I am used to people assuming my long haired dmab child is a girl, that is what 99% of people think, no matter what Baby is wearing. Despite the fact that I use gender neutral terms for Baby on tumblr, in real life I do not even attempt to raise them gender neutrally because I don’t trust society. However, I also do not rigidly enforce their gender. most people refer to them as a girl when they meet them, and typically I do not bother to “correct” them because I don’t care. The only time I “correct” them is when it gets weird or the interaction is prolonged.
One time I was at the store when another dmab child started following mine around. The family of that kid thought it was the cutest thing they had ever seen. They laughed, “look, he’s following that little girl around!” I smiled politely and kept shopping
They didn’t go away, however. They kept following us. My child didn’t really understand what was going on, and they kept saying things like, “look, he has a crush on the little girl!” I don’t know how long this went on, but it got really weird. Finally, I turned and said, “actually, he’s a boy.”
They disappeared. Not another word was spoken. I don’t think they even acknowledged what I said beyond a shocked “oh”. Suddenly, it wasn’t cute. Suddenly, it wasn’t Innocent. Suddenly, their boy didn’t have a crush on my boy, like they had insisted before.
It’s fucking toxic and weird