Cover I did for AltraViolet’s Face the Past fanfiction

Available here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15054602/chapters/34900733

For AltraViolet on AO3. Based, or to-be-based, on their fic, The Echo Garden : )

Nothing showing but steamy things a-happenin’?

made a crab out of paper,, life is good

u too can make a crab out of paper,, love u

@initforthecache

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

I am in love with you /p

You’ve been sentenced to 400 years for multiple murders. It’s been 399 years and your jailers are starting to get nervous.

I was twenty… twenty-five, I think?… when I was sentenced. Four hundred years was a length of time I couldn’t even imagine. It was a length of time I don’t think anyone could imagine, even the judge. It was just a big showy number that let everyone know I’d never see the light of day again. The mages who cast the spells were dramatic about it, practically shouting the part about ‘until death claims you, or four hundred years hath passed, forsooth, thou shalt be imprisoned here’. They don’t waste that kind of magic on most prisoners, but I was special.

The Slayer, they called me then. The Monster of Sentan. I’d killed nineteen people… I remember that number because I was so furious that they stopped me so close to my goal of twenty-one. And I didn’t just kill ordinary people, no, but the Chosen of the Gods. The Great and Good. They were terrified of me. So they locked me away, to die forgotten.

It had been a little less than a hundred years when the king died without heir, and a civil war tore the country apart. When the fighting was all over, the losers were dragged down to the deepest cells under the castle, and the new king and his soldiers stopped and stared at me. “Who… who is this?” he asked, frowning. “Some victim of the usurper?”

People like cooks and jailers and scrubbers don’t change as easily as kings. The same man who’d been bringing me my meals since there was still brown in his hair and beard shuffled forward, hunched and grey now. “No, yer majesty,” he said humbly. “That be a special prisoner, from before the old king died.”

“Special? Special how?” He frowned, moving closer to my cell. “The old king died more than ten years ago. This woman must have been a child then. What could she have done to - “

“Don’t get too close, yer majesty,” the old man said sharply. “That’s the Monster of Sentan… an’ she bites.”

That was true. I do bite.

Keep reading

M I N E

Have An Evil Day

No prompt this time, just a sequel to ‘Welcome To Evil-Mart’

Working at Evil-Mart is usually… well, it’s retail. It’s physically exhausting, you have to deal with a lot of idiots without being overtly rude, and your feet hurt. Even though the hours and pay are very good, the benefits are great, and our bosses treat us well compared to most retail employees, it’s still not what I’d call a fun job.

But it’s not what I’d call dull, either. Especially not on days like today.

I was promoted to supervisor after the Food Poisoning Incident, so I have a little more authority and a little less obligation to be pleasant and I got issued a weighted cosh because sometimes Evil-Mart customers get… feisty. I’d never had to use it, though, because those who hadn’t seen what I did to Majority Rules, either in person or on one of the cell-phone videos that circulated afterwards, had at least heard about it.  They didn’t give me any trouble.

I was halfway through my shift, and the worst things that’d happened had been running out of croissants and a machine oil spill in Aisle Seven, when our greeter pressed the alarm button, which sent an alert to my handset. As front-end supervisor, that meant me, so I went over. Sam, who is unusual in the henching community for having actually aged out rather than ‘being retired’ jerked his chin in the direction of a tall, swaggering figure. “He just came in,” he whispered.

I did a full double-take before I took it in. Superdyne. Fucking Superdyne.

We’d all heard about his dramatic heel-turn a couple of months ago. The whole world had heard about it. Superdyne, who’d skated closer and closer to the line for years, had decided to cross it in a blaze of bloodshed. He was a villain now, he said. There’d been a whole speech about how ingratitude had driven him to it blah blah blah.

I work at Evil-Mart. I’m from a hench family. If someone becomes a supervillain because they hate Mondays or want to turn us all into dinosaurs or whatever, I don’t judge. I will sell depth-charges and laser guns to anyone who can prove they’re over eighteen without hesitation. But even we get kind of grossed out by the ‘I am forced to turn evil because I haven’t been given enough love’ thing. People who are actually so fucked up by emotional abuse or neglect or some superhero killing their family, we’re fine with them. But they don’t say that’s why they do it, and most of them need a lot of therapy to even realize it. People who actually say that’s why are entitled dickwads.

And now the dickwad had walked into Evil-Mart like he was entitled. Like he thought he was one of us.

Keep reading

Evil-Mart provides a vast array of tools and gadgets that is essential for the common villain-of-the-week. You work as a cashier there. Unfortunately all your coworkers mysteriously called in sick today, so you alone have to handle the long line of increasingly disgruntled customers.

Everyone has that one story about the time EVERYONE called in sick and they had to work a shift totally alone. Mine was a little different, though.

See, I work at Evil-Mart. It’s actually a really good job – benefits are top notch, pay is excellent, and management really cares about the wellbeing of employees. For good reason – most of us are, if not family, certainly part of the Family. All the staff are from the families of henchmen and minor villains. It’s easier for everyone that way.

Unfortunately, while the official ‘bad guys’ excel in many areas, catering isn’t one of them.  I don’t know why, but it’s just not something we’re good at. Anyway, there was a big team dinner for Evil-Mart one night, to celebrate the store’s tenth anniversary. And the next day, nearly the whole staff were out with food poisoning. And by nearly the whole staff, I mean … well, it went like this.

I was on the opening shift, and usually when I get there, there’s already two supervisors there. This time… nothing. The door was still locked. I knocked a few times, then called the front desk. Still nothing.

The third time I called, a voice answered that I didn’t recognize. “Who is this?”

“Rebecca Kahn, I – “

She sounded like she was about to cry. “Are you calling in sick too?”

“No, but the door’s locked and I can’t get in.”

“You’re here? At the store?”

“Yes, and I only have two minutes or I’ll be late clocking in and – “

“Wait right there! I’ll be right down!” The phone slammed down, and a couple of minutes the door swung open. “Thank God!” the woman exclaimed. I vaguely recognised her from meetings, but we’d never spoken before, but now she grabbed my hands and squeezed them as if I was a long lost friend. “Did you have a special meal last night?”

At that point, light began to dawn. “Yes. Knuckles Levy from the warehouse and I both had the kosher meal.”

Keep reading

when the heart of the card responds to your trust just right

#does this make kaiba kuzco #is kaiba gonna build kaibaland on top of Yugi’s gameshop

#can we turn kaiba into a llama

PLEASE CAN WE HAVE BAKURA AND MALIK AS YZMA AND KRONK?

#does kaiba dress in drag??

i hate you all

THIS JUST GETS BETTER AND BETTER. All I need is Grandpa as the guy who breaks Kaiba’s groove.

“You threw off my groove!”

“I’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the CEO’s groove.”

What’s next… Bakura becoming a cat?

#omg would Marik’s shoulder devil be Yami Marik?

“Don’t listen to that guy. He’s trying to lead you down the path of righteousness.”

“I’m gonna lead you down the path that rocks!”

What would that make Joey???

#Rebecca should be the wife 

#Ok Ok but Kuriboh would totally be the little squirrel >w> 

“Kurikurikuri??”

“No nonONONONONONO-”

“KURIK URIRIRHR!?”

THIS KEEPS GETTING BETTER OMFG

Ok just go ahead and redraw the movie scene by scene

So, would the jaguars be Beast-type monsters or Dragon-types?

  # The Big 5 turning into animals

“Get them!”

“Hey, I’ve been turned into a penguin. Can I go home?”

“You’re excused.”

Instead of a giant trampoline, it’s magical cylinder.

“For the last time, we did not order a Magic Cylinder!”

“You know pal, you could have told me that before I set it up.”

#would baby kaiba have blue eyes white dragon plushies?

i hate all 126,000 of you

it just keeps getting better and better. 

Top quality content on my dash

@squigglydigg

Would the two guys playing a board game be playing Dungeon Dice Monsters?

“Hey Yugi, you just missed your relatives.”

“Yeah, we just sent them up to your house.”

#Kaiba lines up all the yugioh spinoff protags in a line looking for a rival

“Hate your hair. Your hair. And your hair. Annnnd…”

“Lemme guess, you have a great personality.”

# And instead of a sewer crocodile it’s some sewer dragon thing..lol…

what about the part when Kaiba asks “Why does he even HAVE that lever in the first place?”

# The dagger on Bakura’s leg is the Millennium Rod

“Then I bet you weren’t expecting THIS.”

[SCREAMS OF HORROR]

“AHA!”

“Oh, okay.”

#So, when Kuzco gets turned into other animals, does Kaiba get turned into other monster cards, like UFO turtle and Fortress Whale since the big 5 got turned into cards?

“Don’t you say a word…”

[If you like these crossover redraws, consider buying me a coffee?] 

Oh this is delightful!

@gallusrostromegalus on the off chance no one has tagged you yet your majesty <3

I’ve been tagged in this like four times but it’s funny every time so keep doing it

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

I’ve only seen this legendary post in screenshots

You’ve been sentenced to 400 years for multiple murders. It’s been 399 years and your jailers are starting to get nervous.

I was twenty… twenty-five, I think?… when I was sentenced. Four hundred years was a length of time I couldn’t even imagine. It was a length of time I don’t think anyone could imagine, even the judge. It was just a big showy number that let everyone know I’d never see the light of day again. The mages who cast the spells were dramatic about it, practically shouting the part about ‘until death claims you, or four hundred years hath passed, forsooth, thou shalt be imprisoned here’. They don’t waste that kind of magic on most prisoners, but I was special.

The Slayer, they called me then. The Monster of Sentan. I’d killed nineteen people… I remember that number because I was so furious that they stopped me so close to my goal of twenty-one. And I didn’t just kill ordinary people, no, but the Chosen of the Gods. The Great and Good. They were terrified of me. So they locked me away, to die forgotten.

It had been a little less than a hundred years when the king died without heir, and a civil war tore the country apart. When the fighting was all over, the losers were dragged down to the deepest cells under the castle, and the new king and his soldiers stopped and stared at me. “Who… who is this?” he asked, frowning. “Some victim of the usurper?”

People like cooks and jailers and scrubbers don’t change as easily as kings. The same man who’d been bringing me my meals since there was still brown in his hair and beard shuffled forward, hunched and grey now. “No, yer majesty,” he said humbly. “That be a special prisoner, from before the old king died.”

“Special? Special how?” He frowned, moving closer to my cell. “The old king died more than ten years ago. This woman must have been a child then. What could she have done to - “

“Don’t get too close, yer majesty,” the old man said sharply. “That’s the Monster of Sentan… an’ she bites.”

That was true. I do bite.

Keep reading

sorry couldnt stop thinking abt this

Look! a magnificent and creepy fanart for my Monster! I love it so much! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

You are a supervillain who has just captured your rival’s child. Rather than being afraid, they’re begging you to let them stay.

Frankly, you’d known those idiots had had a kid for years now. You’d pretended not to, because while you’d committed a lot of atrocities in your life, you weren’t willing to face the moral quandary of whether you would knowingly kill a child just to spite its parents.

They probably thought they were being clever though, what with the blaming you for an injury you knew damn well you’d never given keeping one of them out of commission for a few months, then references to what they would ‘leave behind’ or ‘could not follow’ when in the latest death trap. One of them had accidentally pulled a pacifier out of their utility belt once, and tried to pass it off as being prepared for any young children they came across while rescuing.

Idiots.

Still, you had standards. Standards that fell somewhere past war crimes and before common decency, but they were standards.

Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post

And the update

She buttered Jorts

The outrage summed in a perfect Tweet:

We reached 383 Jazzes! I want to thank everyone for all your support and love! Special thanks to @sum​, @cluomi​, and @ Typh on Twitter for the Jazz donations! Jodie created the far most left jazz, then Typh with the middle Jazz, and Cluo on the far right! Please check them out, they are incredible artists, and most importantly, incredible people. Also thank you everyone in my discord servers + followers for tolerating the absolute BEAST/ONSLAUGHT of Jazzes. It’s been a wild ride, and thank you for all coming!!

Oh my gosh you did it!!!! 😂💀 congrats on finishing this!!

commission open!

twitter →　https://twitter.com/yum_cokeart

Skeb　→　https://skeb.jp/@yum

Commission open!!

Because of the way SSI is @obstinate-nocturna had to make this so we can get our car fixed. Anything would be a help. <3