Zero Hour: Crisis in Time #1 (September 1994)

In this issue: Superman gets punched! The real villain is revealed! And, oh yeah, EVERYONE DIES.

We open with Supergirl, Steel, Alternate Timeline Batgirl, and a distraught Guy Gardner coming out of a big hole in reality in what used to be Coast City. Guy is muttering something about how he "just saw the woman I loved die" (which, if you're following @greenlantern94to04, you also just saw in the latest post about Guy Gardner: Warrior #24). More of these "entropy fissures" pop up all around and one of them gobbles up Steel, despite Guy's efforts. It's been a humbling day for the once obnoxiously arrogant Guyster.

While Guy curses Extant for causing all this, Extant is like "The hell is causing all this?" Turns out he's not the one opening all those fissures. That's when the mysterious glowing green figure from the end of last issue shows up and demonstrates that Extant isn't the top dog here (although you could still use a word for "canine" to describe him in this page). The Actual Big Bad chastises Extant for "forgetting who's in charge here" and acting like he's the villain of this comic just because he's all over the covers, ads, preview blurbs, and, you know, the comic itself. Until now, anyway.

The mystery villain's next stop is the 30th century, or at least the tiny Pocket (Earth) of it that still survives. The Time Trapper has stashed a few Legion of Super-Heroes members (including his own past selves, Cosmic Boy and Cosmic... Man?) in there to prevent them from being eaten by entropy, but they end up fading into nothingness anyway. Then, TTT is easily taken down by the mystery character again -- yep, it was him who did that at the start of ZH #4 (the first issue), not Extant. In fact, TTT even does the exact same pose while being blasted just to make it clear that it's by the same guy.

(And also because Dan Jurgens drew six books this month and deserved a little break here.)

Back in the 20th century, everyone born in the past or future starts disappearing as their eras of origin are deleted from history. That means Impulse (30th century), Booster Gold (25th), and the old folks at the Justice Society (early 20th). Before being wiped out, however, Jay "First And Apparently Only Surviving Flash" Garrick manages to convince his old friend The Spectre that they've finally reached the part of the crossover where he decides to get involved. (I only said decides, though; he'll actually do it next issue.)

As time gets erased, Metron takes Superman and a few others outside of it: meaning, to Vanishing Point. The heroes need someone who can easily ride the waves of time, so it's too bad that Waverider died last issue. Luckily, they still have his alternate human version Matthew Ryder, so they just turn him all Waverider-y using convenient comic book science. (It's kinda funny that no one asks for Matthew's opinion on this; he's just like "Oooh, I don't know about thi-- whelp, guess I'm Waverider now!")

In the present, the rapidly declining number of surviving heroes (Batman, RIP... ped apart by a time hole) fight Extant with the help of Waverider 2... and NO help from Wonder Woman, since she's busy delivering Power Girl's baby. At one point, Extant tries to de-age The Atom into primordial goop, but Waverider 2 stops that process when Atom is merely at 18 years old (ironic, considering The Other Atom died from being aged into bones back in ZH #3 (the second issue)).

Just when the heroes are about to defeat Extant, someone punches Superman himself into the ground. Everyone looks in shock as we learn that it's none other than...

Freakin' Psi-- I mean, Hal Jordan! Wait, isn't Hal a good guy? Nice, he can help bring down the mystery villain! The day is saved!

Wait, no. Hal is the mystery villain. He's taken the name Parallax and decided that the universe needs to be restarted from zero to correct injustices like the destruction of Coast City. Oliver Queen / Green Arrow can't believe that his old friend Hal is the one who just wiped away 99.999999...% of all of humanity across history, but Hal says that yep, it's him alright -- and proves it by wiping out the rest now. Everything fades to white.

As he fades away too, Hal says: "Who knows? Maybe one universe... one world -- won't be enough." But right now, there's no universe and no worlds. Just nothing. THE END. OF EVERYTHING.

Except this post, because there's more from Don Sparrow!

Adventures of Superman Alpha Centurion #516 (September 1994)

The effects of Zero Hour get crazier as our hero meets a strange visitor from another reality: some long-haired dude called "Super-Man" who dresses in garish blue tights and, worst of all, has the hots for Lois. How will Alpha and the gang deal with this weirdo?!

We open with this new character flying into Metropolis when he's hit by a lightning bolt, which he just shrugs off (overpowered much?). As he approaches Metropolis, The Superman seems surprised to realize that the city isn't in ruins -- which suggests that he isn't a very good superhero, since he apparently allowed Metropolis to be destroyed by some supervillain in his own reality.

Confused, he decides to investigate by infiltrating the Daily Planet offices wearing a hilariously flimsy "regular person" disguise consisting of: 1) an office worker suit, 2) a pair of glasses, and 3) a ponytail. When he sees Lois Lane, "Clark" (as he calls himself while wearing the glasses, kinda like how Batman calls himself "Patches" when he has an eye-patch on) just walks up to her and kisses her on the mouth. We can add "sexual harassment" to this guy's seemingly interminable list of powers. She slaps the shit out of him, of course.

Embarrassed, "Clark" changes back into his blue tights in a supply closet (looks like they haven't invented the concept of changing rooms in his reality) and flies off to deal with an emergency that his Superman-Senses detected -- only to find that good ol' Alpha Centurion is already handling it. About time the actual protagonist of this comic showed up! Alpha recognizes Superman from the crowd scenes in Zero Hour #3 and cordially invites him to team up against Bloody Mary and her robots, to which Superman initially reacts by just standing (well, floating) there looking confused.

The fight leads them to Centurion Park (home to the Alpha statue from "Death of Alpha Centurion"), where Mary's jetpack seems to malfunction and Alpha has to save her. They almost have a tender moment, but then Mary reacts to Alpha turning down her advances for the 516th time by stabbing him in the gut with her animetal hand, also for the 516th time. Yes, we've been keeping track.

Superman finally makes himself useful by stopping Mary as she's trying to escape, but Maggie Sawyer from Metropolis' The 100 police force understandably assumes this ridiculously-dressed flying being must be another villain and tries to arrest him. Alpha quickly clears up the misunderstanding, and then Superman returns the favor by taking him to Alpha Tower for healing. This scene re-confirms that Superman's an inferior superhero, since his reaction makes it clear that he doesn't have a big building shaped like the first letter of his name or an awesome swimming pool where he heals himself.

(Not to mention a cool Moe Howard haircut under that wig.)

As Alpha heals, he retells his origin for Superman's benefit (and because they needed to fill two pages with stuff we've heard a million times, I guess). You know the drill: he was a Roman Centurion, he was taken to another planet to study with aliens for 10 years, he came back to Earth 2000 years later because quantum physics, he saved a space shuttle, and a "tenacious reporter" gave him his superhero name (as seen in 1986's The Centurion of Alpha #1 by Junius Byrne).

Just then, that same reporter stops by and immediately starts making out with him Alpha, this time with both parties' full consent. Superman doesn't take the smooching well, and that's when he explains his awkwardness around Lois: in his reality, not only is he the hero of Metropolis but he's also her boyfriend! (Really, alternate reality Lois? Him?)

Superman says he has to go back to the Zero Hour series to "straighten out" the screwed up timelines. Alpha announces that he's coming along too, despite Superman warning him that this might "erase him from existence" (as if DC would just delete their biggest cash cow, and right when Lois and Marcus: The New Adventures of Alpha Centurion was in the air). Superman and Alpha depart together, meaning this will be CONTINUED IN ZERO HOUR!

Character-Watch:

The character debuting in this issue (after that brief Zero Hour cameo) would go on to make a ton more appearances throughout the '90s, though in a somewhat more irritating form than the reasonable chap we see in this issue. Why, he'll even get his own Superman Special! According to the DC wiki, though, he hasn't appeared since a 2007 issue of Alpha Centurion/Batman. I'm actually surprised Geoff Johns or James Robinson didn't using him as cannon fodder in some crossover in the '00s.

Plotline-Watch:

Shout Outs-Watch:

A hundred shout outs to Alpha Centurion LXXXVI to XCIX (AD)'s supporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Dave Shevlin, and Dave Blosser! Join them (and get extra Alpha Centurion-related articles) via Patreon or our newsletter’s "pay what you want" mode! Both of those also have free tiers, if you just wanna get posts like this one in your inbox.

And now, more from the great Donelius Sparrow!

Zero Hour: Crisis in Time #3 (September 1994)

Our eternal September continues as we reach Zero Hour #3 (the second issue), a.k.a. "The One With All The Elder Abuse." Putting Old Flash crying over Old Hourman's body on the cover was not false advertisement -- any '90s kids who bought this issue hoping to see some grandpas getting their asses kicked absolutely got their money's worth.

As seen in ZH #4 (the first issue), Superman has asked every spandex wearer in the DC Universe to gather outside the United Nations building so they can tackle the ongoing time crisis, but he's running late because he stopped to see his parents (all four of them) in Superman #93. Superman is further delayed when he hears screams coming from Keystone City, which turn out to come from a super-fast, video game-addicted child from the future fighting time-displaced dinosaurs.

Superman recruits "Don't Call Me Kid Flash!" here (a.k.a. Impulse) and reaches New York to meet the gathered heroes, including but not limited to: the Justice Leagues (including everyone's favorite founding member, Triumph), the Super-Family, the Bat-Family (including an able-bodied Batgirl), the New Teen Titans, the Team Titans, a few time-lost Legion of Super-Heroes members, the new Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner), the new Darkstar (Donna Troy), a newly armored Guy Gardner, a newly unkempt and one-handed Aquaman, our old pal Agent Liberty (who's probably very thankful to be invited), and, of course, the protector of Metropolis: Alpha Centurion! (The rando with the orange helmet on the far left, who we'll learn more about in the next issue of Adventures.)

Oh, and that lady in the purple dress is Power Girl, who suddenly went from dressing like a sex goddess to wearing grandma clothes when her magical pregnant belly started showing.

The heroes quickly decide Superman should be their leader (even though Guy volunteered first), and he proposes trying to figure out where this mess even started. It turns out someone's way ahead of them: the Justice Society of America has already traveled to the time crisis' point of origin, Vanishing Point, aided by Waverider, the loose cannon among the DCU's time cops. Problem is, Waverider and the JSA's Hawkman and Hawkwoman got lost on their way to Vanishing Point and ended up in the latest issue of Hawkman, where all the various Hawkpeople get hit by "cosmic energy" and condensed into a single Hawkperson (a sequence I'm sharing mostly because it reminds me of Superman and the Eradicator getting hit by the kryptonite beam in "Reign of the Supermen").

Meanwhile, at Vanishing Point, the JSA meets the guy who seems to be behind the time crisis: Hank Hall, a former C-list hero who recently got a massive power upgrade and became the A-list villain known as Extant (well, "A-list for a single month in 1994," anyway). Extant has time-based powers, which is unfortunate for the JSA, who have been cheating time by looking young when they should all be in their 80s, considering they're old enough to have punched Hitler. Extant corrects that by turning all of them super old, instantly killing the Golden Age Atom in the process. Only the Golden Age Green Lantern is spared thanks to his power ring and remarkable blondness.

(No you're not, Hourman. You also die one page later.)

Anyway, RIP the JSA. Thank you for your service; off you go into "elderly supporting character" status for several years. Back in New York, the time anomalies are getting more chaotic and threaten to destroy entire cities. Speaking of destroyed cities, one interesting moment is when the heroes learn that a young, non-crazy Hal Jordan seemingly died last issue and Guy Gardner wonders if that means present-day, yes-crazy Hal is dead too, and whether they could use the time anomalies to save Coast City and prevent Hal's downfall. That's... a pretty good idea, actually. Maybe Guy should have been the leader instead of Superman after all.

Waverider eventually remembers he left the old geezers back at Vanishing Point and goes to check in on them, but he's too late to save them from getting Extant'd. The issue ends with Extant pulling out his mask to reveal that he's... another Waverider?! How?! Why?! I legitimately don't remember anything about that plotline, so we'll have to find out together next issue. TO BE CONTINUED IN ZERO HOUR #2 (THE THIRD ISSUE)!

But first: a word from resident art expert Don Sparrow! Several words, actually...

Zero Hour: Crisis in Time #4 (September 1994)

It's... CRISIS TIME! Listen, we're not in the habit of covering every issue of every crossover event Superman appears in, but we're making an exception for this one because: 1) Superman plays a prominent role (as do the characters in my other blog), 2) it's by two of the most iconic creators from this era, Dan Jurgens and Jerry Ordway, and 3) we just like this comic a whole lot. Still, we'll do our best to keep these posts shorter than usual so we don't spend forever in September 1994.

Fittingly for a series that begins at #4 and counts backwards, this issue starts at very end -- as in the literal end of time, when all that exists is the entropy crushing the universe (and Doomsday, but looks like he was too busy being crushed by entropy to appear in this comic). We see The Time Trapper, a hugely powerful villain with a control over time, being easily taken down by a mystery character who says he's going to "make things right."

(That's what you get for being an old villain in a comic where a new one needs to be established as a badass, TTT.)

Next, we see weird time-related things happening all over the DCU: Batgirl shows up in Gotham City with her spine intact, Dick Grayson is back to wearing green undies, Hawkman is now multiple Hawkmen, Flash is suddenly in the far future (historically, not a very good time for a Flash to be during a crisis), etc.

Superman's frenemies the Linear Men, the time police, notice that something is erasing time, starting at the end and moving backwards, as if God had said "screw it, let's start over" and was holding the backspace key on the universe. Linear Men Waverider and Hunter are sent to the 64th century to find out what's going on and, once there, they run into Flash -- and also a big wave of entropy eating the universe. Flash attempts to stop the wave of mutilation by just running really fast at it (which is how he solves most of his problems in his own comic), but the wave just eats him too.

A Flash died? Oh, now it's a real crisis.

The Linear Men's next stop is 58th century Star City, whose hero is a time-displaced younger version of Green Lantern Hal Jordan (we know he's younger because he doesn't have greying hair, and also he isn't homicidally insane). Before he and Young Hal are eaten up by the entropy wave, Hunter yells at Waverider to look up the word "crisis" in their archives. Back at Vanishing Point, the Linear Men's HQ outside of time, Waverider basically reads the Wikipedia article for Crisis on Infinite Earths and becomes one of the few people in the current DCU to learn the forbidden knowledge that there used to be a multiverse that got wiped out, leaving a single existing universe. The "existing" part might not last much longer, though...

While all this Linear Men stuff happens, we see a repeat of the scene from Man of Steel #37 when Metron of the New Gods comes to see Superman about the time crisis. Together they go off into Green Lantern #55 to ask for new Green Lantern Kyle Rayner's help in producing a hologram of Superman that Metron can forward to the DCU's other heroes. Green Hologram Superman gives everyone a little speech and asks them to come together to figure out what to do about the whole "time is literally ending" issue.

Metron personally visits The Spectre to ask for his help, since he's one of the most powerful beings in the DCU (and did come in pretty handy during the previous crisis), but Speccy is only interested in fighting evil, not "natural disasters" -- even universe-ending ones.

Meanwhile, Waverider learns that time is also being erased from the beginning, not just the end, and goes to warn the geezers at the Justice Society about it, I guess since they're so old and at risk of being erased any moment. Plus, they have a Flash in their team, so he's probably the most endangered being in the DCU right now.

As Waverider shows the old Flash what happened to his young namesake (he doesn't take it well), we see that someone has invaded Vanishing Point: this comic's villain, Hal... I mean, Hall, Hank! That is, Hank Hall, formerly Hawk of Hawk & Dove and Monarch of Armageddon 2001, and currently known as Extant.

And he's totally working alone, with no more dramatic revelations about heroes-turned-villains to come, nope. TO BE CONTINUED!

Poll-Watch:

The results for our Zero Hour Batmen art poll are just in (okay, they were in a few weeks ago, but we hadn't made a post since then), and the winner by a pretty decisive margin is: Neal Adams Batman! Don Sparrow will get working on that artwork -- which reminds me we have a winner for Don's original Maxima art giveaway, too: our old pal Chris "Ace" Hendrix! Congrats to Chris and whichever wall in his home is about to be blessed with a Maxima! To take part in future giveaways (including the Neal Adams bat-art), you can become SUPporter via Patreon or our newsletter's "pay what you want" mode.

And speaking of Don, obviously he wasn't gonna miss the chance to gush about the art in this issue, so keep reading for that:

Jerry Ordway puts his own spin on an iconic scene from Superman the Movie (1978).

Maxima by Don Sparrow (and GIVEAWAY!)

BEHOLD, @donsparrow's finished art for the winning choice of our Superman/Doomsday: Hunter/Prey bonus artwork poll! (If patrons are feeling some deja vu, that's not a temporal anomaly; it's because you'd previously seen the black and white artwork.) And, as promised, we're giving the original art away to one supporter, whether you're pitching in via Patreon or the newsletter's "pay what you want" mode. If you're in that group and wanna enter the draw, just leave a comment and our advanced AI system will take care of the rest. (Meaning I'll copy and paste your name into a notepad file and then look up "random number generator" to pick a winner.)

PS: In case you missed it, we had a post about Action Comics #702 last week, featuring Superman and Ron Troupe ruining a Nazi's day and Cat Grant in a bathing suit...