The World In My Opinion

A young artist exhibits his work for the first time… …and a well known art critic is in attendance. The critic says to the young artist, “would you like my opinion of your work?” “Yes,” says the artist. “It’s worthless,” says the critic. The artist replies, “I know, but tell me anyway.”

fuken savage

i told everyone i was going to vacuum the kitchen and to stay out for a few minutes, and literally in the time it took me to go get the vacuum cleaner someone accidentally left their glass in the water dispenser and flooded the entire kitchen.

How…?

i know this isn’t a legit question but since i’m at maximum petty at this moment let me just describe the level of ennui in my house. my dad doesn’t like to stand there and hold a water glass under the fridge dispenser for the ~8 seconds it takes to fill a glass so he macgyvered it so you can just jam a glass in there and let it do its thing.

and by macgyvered i mean he took it apart, removed the spring mechanism, and bought a whole set of new glasses that are the perfect size so that they wedge in the dispenser.

that’s what i’m dealing with. my dad surgically altered the fridge and bought an entire glass tableware set so that he wouldn’t have to hold a glass in the dispenser for 8 seconds.

he’s done this with almost everything in the house. he was tired of having to latch and unlatch gates so he cut off the latches and taped industrial strength magnets in their place. he hooked up the chicken coop door to a circuit board and a solar array so it opens and closes automatically. years after he divorced my mom, one of her toilets broke and when the plumber opened it up it was full of corks that my dad had somehow tied into a functioning flush mechanism, presumably so he wouldn’t have to go buy real parts at the hardware store we lived next door to. we’re talking a walk of thirty feet from toilet to hardware store counter, max. it was literally just operating on cork power. for all those years. we never knew.

anyway that’s how.

Is your father a software engineer? Because I’m getting a very distinct whiff of “software engineer” from this post.

“Сотворение”

so i threw this into translate

and i was confused for a split second before remembering: 

#GetTinaThick2017

I’m convinced he a nature demigod or be using pheromones

He started a foundation to help end hunger. It’s called Everybody Eats. From the Mission page on the site: 

“Everybody eats began on an ordinary summer day which consisted of me playing 2k with my cousin ken polo, until we stepped outdoors with some club crackers and made friends with deer in our neighborhood. I began to record videos of me feeding the deer for fun, I thought it was completely normal and I even decided to name them since I felt we had a special connection. The videos began to gain some buzz over the course of a week, but on the third day is when things got crazy, Money’s whole family came to my backyard, this is when I established the “Deer Squad,” which consists of Money, Baby Mama, Baby Bambi, Lola, Money jr., Canela, and Tequila. I fed them powdered donuts and marshmallows at first since I had nothing nutritional in my house at the moment, but I could tell that they loved the snacks by the way they all surrounded me without fear and ate swell. I developed a love for the Deer Squad, well I guess you can say the whole world did. In just three days I gained over 150,000 followers on Instagram, and over 40,000 followers on Twitter. I was feeling truly blessed, amazed, and honestly a bit confused on how these videos went viral. But, I realized that this opened a lot of opportunities so I started selling my own merchandise named “Everybody Eats,” a phrase I use when I talk to the deer as I feed them because I treat them equally, with nice snacks and genuine love.

Gaining all of these eyes on me made me realize I can make an even bigger impact on this world, and that nothing makes me happier than helping people. Only being 18 years old I decide to start my own nonprofit organization, not only to help the underprivileged, but to inspire and set an example to all of my viewers. Coming from a single-parent home, after school snacks were considered a luxury and holiday dinners were always something special to us as a family. Food brings people together and it also brings happiness to the table. The Everybody Eats Foundation focuses on helping single-parent families during the holidays and after-school kids year-round. The way I envision it, if I could do it then anyone can, and in today’s society it is vital for us help each other and let positivity be a major key in everyone’s life.”

I didn’t see his name up here, so I’ll add it. His name is Kelvin Pena

Seasons Greetings my dudes!

do you think truckers realize that theyre dentists of highways

explain

they both fuck twinks at gas stations

explain

What do you mean, vet’s office? YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO THE PHILHARMONIC!

i’ve reblogged this at least seven times and i don’t regret any of them

GO WATCH THIS SHOW, HONESTLY IT IS SO AMAZING. 

IF THIS POST CREATES 1 NEW PUSHING DAISIES FAN MY LIFE = MADE. 

Alright let me help out then:

1) Most of the cast is female. In fact only two main characters are male.

2) Both male characters take typically non-masculine hobbies. Emerson Cod knits almost non-stop and makes pop-up books. Ned is literally called “The Pie-Maker” because he bakes homestyle pies from his mother’s method. Both are shown to be very nurturing and even maternal characters. Conversely, the women? A pair of professional travelling show performers that have gritty sexual scandals the way men usually get (see the entire “Chuck’s father” storylines), a beekeeper who is the single most positive and optimistic character imaginable, and a former professional jockey- Three of four pro athletes.

3) You could very easily make the claim Ned is asexual.

4) Yes, the storyline is about romance. But it’s also about the positive side of a love story, and their only drama lies in overcoming their inability to actually share contact.

5) A very good friend of mine recommended this show to me as “Disney for adults.” I told her it was already on my list to watch because “It’s by Bryan Fuller, from Wonderfalls and Dead Like Me.” Bryan Fuller is now most known for “Hannibal.” The same camera methods and bright colours and lighting techniques Hannibal is known for? Perfected in this show, just using a different tone- The same colour methods in reverse, upping the vivid greens and yellows instead of reds and blues, which sells emotion both ways.

7) Probably one of the best examples of a modern day fairy tale possible.

8) Narrated by Jim Dale- The narrator for the HP audio books.

I don’t know if anyone’s already added links to this, but all of these here work and if you hover over the links, an episode description shows :)

Season 1:

Season 2:

This show is actually so cool!

This show is amazing!

My favourite snapchat story too date.

Belmont Chronicle, Saint Clairsville, Ohio, March 11, 1875