenever I’m desperate for fries, I make these instead, they’re salty, tangy and good.
Garlic Goat Cheese Dip—get yourself a nice baguette, then make this, and have yourself a phenomenal evening of cheesy, cheesy goodness. (When I’m having a dinner party, I make the cheese dip and also this balsamic vinaigrette, for contrast.)
Butternut Squash Glazed Tart—I made these for the office thanksgiving party, and the Head Lawyer Of The Whole Office herself complimented me on how delicious they were. Since she had a lot of shit to say about my draft agreement, I’m taking the win.
Peach Tarts with Goat Cheese and Honey—the ultimate summer dessert, with puff pastry a perfect balance of mild cheese and the sweetness of the peaches and honey.
Creamy Yogurt Lemon Pie—another delicious summery dessert, but infinitely easier to assemble, especially if you get a pre-made graham cracker crust.
Puff Pastry Fruit Braid—technically, the recipe calls for a berry medley. However, this concept (puff pastry with cream cheese, cut in an attractive braiding pattern) can be adapted for many uses, including more savory options.
Coconut Macaroons—I made this for our office holiday party, and one of the attorneys who handles massive estates came up to me afterwards to thank me for a delicious gluten-free dessert. So there.
Tiramisu Cupcakes—I made cupcakes AND a cake, and my coworkers and a bunch of out-of-town friends promptly demolished them. While I prefer my desserts a little less sweet, clearly a crowdpleaser.
Sugar Cookies—made these for the office holiday party, and they vanished faster than the catered dessert. So, yeah, suck it professional catering company.
Dark Chocolate Ganache Tart—so silky and rich that you can’t have more than one slice at a time. Have it with coffee.
Best-Ever Pie Crust—so, so good. Sometimes I use bacon fat instead of shortening, which is even better.
Ciabatta—the only ciabatta recipe I’ve ever liked.
Cheesy Pesto Breadsticks—I made these for the office thanksgiving party, and got so so many compliments. People love a soft, chewy white bread flavored with pesto.
Dill Pickle Bread—this is my favorite bread recipe, it’s great for sandwiches and even tastes delicious with just a schmear of butter.
[ID: an image of Garfield the cat's face, smiling, on a pale blue background. Below his face are the words "you are not immune to the slicer of t'pire weir isles"]
when gabe kicks natalie off the melody line and forces her to sing the harmonies in superboy and the invisible girl
[ID: a photo of someone smiling smugly, eyes closed and holding a protein shake. The photo is captioned “the symbolism”]
-“I GAVE YOU LIFE!” / “yeah you gave me life apparently Mom gave me D&D skills!” -when Justin is annoyed and calls his dad “Clinton.” -“I went to all of Travis’s wrestling matches and watched him lose every time except the ONE time I didn’t go he beat a kid with the flu.” -when they make fun of Griffin for not being able to sleep unless he builds a pillow fort. -“you’re my brother and I love you but [string of insults].” -when the brothers call Clint “daddy.” -when Justin or Travis calls Griffin “Griffy.” -when Justin or Travis calls Griffin “Ditto.” -“wow that’s really low!” / “is it?! is it, Griffin?! is it almost like some fucking liches of your imagination sucked the life out of me a wizard?!” / “yeah that’s like real low!” -when Justin has Taako do some gamebreaking shit and Griffin is like “oh my God, Justiiiiiiiin!” -*Griffin does something sinister as a DM* “I forgot ONE birthday, Griffin!”
-*Clint does something childish* “hey are we sure we’re not Dad’s dad?”
-“hey Dad, remember every Christmas when we sat around the tree near the fire, singing songs of yule and basking in each other’s love?” / “no.” / “okay I’m gonna try that again and this time you say yes to my fucking bit.”
-when Merle spins “Mind” on the wheel and the vogue elves say “if you choose to take this sacrifice, you will lose the memory of… the birth of your children” and without missing a fucking beat Clint goes “I’ll take the penalty.”
-*after the boys finish a fight in the swamp* Griffin: “Dad you look like some sort of weird shit monster-” Justin: “and your character in this game looks pretty bad too.”
-Clint, sincerely: “Travis you aren’t mad at me for not going along with your decision in the game, right?” Travis, also sincerely “Dad, I could not give two shits.”
-the part where the boys realized, on air, that clint didn’t actually set their childhood pet fish free into the wild, it just died
9/21/19 9 pm Update
Hellos All
The Kickstarter is currently at $722 of $750 of the next goal, the same spot it’s been sitting for two days.
There is 9 days left! Please share or consider pledging even $1! Every single dollar is amazing! This is an all or nothing, that means you are only charged if the goal is reached!
Tagging a few more writerblrs from the tag list, please share! That is all I am asking for at this time! If you have a spare dollar to pledge, that’d be awesome, but really, the sharing is the important part. We have different followers and circles, so it shows it to new peeps who may be able to do a dollar themselves! If you’ve shared it before, please share it again, as it doesn’t show it to everyone every time.
Thank you all!
Jaimi
3/24/19 5 am Update
There’s 7 days left and $1,976 to go before fully funded!
Any and all help is appreciated, that includes sharing. Each share does help, even if it doesn’t seem like it. Google Analytics shows that peeps are seeing it. If one in every three pledged a single dollar, Unexpected Meeting would be totally funded.
Cleaning & Tidying
Organisation & Productivity
Money
Food & Cooking
Misc
Some final words of advice:
The Time Traveler’s Society
Do you recognize all of them?
[ID: a watercolor-style painting of time travelers from Doctor Who, Magic School Bus, Back to the Future, Legend of Zelda, Mary Poppins, Homestuck, and Magic School Bus, all without facial features. Description follows from left to right with more detail.
The nose of the magic school bus is visible. On top of the hood stands Link from Legend of Zelda in his green uniform.
In front of the hood is Ms. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus, wearing a blue full-skirted dress with planets on the skirt.
Beside the bus is the TARDIS from Doctor Who, and in front of it stands the Doctor, wearing a brown suit jacket, a white shirt, black pants, and a red bow tie. He is clutching his head with one hand, and holding a glowing sonic screwdriver with the other.
Next to him is Hermione from Harry Potter, with bushy brown hair, wearing the black robes, white collared shirt, red and gold necktie and red skirt that serve as a Hogwarts uniform. She is holding a book under one arm.
Behind her is the front end of the DeLorean from Back to the Future, and Doc Brown is standing on the hood. He is a wearing a white lab coat and has flyaway white hair, and is holding a jumper cable in one hand.
In front of him is Mary Poppins, wearing a black overcoat and hat with a red and orange striped scarf. In one hand she holds a carpetbag, and in the other a black umbrella.
Behind Mary Poppins is Lord English from Homestuck, shaped like a green Egyptian sarcophagus.
Next to Lord English is the edge of the Magic Tree House, and in front of that stand Jack and Annie. Jack is wearing an orange and white striped shirt and khakis, and the red straps of a backpack are visible. He is holding Annie's hand, who is wearing a pink shirt and black shorts, and they are both waving.]
