Sleep is Over-Rated

might be an outlier here but when i smell my neighbors smoking weed i just smile and nod its like adjacent to hearing christmas carolers for me… good tidings and joy unto you brother

vader: who tore the warning sign off of this wampa cage?? storm trooper: security footage shows it was removed by a golden protocol droid vader: LOL

Vader in RotJ: wait the Alderaan princess is my daughter?? don’t know how to feel about that.

Luke: she strangled Jabba the Hutt to death with a chain.

Vader: OH HELL YEAH

why would you hide this in the tags that’s hilarious

This is the closest to a comic-accurate Gomez I've ever seen in a live action adaptation, too.

Concept: A witch cat that’s too fat to fly

Awwwww

I am on the verge of tears please watch this

EXU Calamity memes

ring of brass + text posts

bonus:

There's a lot of accidental anti-semitism in the world , but sometimes I come across the deliberate and malicious anti-semitism im DND and I'm just reminded that no matter how much I love this game it does not love me back and the original creators never wanted me to play it.

Today's example is: Phylactery

In d&d:

In real life

That's right. they named the evil artifact that the evil undead spellcaster hides their soul in after a Jewish ceremonial object.

Actually I want to add something because the genius of this particular kind of anti-semitism is that most gentiles won't know what a Phylactery really is, The only people who will notice are the Jewish players. Making them instantly feel isolated, alone, and unsafe in their d&d group.

when you come across that you should at the table paralyzed wondering

Do my fellow players know this is anti-Semitic?

If they don't know and I bring it up will they be mad at me for ruining the fun?

If they do know and I bring it up will revealing myself as Jewish be dangerous?

It's a tactic to deliberately push Jewish people out of the game. and nobody jump up to tell me it was an accident because it fucking wasn't. Before d&d Phylactery only had one definitionand I find it impossible that they would know the word without knowing the meaning. Or at least knowing it was Jewish.

{ID: Three images 1 - screenshot of the description for a Lich’s Phylactery, from the Forgotten Realms Wiki “The process of achieving lichdom required that the spellcaster construct a powerful magical artifact, a phylactery, in which the lich stored its life essence. As long as this phylactery was unharmed, the lich was immortal and would attempt to reassemble if it was ever vanquished (this happened within 10 days after its apparent destruction). It did not, however, grant any of the normal benefits of a phylactery until it was fully completed. For these reasons, liches took great care in protecting their phylactery from harm, employing decoys, traps, and other defenses.”

2 - screenshot of the Google definition for a phylactery, accompanied by two pictures of it: “a small leather box containing Hebrew texts on vellum, worn by Jewish men at morning prayer as a reminder to keep the law.” The phylactery is a black box with a strap on it

3 - a gif of someone rubbing their eyes with their hands, exhausted

/end ID}

Oh ew Dragon Age uses phylacteries too.

the most fucked up fictional universe is all those mouse movies where mice have a secret society underneath human society where they’re fighting mouse versions of the same wars and have the same religious oppression and each have a human version of themselves

Why does Mouse Victorian London have a military campaign in Mouse Afghanistan in The Great Mouse Detective?

What does Mouse England gain from the continued occupation of Mouse Afghanistan

Mouse Opium

i love that disguise self scaled the drawings down. 

This was some gay-ass behavior, NCIS. Watching each other paint, Ritz painting a badass Bishop on her wall, complimenting each other, staring pointedly at each other, Ritz putting Bishop (”Bish”) in her cell phone after knowing her for, like, an hour. “I watched your eyes”? “Are we good/Good enough”? Trading paintings? 

Yeah, this was some lesbian activity.

Holy crap I just watched this episode... Where are all the fanfics? I HAVE A MIGHTY NEED!

I am screaming lmao also this reminds me of @rosewater1997

@kingofthewilderwest

I really do love that people have legitimately always just been people. Like how many angry breakup texts have their been that end with “Come get your stuff or I’m donating it to goodwill”? People never change.

The concubine after reading this:

This is my new breakup format

Fuck him and his harem. I hope Nisaba made you #1 wife, baby

The history nerd in me loves this, the petty bitch in me loves this 🤣

That’s some hot tea from ancient Mesopotamia

so i watched The Old Guard on netflix and i will say: i do appreciate a movie that goes ‘hm, you call this trope bury your gays, you say? no, no. i don’t think so. this won’t do at all. our movie will have two guys who have been passionately in love for eight hundred years and literally cannot be killed, and one of them will give a speech about it. and then they will kiss. charlize theron is also there. good day to you.’

When I was a kid, my mom was a judge and my dad was starting his solo practice, and they both worked full time. There were four of us kids between the ages of one and seven (the Just Us League) and no decent daycares nearby, so they hired a nanny.  She had three almost-adult children, and on days when she couldn’t work, one of her kids would substitute. The oldest kid was named Bob, age 18, and he had just finished army basic training when this all went down. Bob did not have the good sense god gave a rock. 

I have an older brother, Jake, who was seven; then me, Hellen, age five, then Seth, age three, and my little sister Gin would have been one. It was late August, and we were at our nanny’s house, though she was gone for the day. Bob was in charge.

Bob should probably not have been in charge.

Bob tried keeping us entertained with board games and tag and movies. Gin took a nap. Eventually he decided to get creative, and sat us down in the living room with a game and vanished into the garage. There was a smashing sound. And then some saw noises. And then some hammering. And then we saw him going around the house to the back yard through the windows, though we were too short to see what he was doing. And finally, he yelled to us to come out into the driveway. 

Jake and Seth and I trooped out. Bob had both hands behind his back. He stepped up to Jake and revealed what he had in his right hand. 

It was a wooden sword. It was clearly made from what appeared to be parts of a chair’s legs, cut down and nailed together. He presented this, and announced, “You are Sir Jake, the strongest knight!” 

He stepped up to Seth and presented what was in his left hand. It was another wooden sword, smaller than the first, also crudely made out of chair legs. He announced, “You are Sir Seth, the bravest knight!”

At this point, I was practically vibrating in place, waiting eagerly for my sword so I could use it to whale on my brothers, as god intended me to do. I was therefore understandably disappointed to be presented with the business end of a garden hose and told, “You are Miss Hellen, the Water Fairy!”

“No,” I said. “I want a sword.”

Bob was confused. “But you get water magic! Magic’s great!”

“No.” I repeated, holding the hose. It had a spray nozzle set to jet. “I want a sword.”

“Magic’s great. Magic’s better than a sword.” Bob insisted. “You’ll see. Wait here a moment.”

And then Bob ran around the side of house and vanished. 

We stood in the driveway. Jake and Seth poked each other with their swords. I spritzed them idly with the hose, trying to decide which of them would be easier to steal a sword from. 

And then we heard a quiet wooshing noise, and smelled smoke. 

We turned. As we watched, a line of fire rushed around the corner of the house, consuming a path of gasoline poured into the dry August grass. 

We paused and considered this for a few moments. I raised the hose and sprayed a jet of water at the fire. It went out. We glanced at each other. Then we took off running, following the trail of fire, spraying as we went. 

The fire led in a path around the house to the back yard. As we turned the corner, we saw Bob, clad in a bathrobe and holding a curtain rod, standing in the center of a large ring of burning grass. He cackled manically. “I am the FIRE WIZARD! Your puny swords are useless! Nothing but water magic can defeat me!”

I promptly blasted him with the hose. He spluttered. The fire did not go out. 

I turned the hose on the fire itself, spraying a section close to us so that it would extinguish. As soon as there was enough room, Jake charged forward, brandishing his chair leg sword with a battle cry. Seth, always happy to be included, followed. They ran into the circle and began beating Bob around the kneecaps with their swords. I kept spraying. 

Eventually, Bob the Fire Wizard was brought down and all the fire was extinguished. Seth and Jake continued to work on bruising Bob’s shins, and I quickly discarded the hose to lend my fists and extremely pointy elbows to the cause. Bob lay in the smoldering grass, probably regretting using such sturdy chair legs. 

Once we’d all tired ourselves out and lay panting in a heap, Bob decided it was time for the moral of the story. “You see, a sword is nothing compared to the power of a little girl with **magic**.” 

We thought about this for a few moments. Bob nodded wisely. Jake and Seth nodded back. 

“I still want a sword.” I said. 

there’s a lot of people in the tags and replies expressing several concerns, which I will address:

Is that a real bird?? :0

Yes, she’s real. This is Arson, her mate, Larceny, and their idiot children, Forgery and Fraud.

Arson lives her life constantly wishing she had opposable thumbs so she could light fires.

What a ride

The absolute mania of naming your pets after felonies.

thrilled to report that that was also me

Uh oh

Watch the racists pretend like they can’t read all of a sudden

Couldn’t believe it so I found a source, it’s real

http://www.constitution.org/uslaw/defunlaw.htm

Man, I can’t imagine a black person getting away with this but it’s legal

Yup. So all those people that were like “just comply even if you did nothing wrong”, hell no! They shouldn’t be arresting you if you did nothing wrong. Especially how rough some of these cops are. More people knowing about this will cut down on these power hungry bad cops.

Reblogging again for quotes;

“Story affirmed the right of self-defense by persons held illegally. In his own writings, he had admitted that ‘a situation could arise in which the checks-and-balances principle ceased to work and the various branches of government concurred in a gross usurpation.’ There would be no usual remedy by changing the law or passing an amendment to the Constitution, should the oppressed party be a minority.

“Story concluded, ‘If there be any remedy at all … it is a remedy never provided for by human institutions.’ That was the ‘ultimate right of all human beings in extreme cases to resist oppression, and to apply force against ruinous injustice.’” (From Mutiny on the Amistad by Howard Jones, Oxford University Press, 1987, an account of the reading of the decision in the case by Justice Joseph Story of the Supreme Court.)”

“An illegal arrest is an assault and battery. The person so attempted to be restrained of his liberty has the same right to use force in defending himself as he would in repelling any other assault and battery.” (State v. Robinson, 145 ME. 77, 72 ATL. 260).

“As a practical matter one should try to avoid relying on the above in an actual confrontation with law enforcement agents, who are likely not to know or care about any of it. Some recent courts have refused to follow these principles, and grand juries, controlled by prosecutors, have refused to indict officers who killed innocent people claiming the subject “resisted” or “looked like he might have a gun”. Once dedicated to “protect and serve”, far too many law enforcement officers have become brutal, lawless occupying military forces.“

HMMM

Bringing this back 👀 For no reason in particular.