head in the stars

i wish AOC's dress said WOODY ALLEN DIE BITCH

No, I'm not tired of being nice, yes I still just wanna go apeshit. These things can coexist, stop asking me.

imagine if someone messaged you like “heads up this person made a callout post about you” and then you go to check and it’s behind a paywall lmaoooo

For as much as I dislike Biden, responding to a campaign trail question of “how many genders are there?” with “at least three” is the funniest possible answer he could have given. That’s my go-to response for that question now

Hate when people are always trying to start shit like ‘yeah well I saw you in the Romulan Neutral zone!’

bitch…..what were you doing in the Romulan Neutral Zone?

of all the worlds unreliable narrators i am by far the most carnally desired

woah woah ladies, settle down...... (talking to my digestive organs)

At night I fly across the border and suck the vaccine juice out of the arms of sleeping American business majors

i told my coworker that my back hurts & he was like would u ever go to the misogynist & i was like. the what??? & he was like u know the ppl who give massages

your dad has a certain.. gnc quoi

*invisible stardew valley bubble emote pops above my head every time i see a friend/loved one*

call me by y/n

job hunting feels like what satan wanted

okay i’ll bite. what’s therapy

People are complaining that certain places are gonna start requiring a covid vaccine as if this is the first ever "mandatory" (not even) vaccine. You received like 6 vaccines when you were a baby and a couple more as you got older. Countries have been requiring yellow fever vaccines. Most schools you need certain vaccines to attend this isn't new. Immunization cards are not a new concept