my mom: it’s really not good to eat past sunset me, whose circadian rhythms have aligned with a nearby raccoon’s: your rules don’t apply here

*feels ok for 1 second* amazing. i was faking my mental illness all along

this kid gets it

Beautiful.

how i deal with anger

who took this snapshot of me in my private home

when you change angles and lighting but your selfie still comes out ugly

bro come here and lie down on the cool, damp earth with me as our flesh slowly withers and our bones intertwine as we’re consumed by moss and the relentless, inevitable ravages of time it’ll be epic

why don’t you be a fucking man and decay with me bro

ravioli ravioli give me emotional stabilitioli

Every other straight man ever singing about a woman: wow baby you’re so sexy I love you because your body is sexy

Hozier, an intellectual and lesbian ally: I am a bird of prey and you are a sharp spike upon which I impale small rodents

Straight man #2505: we met at the club she was really hot

Forest lad himself: it was as my baby churned up the mud that she found me there, buried and alone

Fucking eduardo sheerman or whomever: I just want to errr kiss you babe

Andrew Hozier Byrnes: I want nothing more than for us to lay in a field together until we decompose and are eaten by foxes

billionth straight man: i love you, alive girl. i will show you with my body, and my lips and my eyes, very soon. 

hozier, actual legend: when my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth. no grave can hold my body down, i’ll crawl home to her.

me, braless in my room eating grapes: i hate men

adult person: life gets faster as you get older!

me aged 10: sounds fake but ok

me now:

enjoy the short term!!! sometimes ur not gonna be friends for 46 years and that’s ok, just enjoy the drive!!! some people aren’t gonna have a significant impact in ur life but not every show is a TedTalk, sometimes u needs some Real Housewives!!’ loosen up, the universe is rearing to explode and if that bix isn’t permanent herself, you’ve got nothing to lose! forever is an illusion

being bisexual isn’t being “half straight, half gay”. You gotta leave room for the depression

Dick appointment: you want to meet around 10pm?

Me: wow…that’s like my bedtime

*eats my wedding vows after reading them so no one will have physical proof of my vulnerability*

this guy gets it

“why are you tired all the time”