An Updated Tumblr Bio in The Year 2019

writing tip:

if you push buttons on a keyboard, letters will appear on the screen. and with that power you can do anything

 i think it was cruel to give lightning mcqueen a foot fetish, as he lives in a world where all feet are wheels. he has nothing.

sorry i wasnt talking to you i think

sorry i do really think it’s hysterical that people like harry styles and joe jonas are out there dunking themselves desperately in glitter and wearing little glam rock outfits in an attempt to remain relevant and all gerard way has to do is show up to a gig in his autism comfort jacket, crew socks, combat boots, and a pair of 5-inch inseam shorts and the homosexuals lose their minds. it’s about the ingredient not the seasoning ladies 

a pair of tiny little shorts

Oh sweet mother that’s useful

Here’s just the template

forbidden neil the rat photos

why did we as a society stop putting gargoyles on everything. what fucking loser looked at a building and was like no actually this doesn’t need a horrid little creacher

Absolutely losing it at this reply

watching this youtube video about victorian haircare wherein the woman testing the products out inhales so much alcohol fumes she gets tipsy and that’s joining lead in everything, corsets, and doctors who cured hysteria with vibrators in “reasons why victorian women loved fainting”

me walking out of my fainting room after getting my back blown out by a medical professional face covered in lead makeup walls emerald green (also containing lead) high on the cocaine i was prescribed for allergies, tightening my corset: archibald darling i am seeing ghosts

So The Walking Dead is doing NFTs now (yeah idk LOL) and watching their extremely confused average Facebook page liker try to understand wtf that even is with cryptobros trying to explain THE BLOCKCHAIN, MAN to people’s grandmas has been my entertainment for the last half hour

all the “weird” content on tiktok feels so fabricated and performative. whereas on tumblr you’ll meet someone who will casually admit they eat paint

this sort of sums it up perfectly