Guardians doing stuffs and things 

Also hi :)

How do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humor

I was wondering where this was going and lemme tell you I fell out of my chair

I don’t know what ‘that moment’ refers to… but ‘elspeth dabs’ inspired this…

bringing this back for good vibes

Ranom post reblog!

i just had the funniest experience in vr chat, i joined a random server and the one i joined had Japanese people so i waddled around in my goofy club penguin avatar that i have saved, after a while a guy walks up to me and clones my avatar so were both penguins then another guy shows up and clone my avatar

now keep in mind there only speaking Japanese i don’t know what they are saying, then another guy joins in, so i got a group of three penguin friends

we just waddle around and goof about, the one of them tries to talk to me, but not only do i not have a mic i also don’t speak Japanese, they figure out i don’t speak Japanese and start listing various places, they get the part of being European right, and after listing a lot of places they ask if im from the UK and when i nod they all just start cheering. after hanging out for a while one of them gets real close to me and whispers…

“penguin brothers forever”

Polar Vortex spills Arctic weather into North America

What in the world is a polar vortex? On Earth, it’s a large area of low pressure and extremely cold air that usually swirls over the Arctic, with strong counter-clockwise winds that trap the cold around the Pole. But disturbances in the jet stream and the intrusion of warmer mid-latitude air masses can disturb this polar vortex and make it unstable, sending Arctic air south into middle latitudes.

That has been the case in late January 2019 as frigid weather moves across the Midwest and Northern Plains of the United States, as well as interior Canada. Forecasters are predicting that air temperatures in parts of the continental United States will drop to their lowest levels since at least 1994, with the potential to break all-time record lows for January 30 and 31. With clear skies, steady winds, and snow cover on the ground, as many as 90 million Americans could experience temperatures at or below 0 degrees Fahrenheit (-18° Celsius), according to the National Weather Service (NWS).

The Goddard Earth Observing System Model above shows this air temperature movement at 2 meters (around 6.5 feet above the ground) from January 23-29. You can see some portions of the Arctic are close to the freezing point—significantly warmer than usual for the dark of mid-winter—while masses of cooler air plunge toward the interior of North America.

Meteorologists predicted that steady northwest winds (10 to 20 miles per hour) were likely to add to the misery, causing dangerous wind chills below -40°F (-40°C) in portions of 12 states. A wind chill of -20°F can cause frostbite in as little as 30 minutes, according to the weather service.

Not sure how cold that is? Check out the low temperatures on January 30, 2019 in some of the coldest places on Earth—and a planetary neighbor:

 -46°F (-43°C) – Chesterfield, Newfoundland

-36°F (-33°C) – Yukon Territory, Canada

-33°F (-27°C) – Fargo, North Dakota (Within the Polar Vortex)

-28°F (-18°C) – Minneapolis, Minnesota (Within the Polar Vortex)

-27°F (-33°C) – Amundsen-Scott South Pole Station, Antarctica

-24°F (-31°C) – Chicago, Illinois (Within the Polar Vortex)

-15°F (5°C) – Barrow, Alaska 

-99°F (-73°C) – Mars

Learn more about the science behind the polar vortex and how NASA is modeling it here: https://go.nasa.gov/2Wtmb43.

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space: http://nasa.tumblr.com

My fiancee and I were discussing the worst metal to use to make armor, and the obvious answers are lead and gold, but she cunningly suggested mercury. Which is a fair point, but then I wondered if solid mercury is any good. Googling told me that the melting point of mercury is -38° c (-37° f), so first you get it really fucking cold. At that point, it turns out that mercury has a tensile strength of 1900 mpa, compared to lead’s 18 and steel’s ~500-940 (depending upon the kind of steel).

Now, I know that tensile strength is not necessarily the best measure of a material’s ability to function as armor, but I’m a liberal arts major and didn’t care to actually do that much more research before going straight to, “EVIL ICE DEMONS IN MERCURY ARMOR. THE PCS CAN’T LOOT IT BECAUSE WHEN THEY PUT IT ON IT MELTS AND KILLS THEM.”

Ice Demons wielding weapons made of frozen mercury.  Spearheads that break off & melt inside the target.  Swords that leave tiny bits of melted mercury inside the wound (the swords re-freeze to razor sharpness while in the ice demon’s claws).

Item: blades, spears, and/or arrowheads made of mercury frozen by Ice Magic; can only be used by one with Ice Magic, but deliver whatever damage the weapon type would normally make plus equal amounts of Cold and 1d8 Poison. Once the wound has been delivered, it continues to deliver 1d8 Poison until the mercury has been removed by healing magic, Wish, &c.

In theory you could use mercury loot drops for other purposes (depends on how your setting deals with uses of poisonous items in magic rituals) but holy heck this sounds like a cool idea.

help i accidentally created a cleric with a -1 to religion checks how the fuck did i even do that

“hey i just realized, we’ve been on this trip for weeks and i’ve never really seen you praying” “eh, yeah, i mostly only do that sort of stuff at greengrass and midsummer” “…. sharindlar literally gives you magical powers. you have a magical tattoo.” “yeah she’s cool, she knows i’m busy”

religion checks are more about knowledge regarding deities than devotion

“don’t worry, guys, sharindlar will smite the shit outta anyone we need smote, that’s what she’s all about!”

“… isn’t she an avatar of mercy and life?”

“she’s an avatar of shut the hell up”

Character with skill sets that don’t match their class are my favorite thing

When I first started playing Pathfinder I thought “craft” meant like “watercraft” and I gave a ton of it to my Barbarian so I wouldn’t be useless running with the two pirates in our group.

Mid game my DM was like “No… Like… Arts and crafts.”

And I was like “Fuck it he knits, is there any yarn on the ship?”

DM: *Rolls dice* … *Looks up* This shipment is nothing but yarn.

Me: I’m going to knit a sweater.

DM: What’s your craft score again? *Looks at page*………………. Don’t even roll…

DM: So you all pull into port wearing sweaters beautifully knitted by our goddamned Barbarian.

Ragtag group of scoundrels & assassins: Yay!

i generally don’t reblog this post much because if i did that for every example someone reblogged this with i’d spam everyone’s feed, but i love this

meirl

A real good voice line from Forsaken

TYPE: Ghost Shell Recording

DESCRIPTION: Crucible Announcement

LOCATION: Earth, Exodus Blue

//AUDIO AVAILABLE//

//RECORDING FOLLOWS//

[Cayde-6] Okay, listen up children. Shaxx lost, again, which means that today, I am the Crucible. Here are the rules: first of all, no Warlocks. Just leave. Go on! Yep, that’s right - yes, you. I’m looking right at you. I can see you, and you’re not -

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] Ikora, I….fine. Fine! Fair point. Belay that order. Warlocks can stay. Okay, where was I? Right. First rule, take two: every time you die, you finish your drink.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] What’s that?

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] What do you mean they don’t have drinks? Sweet mercy, no wonder Shaxx is always grumpy. Okay, let’s start over. First rule, take three: everyone needs a drink to hold.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] Yes, the entire time.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] Yes, I know that means you only get one hand for your gun. Ikora, was I not clear that I am the Crucible today? Not you, not Zavala, me. Shaxx and I had a deal, and you are not allowed to ruin this.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] No, I did not cheat.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] Will you stop backseat Shaxx-ing me?

[silence]

[silence]

[silence]

[Cayde-6] A-hem. Second rule: you die, you finish your drink. Third rule: if you spill your drink, you have to spin in a circle for thirty seconds and then get a new one. Fourth rule: every time I say ‘Yahtzee!’ everybody everywhere has to finish their whole drink.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] Huh? No, it doesn’t happen on a timer. I yell ‘Yahtzee’ whenever I feel like it.  And of course they can keep shooting while they’re drinking. Anyway, here’s the deal: You get a kill, you take a sip. You get a headshot, you take two. You knife someone’s face, you finish your drink. The best taunt gets extra points, and, uh…hm.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] Ikora, that’s a great idea. Yes, Sparrow kills count double. If you get killed by a Sparrow, finish your drink and maybe lie down for a while. Any questions? Didn’t think so. And you, Titan, with the two drinks and no guns: I like your style.

[incoherent mumbling]

[Cayde-6] A send-off? Right you are, Ikora.

[glass clinking]

[Cayde-6] Bottoms up, Guardians.

[Inspired by @thexostranger‘s post]

Artist: Julien Desroy Title: Samus Aran “My take on Samus Aran from Metroid.” Outstanding…

The real gen z aesthetic is having a vague memory of Maisy mouse in the back of your head that you’ve completely forgotten about until you see a picture of her and you’re suddenly teleported back to 1999

Berkeleymews dump

Credit: twitter | facebook | tumblr | instagram

Every single one of these is pure gold.

My wife and I were were talking the other day and, I don’t remember what we were even talking about, but the idea came up that we would need an oreo for. I joked about getting one from my secret stash. This is where she made her mistake. She said “oh right, like you could have an Oreo stash without me knowing about it.”

I’m sorry?

That’s a challenge.

Oreos aquired.

I’m going to hide them in a super simple place at first

But be sure to follow this post while I chronicle all the ways and places I hide them and also how I plan on taunting her with cookies while she can’t find the package

She is out of the house for a moment so it’s time to enjoy a few cookies

And find a new hiding spot

Hehehe

They up there

Normally I’m a Oreos with milk kinda guy, but I’ll take coffee if coffee is available

Now to hide them right under her nose

She never looks under the TV for anything. Tonight when we are watching Halloween Wars I’ll have a big dopey grin on my face

Time to up the stakes. It was fun having em here and hiding them around her while she didn’t know what was happening. Bit now it’s time for her to be in on the game she is playing

Four cookies packed in her lunch. Game on

I’ve been cleaning house today and feeling like I’ve done a pretty good job. Time to reward myself with some delicious Oreos

Aaaaand put them where she would never find them in a million years

:)

Got up early this morning and helped pack everyone’s lunch. Pulling a damn Oprah over here

You get some cookies! You get some cookies! Everyone gets cookies!

Then a devious idea struck me…

I put the remaining Oreos in a baggie to hide by themselves. Now to “hide” the package where it will probably be found…

And pin the actual stash to the inside of the closet wall

If you two weren’t already married I’d beg you to marry her because you two are obviously perfect for each other and I love this post with all my heart

This guy’s dopey grin at his success at hiding oreos is exactly what I’m here for

You like that eh? Well you are going to love today’s installment

Look at that. So sad. So few Oreos left

Guess I’ll just pin em right to the middle of the wall in the middle of the living room. She’ll never find em there

Oh, guess I should put this back up

Bwa ha ha ha! You guys! You guys don’t understand! I was planning on doing this and when I got home and looked at it I was like “aww, it’s too thin. They won’t fit.” I even TOLD my wife this and how I was disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to hide them back there.

But then I looked again. They dooooo

Thank you all so much for the love. I knew y'all would like this, but I had no idea you would like it THIS MUCH. People calling us “goals” and stuff… Man…. It’s kinda hard to take in ya know? Anyways: if this post gets Over 9000™ before I get off work today I will pick up Halloween Oreos on my way home and this will not stop

And, as promised, a dopey grin

Twasnt easy to get the stupid video to load. But I got it and I recommend giving it a watch here: http://keepcalmandcarrieunderwood.tumblr.com/post/179330357103

She is so happy that the Oreo Saga continues. Just look at how happy she is

Came home to find this

But she never looked inside the blue chair

Good stuff, but it’s time for some cookies

Gotta have some while I think about where these guys are going next

Hmmmmm

Got it.

Ohmygosh oh. my. gosh. You guys. Near disaster. Check this shiz out:

Wife and I were sewing Elly’s Halloween costume up

Yea, she is going to be a spider and it’s super cute and all but. But. Loooook

Holy actual shit the Oreos fell out from the table literally next to her.

The moment she got up I threw them into the closet

Also:shout out to whoever it was that lost a follower for this post

Sry bout that eh.

Long, but worth it.

That’s what she said

SO ANYWAYS in honor of Halloween, the oreos have been moved to the Christmas decorations.

I figure I COULD leave them there till thanksgiving. We’ll see if I feel the need to move them again before then

Fa la la la la sucka

Happy Halloween

You guys wanted an update and I am finally ready. I have been thinking of a great place to hide em and I think I finally have an epic place. Just gotta go get em

Uh.

Well.

This wasn’t part of today’s plan.

Oh my god… This post just keeps getting better and better.

You should start looking for them.

Hmmmm maybe I should. Okay

Found em!

Ahhhh ok

Yo. What’s up.

Got some separated and ready for lunches tomorrow morning.

Lets see you find em in here babe

Oh, also

Matt utterly destroying the Rules Lawyer round of Um, Actually

(The game was to point out all of the incorrect things in a single round of combat shown in a comic)