The Necronomicon Ex Cupcakes

it is once again... binturong appreciation hour

interesting how the tiktokers who larp as 2014 tumblr it-girl arent brave enough to bring these back

cowards probably aren't even on house arrest

BDSM gets a bad rep as like a violent (male) dom pushing the boundaries of a reluctant (female) sub but in my experience it's a lot of subs with wildly elaborate fantasies screaming shit like "PUT MY ASS IN THE CHILI" while a new dom is like "Okay I think, we are reaching yellow for me,"

Sub: Okay so before we begin how familiar are you with the ancien régime? It's not super important but it does help contextualize this. Essentially I'd like for you to be a ravenous, semi-cannibalistic Antoine Barnave-esque figure

Dom, holding a pen and notebook: Yeah okay

sub: can you drug me and perform fucked up surgeries on my unconscious body without telling what you did

dom:

fandom hcs are like:

-shy anxious person is ace

-badass but nice girl is bi

-mean bitch is a lesbian

-bubbly extrovert girl is pan

-all men are gay (unless they're flirty in which case they're bi)

everyone in the notes is so god damn stupid this is a criticism of bi/lesbo/aphobic fandom culture you shouldn't be AGREEING with the stereotypes

I made a graph

YEAH THIS IS LITERALLY IT...

these posts have the same vibes imo 💯

and this tweet as well

this also

Just so you know, whenever we invent yet another fake fandom character, they inadvertently blink into existence, ill-formed and meaningless, only to be trapped within the hellish liminal space created by the zeitgeist of our collective consciousness.

Make room for Orangutan Johnson

You’re meeting the friend of a friend for the first time, who’s apparently an empath. When they shake your hand, they immediately rip their hand away from you.

Covered mine in sweet strawberry jam cause I value my goddamn privacy

i know that "unalive" is part of larger worrying trend of self censorship but if you really are in a situtation where you have to avoid the words "die" or "kill" the english language already has centuries worth of much better euphemisms. the iconic and perennial "six feet under"? the lovely imagery of "pushing up daisies"? "shuffle off this mortal coil"????? literally anything from the monty python dead parrot bit???? you have so many options. please try to be more creative at least

im starting to think you guys dont like it when stories make you feel things

Bruce Springsteen, Born to Run

Don't hide a good take in the tags, it's true

can’t get over how fucked the three city blocks of Baldur's Gate we explore is. vampire den, mummy lord, hag lair, no less than two cults, haunted mansion, a demon lord whoring it up, evil clowns. is the rest of the city normal. why do they have a Spirit Halloween district.

serf: 🫱🌾🌾

lord: and the rest?

serf: apologies, my lord. a rot spread o'er much of the barley

lord: a feeble excuse for such a paltry cum

serf: ..my lord?

lord: has this rot spread to your ears as well?

advisor: (leans in and whispers)

lord: 😳

serf: may i lea-

advisor: his grace will be shooting you with crossbows

Oh my god the question at the center of death note isn’t “how do we make the world a better place” it’s “if a cop’s son had the power of a god, would that be fucked up or what”

#death note doesn't have a point other than 'watch how quickly this one guy decides to be the worst person ever'#and that is because we are all actually looking at it from the perspective of ryuk#we are his shinigami buddies and he's telling us about this totally bonkers time he had on earth#ryuk: yeah i gave this guy a death note and he immediately became a megalomaniacal serial killer#ryuk: i didn't even have to suggest it like that was his FIRST thought it was great (via @andsotheuniverseended​)

Reading fetish erotica with absolutely pristine and morally upright consent and neat and tidy safer sex practices is like watching a Fast and Furious movie where they stop at every stop sign and signal for every lane change and always obey the speed limit.

encounters

@74n5n