“I am the alpha walrus. All the other walruses tremble before me.”
“That’s not the weirdest thing I’ve crawled under. ”
“I’d apologize for being the worst ever but I’m not sorry.”
“I’m single and ready to single. ”
“My favorite part about this is the dumpy cube. ”
“I belong in sad headcanon jail.”
“It’s like ‘study this boat that sank except you can’t see it because it’s not
there’. ”
“They were the one that cussed me out when I revealed my secret identity. ”
“Well, I scared some kids and got a 3 dollar burrito. All in all, not a bad Halloween.”
“I hope there’s a fan of cuteness here.”
“I’m so high and I don’t even drink.”
“Young man. There’s a way to be cool, I said young man. Throw yourself in that pool.”
“This is my official Bad Decision of the week.”
“Come look at this angst I drew.”
“I read fanfiction during my prom, but never at a home football game. ”
“Oh great. Now we’re quoting Galaxy Quest.”
“Your armadillo is on fire.”
“This is a cactus party!”
“When they found us, we were high on paint fumes and screaming about the blood of our enemies.”
“This picture is so bad. I could be my own twin brother.”
[text] I procrastinated sleep so In not getting up beforb like 9 ok?
[text] Also I am Thor I can carry the heck out of that fridge
[text] Thought that bike was a man
[text] he is a man now
[text] No I am desperate/lazy
[text] You have the honor of naming it, Ghost Mom
