This is no Fairytale

this sent me into a coughing fit and now my voice is gone

I have questions

To get to the other side

to restore the heart of te fiti

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Moana (2016)

me: okay, that’s enough. i can’t live like this. i gotta change my life. i gotta make moves

the world: ok here is an Opportunity

me:

THIS

lets just turn abandoned shopping malls into affordable apartments and keep the food courts and comfy palm trees and fountains and places to sit that’d be real nice

this is a fine idea tbh. who wouldn’t want to live in a nice mall???

File under: things that are actually a thing (but look super awesome and should be more of a thing):

plans for the ruins of capitalist civilisation

It’s the 63rd annual Butler Convention, and a man has just been murdered. Good news: the butler did it. Bad news: there’s about 3,733 to choose from.

Man of the moment Keanu Reeves has shown his generosity by giving away £50 million of his earnings from the Matrix sequels. The 38-year-old decided to hand over the money to the unsung heroes of the sci-fi blockbusters - the costume and special effects teams.

*fistbump*

Confirmed.  He’s also dumped millions into cancer research.  I really do love Keanu Reeves a lot.

Keanu Reeves is like the nicest person. He still lives in an apartment/flat and he gives most of his money away to charities and people who need it. He even invites some paparazzi people to sit down and eat with him when he’s at a coffee shop or restaurant. He’s such a nice person.

When I was working on the UWS, one of my delivery guys accidentally backed his scooter into a parked car in front of the restaurant. I went out to help, since the driver didn’t speak much English, and it turned out the car belonged to Keanu Reeves. He helped us pick the scooter up, and when I asked if we could exchange insurance information (because the front of the car was pretty banged up), he kept telling us not to worry about it and put his hand on the driver’s shoulder and said “I just want to make sure you’re okay, man. Are you okay?” And he was so sincere about it and so kind that I decided in that moment I would always defend Keanu Reeves at all costs. He is an excellent man.

I need to be more like Keanu Reeves because I’m evil compared to him.

“Next few centuries”

Keanu dropping hints that he is an immortal.

Stepping outside in the mornings

Truly

SIS IM RIGHT THERE WITH YOU!!!

if you donate to ACLU, tweet your receipt to Sia and she will match it up to 100k.

if you donate to CAIR, tweet your receipt to grimes and she will match it up to 10k

please add on other people/celebrities/whoever that are doing this so everyone can make the most of their donations!

Hank Green is donating $5 for every handwritten sign/message of support written to muslims/immigrants/refugees to the ACLU, so make sure to tweet those at him.

Chris Sacca is matching up to 75k if you tweet your receipt of donation to the ACLU at him.

Jack Antonoff (from fun. and Bleachers) is matching donations to the ACLU up to 20k if you tweet him your receipts.

HOOK/LINE/SINKER

you know he’s dead

i would kill somebody if they did this to me and if i went to court the judge wouldnt convict me because they would probably do the same thing 

Someday, son.

@ectology

TH E BUTTCHEEKS

@mccreefucker

when you can’t come out because it’s 2004 and the movie’s rated pg

EDIT: WHAT THE FUCK, I WAS JOKING

(source)

JINKIES GET VELMA OUT OF THE CLOSET 2K16

what does turkish delight taste like and is it worth the events that occurred in chronicle of narnia: the lion the witch and the wardrobe