im passing into the abyss, scoob

i mean . no shit?

leoreturns:

Will it hit a million notes today?

Will it hit 2 million notes today?

“I’m going to drive through Appalachia, should I be scared of the inbred hill folk and the cryptids? 😱😱😱😱” no bitch, be scared of sliding off a mountain into a valley and not being found for months or years.

they’re going to be insinuating Bigfoot got you in YouTube docs while your Ford Taurus is upside down at the bottom of a mountain

The Western US has guard rails everywhere they could possibly be needed, but in Appalachia, guard rails are for sissies

I think a lot of us would like to have guard rails. It’s not a matter of pride but a matter of infamously shitty and neglected civil infrastructure in Appalachia as a product of local corruption and perpetual state underfunding.

In 1977, the mayor of Vulcan West Virginia wrote to the Soviet Union and East Germany requesting foreign aid to replace the only bridge leading into town, an old swinging footbridge that had collapsed. This was the final straw that forced the West Virginia Legislature to cough up $1.3 million dollars to replace the bridge. Not the fact residents had been fording the river or using unsecured crossings to get to their homes for two years, the bad press generated by a Soviet journalist visiting the area to assess the situation.

It’s been almost 50 years since that and to be honest not much has changed. A lot of the bridges that would have been considered unsound at that time are still up and being driven over everyday.

Driving on poorly maintained roads over flat land is scary enough but driving on a poorly maintained, cracked, potholed, far too narrow road up the side of a mountain with a sheer drop and no guard rail is enough to give anyone a panic attack. Driving over 125+ year old, narrow, rusty one lane bridges that span rushing rocky rivers is something you SHOULD be scared of in Appalachia.

with access to the 2022 tumblr vernacular, he'd be unstoppable

#pushing for a house md remake for one purpose only: so we can hear gregory house say 'god forbid women do anything'

this old bitch still dying in his cringeass diagonal bed by the fireplace lol

sorry i haven’t replied to your email, i uh.. ran out. of emails. i ran out of emails

everyone come get your mayo soup

obsessed with harvey at the y2 luau. absolutely busting ass with this quirked up jpeg shuffle. hes such a shut-in i bet this was like a magical girl transformation for him. the townsfolk see him walk onto the dance floor and are like ohhhh shit peepaws about to bust it down narsty style. fuck it UP white boy. the last ditch effort of a swagless migratory bird throwing back his ENTIRE pussy to attract a mate. im so obsessed with him you dont understa

regular lobsters start out as just little lobsters but spiny lobsters start out as these beautiful weird larvae that also evolved to ride on top of jellyfish. This jellyfish is too small though!!!

imagine some other guy evolving specifically just to annoy you. what the fuck

to me charlie puth doesn’t exist outside of these tweets

Two idiots decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic. 

"What's Logic?" the first idiot asks.

The professor answers by saying, "Let me give you an example."

"Do you own a weedeater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!"

The professor continues, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, "Amazin!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The idoit is obviously catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I can't wait to take that logic class!!"

The idiot, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asks the friend.

"Math, History, and Logic!" he replies.

"What in tarnation is logic???" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weedeater?" he asked.

"No," his friend replied.

"Gay."

hold on. Was suck him good and hard through his jorts supposed to conjour the image of someone who has an unzipped fly because this entire time I've been imagining someone slurping on wet denim

Truly one of the sentences of all time. Wetpilled denimmaxer

good morning to crazy people, substance abusers, only children, and nicotine addicts. if you’re not any of these things that’s going to have to change.