The lady with the big suitcase.

ex buzzfeed employees love sitting in threes on couches for their apology videos it's good enrichment for them

hey boss i can't come in today it's a sunny day and there's a lovely breeze coming in through my window, yeah it's rustling the branches of the tree outside that's finally bloomed so it's pretty serious

It has apparently been ten years since the time one of my professors pulled me aside to tell me I had to clean up after making out before going to class because my lipstick was everywhere and I realized "actually my tapdancing group decided we all had to dress like the Joker for our performance" was an infinitely worse explanation so I just said I was sorry

I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

"I'm just a smol bean uwu" No sir, what you are is someone who is so habituated to thinking of yourself as innocent that you will continue to do so even when you're guilty.

To quote Chris Fleming

"You know that thing where the most toxic person you've ever met over-relates to woodland creatures on social media? I call it Vibe Dysphoria. She'll put up a picture of a mouse in a jean jacket with 'It's me.' That is not you. I don't know how you got under the impression that you are a mouse in a jean jacket. You are an eel with a gun.She posts a toad with a basket of mushrooms like 'Me doing my little things.' Oh madam, there is nothing little about your things. You gave me psychosexual issues I'll carry to my watery grave. You are not a toad in the forest...You are a cruel woman who just happens to be small."--Chris Fleming

sorry if this is a dumb question but uhmm is anyone else's boop-o-meter doing this???

you have to stop biting the hand that feeds you. go for the neck

you're all unbelievably horny or hungry and i will not be asking which

speechless. the pose. the expression. this should be a painting.

girls night

((gouache on cardboard))

Ma I've made it. I got screenshotted and posted to tumblr.

they need to add two extra hours after ten pm where time doesn't pass so you can do some nice reading before bed

you have to stay alive. you're going to be such a beautiful middle aged freak. young freaks will see you in the street and know that things can be okay.

Black coffee enjoyers fighting the longest war known to man

hahaha who the hell made this

i’m screaming Xena caused the Ides of March

Xena caused most things. Xena influenced the development of Taoism. Xena gave directions to Joseph and Mary, but she ALSO stopped Abraham from killing Isaac. Xena does ALL THE THINGS.

Xena singlehandedly created history.

That she did

#she lived through everything and invented everything #the only thing she was never able to do was be straight - @threeofeight