This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks. Literally, I’ve never been this funny in my entire goddamn life

a gem, this is a god damn gem

shout out to my incoherent bitches!! shout out to all the babes out there who dont make no fuckin sense!!!

when your battery is at 41% so you feel mildly comfortable but also a little antsy

If your eyeball is floating in the green fluid in a beaker on the shelf in the background in the witchs hut you may be entitled to financial compensation

Someone needs to make a monster fucker and furry scale where the Monster Fucker side is the plant from Little Shop of Horrors and the Furry side is the tigers from zootopia

so heres my take on this

Thank you

where’s the skeletons

i added a whole nother axis for this

OASKRJJSJSJENE THIS IS A LOT BETTER

where do the angry birds land?

if you get off on angry birds then you land in hell

any time u like a boy juss know u played yourself always keep that stored in ya mind for later

remember when Britney Spears dropped the Da Vinci code on all of us almost 8 years ago… the time she sneaked “F-U-C-K ME” into the radio

SHIT

I just want to get dicked down again =/

DOG SANCTUARY HORNY ON MAIN

Sing me the song of your people SOUP! meow! Sing me the song of your friends SOUP! meow! Sing me a song for the good times SOUP! meow! Sing me a song, a song. HEY SOUP! meeeeoooow!

Is…is this cat’s name soup?

His full name is “Soupy Bonjour”.

We call him “Soup” for short.

Not a day passes where I don’t embarrass myself but it’s ok because I’m on the path to destroy my ego so I won’t be embarrassed anymore

The older I get the more I think everything is bullshit

Spirited Away isn’t a movie it’s an emotion

Dr James Barry, the first doctor to perform a successful C section wherein both mother and child survived, was a huge champion of handwashing at a time when most doctors didn’t wash their hands. For this reason, many of the chilldbirths he delivered resulted in healthier babies and mothers. He was also a gay trans man, who specifically wrote that upon his death he wished for his body to be taken in its nightshirt, wrapped in his sheets as a shroud, and placed into the coffin so that nobody would see his body. His wishes were not respected, and as a result he was outed at his death.

i’ve also been informed he had a poodle. He named his poodle Psyche. I’d just like to congratulate him on being an excellent human being, who not only pioneered modern medicine but also had good taste in dogs. that is all.

types of responses to this post

He was also reportedly quite the ladies’ man, and he’d apparently carried a child to term and gave birth.

he’s one of my favorite historical figures and ive read a lot on him including the biography Scanty Particulars by Rachel Holmes. a lot of the details of his life are difficult to figure out, partly cause he was very private and partly cause he had so many rumors surrounding him. here are some of my fave facts about him:

-he was very concerned with protecting poor people, women and people of color, aka all the people most of upper class british society at the time cared the least about. he worked to reform prisons and hospitals in south africa at risk to his own career, and also improved the conditions under which poor enlisted british soldiers and their families lived

-he was kind of a known hothead. he was rumored to have fought at least one duel (probably not true though). florence nightingale hated him even though they had similar ideas about medicine because they had such a clash of personalities in the brief time they worked together

-he was a vegetarian and took a goat with him on sea voyages so he could always have fresh milk

-even though he had an abrasive personality and made a lot of enemies, his patients, especially the women, really loved him because they felt like he knew what he was doing and actually cared about their health

-he died poor because the british army ripped him off >:/

edit i almost forgot the best thing. he didn’t just have one poodle named psyche. he had a bunch. when one died he would get a new poodle and name that one psyche too

“i thought your poodle died?”

“psyche!” [poodle comes trotting in]

this is the best response

For any of those confused with twenty one pilots

Let me explain. This gonna be a long one so buckle in, babes. 

Last night, a new gif was put in the vessel section of the TOP store. As the end of the gif was this image with a website link

If you follow the link, it sends you to a site with this error message

Take note that the captalized letters spell out EAST IS UP- we’ll get to that later. If you put the violation code in the link, it sends you to a site with several pictures. Let’s start with this one

Again, that weird message about east is up. Also take note of ‘the compass lies’, important for later. What is this, you’re wondering? Well, it’s a dema, otherwise known as a tower of silennce, otherwise known as a place where corpses were left so that vultures could pick them clean. Below is am outline of a dema

What’s more is that the numbers in the upper corner correspond to the vessel release date. You’ll also notice that the nine circles in the middles of this particular dema look suspiciously similar to the blurryface cover art. Again, we’ll get to this later. Let’s move on to the other images, each of which corresponds with another album.

Notice the numbers in the upperhand corner. Those are a date, specifically the date self titled was released. Moreover, the birds picture are sitting in a row, so you could call them an isle of flightless birds. There’s also twenty one of them.

Again, the numbers in this image are the release date of regional at best. There’s also a child in the picture, as in the RAB cover art.

Next is this one. It seems to suggest some sort of prisoner escape, from a dema. The numbers in this one are Tyler’s birth date. Also, the white symbols in the black box look like the bottom half of the fairly local image- the few, the proud, the emotional. Also, death eaters are another word for vultures, because, ya know.

Now, hang on, because this is where things get complicated. Here’s the final image

If you look it up you can get a readable quality, but basically it goes on about how this guy Clancy was working and staying in the dema, and had realised in his ninth year that it wasn’t good for him. It’s been nine years since TOP formed. Again, the scrawled words on this one say east is up, but also west is blocked. 

Now, remember how the middle of the dema looked like the blurryface cover art? lets zoom in on that

Notice the letters. Well, the lovely @thunderrmufin on twitter pointed out that the letters surrounding each circle correspond to a line in a song from blurryface.

Now, remember all that shit about the compass lies and east is up? Well, keep in mind I’m having trouble with a source for this next image, but it appears that someone found the missing piece of the map

Even if this image is faked, the way the compass is styled - with north up- is the standard for maps. Now, if you turn the map so that east is up, the circles with the letters correspond to the songs in the blurryface art that those letters are from.

Think that’s all? You are quite mistaken. Not only do those letters around the circle correspond to lyrics, if you type “andre lisden keons nigo reisdro sacarver nills vetomo listo” into google translate, it’s Luxembourgish for “ In other words, there is a list of other keywords”. You can fact check that, I’m not gonna screen shot it. Now, let’s focus on the word Andre specifically. If you go to Andre Weil’s wikipedia page, his picture includes the boy that was attached to the vessel image from before.

Now, what was he known for? A bunch of things, but specifically for inventing the empty set symbol TOP is so fond of

What does all of this mean? Well, no idea. But they’re definitely active, as fueled by ramen has officially relisted them as such. Note that all of these websites, while leading to the same place, either generate an error image or simply a blank image. However, they were at one point up and running, and it was the gif from TOP that led to them. I’ll try to keep this updated, if you have anything else, feel free to add on.

P.S.- there’s rumors of a youtube channel with the violation code as it’s name going around, and it does have weird videos, but we’re 95% sure it’s fake

P.P.S.- they did all this on the twenty first, the nerds.

This tree makes の sense.

*spits coffee*

Are you fucking kidding me.

#For the people who don’t know:#The character ‘の’ is pronounced as ‘no’#Also the tree is shaped like の#’This tree makes no sense.’#You’re welcome.

tHANK YOU, sCIENCE SIDE,

Actually that’s the language side—Japanese language, to be exact. We’re still waiting to hear from the science side of Tumblr as to how and why a tree would grow in this manner.

Trees grow in the direction of light, so clearly this tree had light in a strange loopy pattern during growth.

Plant follow light, light make loopy loop, plant go loopy loop.

thank u science side

Thanks language and science side, that was cool. -em

Maybe it’s me - but I just don’t understand why we have to deconstruct the tree doing its own thing.  Let tree be tree.  No explanations needed.

i’m so sorry for being a customer, i want  to leave you alone but sometimes i have to buy things or eat. please understand i use self checkout whenever i can 

*hits the bong* ya know……i used to be a smart kid . i was so f ucking smart man. i can’t even read anymore dude