fidenx reblogged
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l-e-v-i-ackerman
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Yeah, they’re living the good life, can’t see what he is going through.
Echosmith - Cool Kids
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Remember the day of grief Now it’s strange for me I could see your face I could hear your voice
punches shoulder. 'hey idiot.' ( i know i said i am not ready but jean wanted to bug eren so bad rn )
glares at Jean “Can’t you stop acting like a five year old kid? Anyway I see that you are back. Are you going to stay or are you going to leave again?”
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wordsnquotes
I’m not used to being loved. I wouldn’t know what to do.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, ”More Than Just A House” (via wordsnquotes)
Source: wordsnquotes.com
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embracinginsanity7-deactivated2
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fracturedmorals: He knew this was a mistake from the expression Eren had been making. The ’I’m sorry’ was only a a punch to his gut, feeling like he was winded. Why was it so hard to breathe all the sudden? He didn’t know Eren that well, but he did remember something from when he first met him through Mikasa. He came here to escape, he came here to run. To run away from his past. He had caught glimpses about it from the conversations he’s over heard from the two of them. Death. A boyfriend. Couldn’t save. It’d been a few years from what he gathered, but from the expression he was making, it might as well been yesterday. Hands moved from his face to his shoulder, trying to hold him close. Sure he’s never felt the pain of losing someone so close, but he’d still try to help him even if it meant giving up what he wanted in the end. Maybe that’s what you’re truly supposed to do for those you care for? As Eren turned away, he grabbed him, forcing him back around, his hand on the back of his head as he pressed his face to his chest. "Fuck if I’m letting you walk away like this Jaeger. Don’t they say you’re not supposed to cry alone or something?” He rubbed the back of his head, his other arm wrapping around his waist. “You know Jaeger, I honestly never thought it’d come to this, but you damn know I won’t be imagining this never happened, not a damn chance in hell.” He looked around, noticing that the sun was coming out, how ironic that was with the storm that was ravaging his heart at the moment. Seemed that fate just wanted to mock them, giving them one chance and taking it away. His nuckles brushed up and down his spine, trying to be comforting more than anything. “I’m not gonna say that you have to choose now, just…just know my feelings are there. I know you need some time to think- an-and just so you know, I’ll drop this if you want me to. Just tell me no and I won’t pressure this again.” His arms around him tightened slightly before dropping completely from Eren.
"Okay cut the crap, being romantic and caring doesn't suit you at all assface."
He had to do something, He had to say something. He couldn't just leave his friend like this… Jean knew so well that Eren was not going to keep on hiding in his chest forever. Even though he wanted to, even though he appreciated it, he appreciated every single bit of it. Jean was the closest person to his heart right now, and they both knew that he wouldn't be so happy about it if the blond saw him crying. He knew that the other could understand him so well, as if they were in sync.
Sometimes, just sometimes it felt as if they didn't need words to talk. And he hated it. He hated it because he was betraying himself, betraying Levi. The teenager has clearly made a promise that he wasn't going to forgive himself. Yes he was going to keep on living, but there was a difference between living because you are alive and living because you want to. And Jean was giving him the desire to live because he wants to spend every second doing stupid shit.
"There's no way in hell I'm crying in front of you idiot, It's just rain drops. I'm soaked like a puppy man…"
Yeager rolled his eyes, trying to avoid eye contact as much as possible "No one said anything about you being wrong. I have just confessed to you and because you are too stupid you didn't get it. Anyway that’s good I don't want you to understand or anything it's just…." Now his voice was cracking up, again. He knew he had to shut up or he might break in tears. But he couldn't…he really couldn't this time "It's just I hate him so much…"
Now tears were sliding right in front of Jean, leaving his own chest burning inside out. It felt as if every single blood cell inside of him was set on fire. Breathing became impossible, standing felt like walking on pins "He promised he would be the one to take my damn first kiss. He promised he would fuck me all night none stop on my 18th birthday!!! How could he die! How could he die protecting me!! How COULD HE DIE I SHOULD BE THE ONE DEAD!" He had to shut up. This had to end. And the only way was through biting his lower lip. It's not that he didn't accept it, It's just he couldn't understand it. He couldn't understand why it happened to Levi not him
"He was a police officer, yes he freaking was a man that did his job well. And it just happened that the mall that was being attacked, I was there and I was going to be shot but he protected me. Because he was an asshole he died in my arms. I FREAKING HOPE HE IS ROTTING IN HELL RIGHT NOW."
Why was he getting angry? No why was he furious? At Levi? At Jean? No he was mad at himself for being so useless. Before he realized, he was on his knees sobbing loudly in the street like a child. He was finally sobbing after two years…he was finally able to yell even when Mikasa and Armin begged him to. He always said he was fine, but no he wasn't. He missed his lover…he just wanted Levi back. Fingers curling around the clothing hiding his chest, Tears kept on running down. Today was the day Levi died; today was the day Levi disappeared. And he has just kissed the blond… How pathetic he was…
captainlxvi
"I don't recall being a child so that you can get me a cab, no worries I'm sober enough to get one for myself."
What was he doing for fuck's sake? He was the type of person who disliked drinking then why was the fifth glass resting in his palm? His fingertips were stalking its edge as if he never held one before. His eyes were half open which gave everyone a misunderstanding that he was drunk. Because he wasn't drunk, he was a little drunk. Just a little…
What could be better than being half sober to start confession session? Well all he needed was to say what he wanted then get completely drunk right? Damn, that's exactly why he hated drinking. It made him like a depressed teenager. A sigh escaped from his mouth, arms slipping to rest against the surface to turn into a pillow for his head "I'm twenty one for fuck's sake stop treating me like a hamster. Anyway There's something I don't understand at all…GOD DAMN IT."
Yep, one of the good reasons not to let our brunet drink that he could turn from an emo to a hyper active rat. He suddenly sat down perfectly straight just to slap his own cheeks and look Levi in the eyes, ignoring everyone around him. "YOU CONFUSE THE HELL OUT OF ME. I don't get it sometimes I want to grab you from your collar and push you against a wall to kiss you and the other second you are just a friend to me. Sometimes my heart doesn't race at all and the other second my heart is woo woo. I've known you for a long time yet I freaking get nervous sometimes What the hell is going on with me?" He didn't notice the way he was talking till it was obvious how everyone got caught in the conversation. He released a sigh and pushed his glass aside
"I need one more drink."
fidenx reblogged
gravesradium: When the Titan’s clashed, the world went into turmoil. When the Gods fought, the world went into chaos. When the Deities bicker, the world barely cared. It wasn’t the deities fault, but the Human’s that suffered the lack of faith, belief and passed down knowledge of Gods, Beasts and Demons. It was afterall, never proven of their existance and that, was enough to claim what one can not see, to be not real. Then; do tell – what is it that Human’s are claimed to be, when they do state upon seeing smething of the Supernatural? Speak of being spoken and guided by a God? Or witness an act of a Beastial Demon? Crazy. Human’s damn one another within moments of flickered proof; calling themselves mentally damaged, sent to buildings where electro-therapy to aid with their recovery. What horror. And to think seeing a God, Deity or Beast was to be a blessing in the days of old; the sight upon the human’s today must of meant that thousands upon thousands were slowly falling into the rabbit hole. For now, above one certain human’s head a clash of talon and flames were mixing with the clouds. Metal, of golden glow shattered under the foot of a bird; whilst a hand balled upon seconds to swing into the face of another winged being. With a earth shattering rattle, the Prince landed upon his talons, crushing the other being under himself as he fanned out his tail feathers rather threateningly. It radiated heat that singed the grasses below him; melted plastic and caused sweat to break out on any human. But the sight was over as soon as it started. A fling of a golden spear, a shatter of a golden bracelet and a scatter of flame with feathers. The once pinned being what returning to the realm it came; whilst the victor held onto his wrist; the feeling of the gold being sliced off and his flesh gashed from the spear’s tip made his wings thin and instead coil about his back as he turned his orange optics towards the direction his jewellery piece flew in… However upon that moment; the bird-legged, two winged and tail-feathered being of an abnormal heat stood and stared upon the one species he wished not to be revealed before… and one, that had foolishly; just done something against all deity lore. “Don’t touch that, yo!” Don’t pick it up! Don’t!
Gods…
What a strong word.
Believing in supernatural and higher power was never his thing. He knew that something created him left him on this planet. Something with limitless power created this world but that didn't mean that he accepted that. The existence of something so strong was a result of a human's deduction. Humans couldn't live without believing that such a thing existed and it was going to protect them. It was something in human's nature, to desire protection, safety and other stupid proofs that they were going to be okay when they face shit.
"Damn why am I suddenly thinking of this topic?"
Eren forced his own thoughts to shatter, he was sure that thinking about this was nothing but waste of energy. IF gods really did exist then the world wouldn't be in a chaos, his parents would be alive. Not that he really cared or blamed gods or anything. What happened, happened. He wasn't going to keep on standing and crying over shit he couldn't change. His feet were carrying him towards no exact place.. He was just wandering like a stray cat.
He was lucky that night finally came, his favorite time of the day. The only time he could be alone with his thoughts. Feeling the calm breath against himself always managed to soothe him and give him enough power to keep on fighting, because life is for the living. That was the reason why he was out right now, having a walk with no specific directions in his head.
Just like the usual. But It wasn't going to stay like the usual forever.
The brunet had a favorite spot he liked to stay in and watch the sky from, and lucky for him that his feet carried him towards that place. It was just the bank of the river, a ground invaded by grass and slightly windy. Nothing unusual about all this, right? Well it was supposed to be this way till his orbs caught sight of something strange. A golden feather, It was reflecting the moon light as if it was really made of gold. Looked so beautiful… Looked so…. Well maybe he should pick up and take it to the police; maybe one of the rich ladies dropped it…
That as well wouldn't be considered unusual if you give it a little thought.
Things were normal till something else caught his attention… A voice… Eren turned around to see the source of it, he didn't expect to see such a beautiful human being. A tall guy with a healthy body or that's how it seemed, his hair had similar color to the feather … How could such a human exist? How could such a human have such a white skin like snow? The teenager almost forgot how to blink till he was forced to. For a second all he could think about was this person. Then he forced himself out of his thoughts for the second time just grab the feather.
"What the…" The feather was so soft against his fingertips; unexpectedly he thought it must be made of gold so it would be hard. His facial expression didn't fail him in expressing his confusion, though he ignored it and looked the other guy in the eyes "Is this yours? Chill dude, I wasn't going to take it y' know? Here you can take it back …"
Credit: X
“Well siiiir…” for fuck’s sake what was the drink that Hanji gave him? Why did he feel as if he was floating in the sky? And why was he talking about the crush thing? “Hanji told me to ask you so just tell me the truuuth.”
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fracturedmorals: That was the question of the ages, how could something so volatile turn into something softer, more affectionate? When had arguing at the drop of a hat turned into something that made it so hard to breathe, to contain himself? That circled the blond’s head every day after their classes. If they didn’t argue about assignments, it was about who got to sit next to the window. Tiny petty arguments about daily things, that’s what couples did, did they? He didn’t know when he started to feel that way about the smaller. Every time they went out to a party together, he just wanted to stick close, make sure no one strayed close enough. But he was just a half hearted wing man, right…a friend at best. Though he had to try once, that’s what he told himself. One kiss and maybe these feelings would go away, one kiss and he could put this behind him. THough it’d be more than one kiss, with that electric passion surging through him at just the barest hint of those slick lips against his. He wanted nothing more than to pull him close and kiss him breathless, to let this lips battle physically than verbally. He had to leave, he had to fucking leave. He fucked up, he fucked up so much. He wasn’t supposed to kiss him in the middle of an argument, especially in the middle of the pouring rain, it was going to be special and possibly romantic. It just wasn’t supposed to be this. He paused as he heard his name called out, then he was forcibly turned around, golden hues wide as he spoke. Why had Jaeger let him kiss him of all things? He was expecting a punch, something colliding into his gut or into the side of his face. "I-” He didn’t get anything out as those lips pressed against his, body stiffening up before he melted against him. Strong arms wrapped around the smaller’s frame, holding him tightly against his chest as he kissed him back. His kiss was something born of greed and gluttony, starting off soft but progressively pressing harder against those glorious lips. One hand reached up to cup his face, then the other, pressing his cheeks between his palms as he pulled back. He gave him a small crooked grin before pressing their foreheads together. “Sorry Jaeger, don’t think I can give you that back…hope I can maybe make it up with more kisses?” He asked hesitantly, not sure if that kiss was a fluke or not.
Show me what you can do.
Force me out of my stupid walls and own me.
Eren wanted to say this. No!! His heart wanted to say this, he had this chance on a golden plate then why… why was he stepping back?!!! Why was his mouth gaped? Why did everything freeze suddenly? Why was the sky still cloudy? Yeah, right… Because this was nothing but a guilty pleasure, he was just caught up in the heat of the moment. Allowing himself to enjoy what he promised himself not to touch.
IT wasn't Jean's fault…
It was his fault.
How could he forget that he promised himself not to fall in love? How could he forget that he promised himself not to get in any kind of relationships after Levi's death? True they are now eighteen years old… Two years have passed since he lost his first boyfriend but how could he betray himself! How could he betray the guy he loved so much? How could he allow himself to fall for Jean and let his lips kiss anyone else but Levi?!
Did he forget that easily about what the raven told him that night, that he was going to save his first kiss till he was eighteen… Now he was eighteen but he has lost it to someone…someone who wasn't Levi.
"…I'm sorry Jean."
Orbs directed towards the ground, he could only see his soaked shoes. He couldn't look the blond in the eyes, he couldn't voice the words because he was busy being caught up in a war. The war between his mind and heart, the war that he was going to lose "That kiss… The kiss we shared right now. We gotta stop. No we must stop. We must stop because… you know I can't do this. I can't allow you to have this and I can't allow myself to have this. Not when I couldn't protect Levi."
Why was the sun shining? Why was his body trembling? Why was he facing a blocked path! It was all because he allowed himself to open up again. Screw this… Screw everything… "I gave you something that was supposed to be his…. Not only this… Jean…" What? What was that sliding on his face? Maybe just few rain drops right? He wasn't crying right? Then why was Jean's face getting blurry? Why were his eyes soaked with water? He didn't cry since the day his lover died "Jean…I'm falling in love with you and I can't let that happen. Not again…"
Just before the first drop of tear fell he rubbed his eyes and stepped backwards, turning his back to the taller one "Consider this as if it never happened."
Hello guys,
sorry for taking long to write this post. I'm finally back to roleplaying. I'm still on semi-hiatus but I'll do replies and try to log in daily. I'll get to my replies tomorrow if god wishes. I'm willing to rp with whoever. feel free to drop something in my ask if you wanna interact. Thanks!
↳ Levi, trust us. Alright, I’ll trust you.
fracturedmorals
How could a stupid argument turn into this?
How could a simple argument over who should carry the stupid umbrella turn into this?!
Those two questions played over and over in Eren's head, just like a broken radio. His eyes were wide open, he didn't give a single fuck about the rain soaking him like a puppy. He didn't give a single fuck about thunder attacking the sky above him. He was too busy, too busy to even breathe. Something has snatched his mind away from his body rendering him mercilessly. Leaving him under the control of his emotions… Leaving him confused, craving for more.
He knew it, deep down the brunet knew it. He knew that Jean wasn't just a friend to him. Jean was more than that. That's why he made stupid arguments every time he saw him with Marco, he wanted to steal his attention. No, He wanted to be the center of the attention not just stealing it! But how could he admit it? There was no way in this hell he was going to step on his pride and give in to the calls of his heart. He loved Jean…
Thoughts were forced shut as the heat was fading away from his lips. The fire burning his mouth was gone leaving it gaped, it hasn't been a second yet he was missing it. The kiss was like a wake up call but now it was gone. It woke his heart up then shot it dead. His eyes were hidden under his sticky bangs, body frozen in its place. He knew he had to do something. Anything before Jean was gone…
The sound of rushing rain was calling him out to move, but the beats of his heart was way louder. Something else stopped him from moving; it wasn't that he didn't want to. He couldn't!! Yeager's body was all drugged, falling into state of dizziness. Maybe he could use this as a perfect excuse not to call out for the thing he wanted, just maybe.
"JEAN!"
There was no time for maybes. There was no time for him to fall asleep. That wasn't him, he was a fighter, he was a champion and right now he wouldn't give a flying fuck about his pride. Nails digging in his palm as his right hand clenched into a fist. The teenager ran as fast as his feet could carry him towards his source of confusion, pain, desire…
Hand reaching out to grab the end of the other's shirt, he forced Jean to turn around just to move his hands quickly in order to grab the collar "DO YOU think I'll let you go after what you did?" He was angry on the other hand, surprisingly he was happy "Give me back what you stole from me… My first kiss you asshole." Front teeth were forcing his lower lip to bleed, that was his only way to make his pride step aside. It was now or never…
Eren closed his eyes and placed a kiss on the lips he was craving gently not caring that the sun was already making its way through the clouds… Maybe the nature was being on his side…just maybe.