☻annie☹

About five times a year, I re-learn that Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon are different people.

someone call chris pine

avengers: infinity war spoiler but I don’t give you the context

“make america great again!” ok, where are my untouched national parks? where are my unpolluted rivers and aquifers? where are my trash-free coasts? you don’t want the old america back, you just want the oppression and racism and general inequality that we’ve been trying to erase for years. say you’re a self-important bigoted old bitch and move on

Friendly reminder that Anakin, Leia, Luke and Kylo have all seen at least one of their parents die

Wow I Cant Believe Kylo Had To Deal With That How Awful For Him

WHICH ONE OF YOU DID THIS

This has always been my favorite scene in TCAP history.

If your straight guy friend says that he supports gays, tell him that you thought he was gay when you first met him. See how fast he gets upset and insecure & starts asking you why you thought that.

My gay guy friend tried this to our straight friend and the response he got was “thought? More like hoped” and then he winked. That’s a real ally right there. 

He really just scalped your poor gay friend on the spot didn’t he lmfao

making of frozen…..

the amount of photoshop work that went into this is literally wild

why is there a person out there with superhuman photoshop ability who just spends their time making frozen pictures. i dont understand the way the world works

my friend’s four-year-old son wouldn’t go to sleep because he wanted to keep looking at the stars and she tried to bribe him with a piece of chocolate and he just said “would you rather get a reward or be happy” and turned back to the window

Oh my… God?

How to Feign Your Life is Together

Have a signature accessory, clothing article, make up look, or hair style.

Have a fragrance. Make your hair scents and lotions match your perfume.

It’s okay to dine alone. Bring a book or people watch.

Love your hair. Research the best brands for your hair type and use masks weekly.

Your nails don’t need to be fancy, but keep them maintained.

Stay worldly. Know works of art, artists, designers, films, books, politicians. Spend your lunch break reading the paper or a magazine.

Crying is not a weapon. It’s okay to feel your emotions, but never use them as an excuse to avoid your problems.

Jealousy is boring. Love and appreciate others. If you can’t love them, forget them.

Boost others. Flatter others, but don’t deprecate yourself in the process.

Don’t sulk. Don’t let the whole world know your problems. If you don’t want someone to give their opinion, don’t share your situation.

Your life is between you and the universe. Don’t post your personal matters for others to see.

Don’t emotionally blackmail others. They hurt you? Let them know and then move on. It’s between the two of you and not the world.

Cook dinner. Cook dinner and listen to music, the radio, or a podcast.

Treat yourself to candles and flowers. Be your own cheerleader.

Take naps. Take a cat nap on a Sunday afternoon with the blinds open and the fan on high.

Drink your water, eat your vegetables. Take care of your body.

Never have time to take off your jewelry before bed, but always have time to take off your makeup. Your nighttime skin regime is important.

Mystery is beautiful. You don’t need to reveal much of or about yourself.

Never appear other than as you are. Don’t lie about yourself. Embrace who you are at your core.

i want that really cliché friend group who takes long drives together and takes pictures of each other when they’re not looking and goes on random picnics and visits museum together fuck i want it so bad where y’all at

hot life tip: 

if a family member or a loved one who you’re sure is supposed to be dead sends you any sort of correspondence and asks you to come to a place that’s either a) a swamp b) foggy town or c) a mansion

just don’t go

What about an amusement park. Can I go if a dead relative asks me to come to an amusement park? 

Probably not.  People with happy childhoods invited to amusement parks by dead relatives learn shattering truths about their childhoods and families, and people with unhappy childhoods invited to amusement parks by dead relatives have to fight monsters.

Either way, just order a pizza and stay home.

What about if a dead relative invites me to a regular park?

as a future dead relative, I understand why these sorts of communications with the living are very fraught. Is there a nice, neutral place I can invite my surviving descendants for a pleasant post-life discussion? 

this is a sincere question and not in any way a trap

Going to have to agree with the other people who suggested Denny’s.  Most are open 24 hours in case you can only meet at midnight, and, trust me, as long as you’re not, like, actively shedding body parts or covered in maggots, none of the staff are going to blink an eye when a postmortem individual comes in.  They’ve most likely seen worse already.

I don’t know if anyone’s posted this yet but this is the crowd during Love On Top and it’s soooo fucking lit i’m crying it’s beautiful (from twitter: beysusfacts)

WOW STOP

when ur mom works hard so you give her a break

This is so sweet I cried

x

Everything about this is a masterpiece: the girl that says “wow” and the girl that says “hi” shyly and bill awkwardly lifting his hand to say hi to them I’m cracking THE FUCK UP

why are dog lovers so hateful??? like you meet a cat lover and they’re like “oh i love dogs a lot too! i just prefer cats!” but dog lovers are always like “my ENTIRE FAMILY was MURDERED by a CAT, a cat STOLE MY GIRLFRIEND, BURNED MY HOUSE DOWN, TOOK MY JOB AND KEYED UP MY CAR"