Being a natural night owl in a house of natural night owls that has a job that means I can't be a night owl is the worst. What do you mean it's 3 pm and I'm dry heaving so hard that tears are streaming down my face and none of my house hold is awake to check on me?
For myself, it depends on where the nuggies are from. Most I dip in ketchup, but sometimes I'll use mayo, or the nuggies are good enough to not need dipping sauce.
Since I stopped posting as frequently, I've really fallen deep into the Swiftie fandom. I've also recently seen Quantumania. I'll probably come back and add to this later, but I present to you, Quantumania without context, Taylor Swift Edition.
I'm very disappointed that Netflix has decided not to pursue a second season of THE MIDNIGHT CLUB.
My biggest disappointment is that we left so many story threads open, holding them back for the hypothetical second season, which is always a gamble.
So I'm writing this blog as our official second season, so you can know what might have been, learn the fates of your favorite characters, and know the answers to those dangling story threads from the first season.
So for those of you who want to know what we were planning to do, here's a look at what would have been season 2!
AMESH Season 2 would open with Amesh, his glioblastoma advancing quickly. He would tell the first story of the season, but would be struggling to make it through. We'd focus on his love story with Natsuki for those first few episodes as it becomes clear that Amesh's death is imminent.
Meanwhile, Ilonka is trying to reconcile how she was fooled by Julia Jayne, all while falling further in love with Kevin, and she realizes he may be fading faster than he lets on.
Ilonka begins a serialized story in an effort to encourage him to "stay alive a little longer," like he did in season one. And the story she tells is... REMEMBER ME.
This was the thing I was most excited about for this season.
REMEMBER ME is one of my all-time favorite Pike books - it tells the story of a teenage girl who is pushed off a balcony, and awakens as a ghost. She has to navigate being a spirit while trying to solve her own murder. We would have stretched this story out over 5 episodes. We were going to use it as a vehicle for Ilonka to try to come to terms with the fact that she is going to die, and to begin to trying to wrap her head around being a ghost... but this is the coolest part... the lead character of Ilonka's story wouldn't be played by Ilonka. She'd be played by...
Anya.
Because this is how we live on, isn't it? In the minds of those we leave behind. And Ilonka would use REMEMBER ME as a way to imagine her dear friend Anya, waking up as a ghost, navigating the afterlife. And this sets up one of the best mechanisms of the show - even if a character dies, as long as they're remembered by members of the club, they live on in their stories.
As the story starts to pick up steam, though, the group will have to deal with the death of Amesh, which he greets with grace and bravery.
In his final moments, he sees someone in his room - the Janitor from the first season, as played by Robert Longstreet, who says comforting things to Amesh even though he can't respond.
In his final, final moments, the SHADOW descends upon Amesh, and he is engulfed into it, which reinforces the idea that the Shadow is DEATH...
With Amesh's death comes something that upends the entire thing: a NEW PATIENT. We didn't work out too much about who this would be, but it would be a new roommate for Ilonka. Someone taking Anya's old bed. Ilonka would find herself being initially cold to her - just as Anya was when Ilonka arrived. Even feeling like this new girl shouldn't necessarily be ushered into the Club. But of course they would develop a beautiful friendship over the course of the season. The new girl joins the club, where something else exciting is happening - Cheri is telling a story. We hadn't decided which one, but I think it might have been MONSTER.
Natsuki would be the next to die, which would be heartbreaking. And again, she would talk to the janitor just before it happened... and again, the Shadow would come in the final moments.
For Spence, though, things would take a different turn.
The advancements in HIV treatment in the late 90's would come into play, and we'd see his prognosis change. The HIV cocktail came out in Dec 1995, and we really wanted to explore that.
Spence would ride the swell of antiviral advancements, and by the end of the season, he'd no longer be classified as terminal. In the finale of season 2, Spence would leave Brightcliffe just like Sandra did in Season 1, heading off to manage his disease and live the rest of his life.
But onto the BIG MYSTERIES of the season one... here are some answers: What is up with Dr. Stanton's tattoo and bald head? Well, a few things. First, Dr. Stanton is actually the daughter of the original Paragon cult leader, Aceso. Her nickname was Athena, she wrote the Paragon journal that Ilonka found in S1. She turned on her mother and helped the kids escape, but because she was part of the cult in her teenage years, she had the tattoo.
It was her initials that Ilonka found carved into the tree in season 1 (her maiden name was Georgina Ballard, hence the G.B. that Ilonka finds carved in the tree).
She hated what her mother became, and the atrocities of the cult. She reclaimed the property after her mom was gone, and wanted to change it into a place that celebrated life. She was trying to undo her mother's legacy and leave something behind that was beautiful. She is wearing a wig at the end of S1 not because of a sinister reason, but because she is undergoing chemo. Dr. Stanton has cancer. Having helped so many people deal with disease, she now has to deal with it herself.
Her treatment would be successful, and she'd go into remission, but having to face that - while caring for the terminal kids at Brightcliffe - was going to be a very introspective arc for Stanton.
What about the Living Shadow? It's Death, right? Well... no.
At the end of the season, Kevin will die... followed shortly by Ilonka. And as she is dying, two things will happen. First, she'll find herself talking to the Janitor, played by Robert Longstreet... and she'll make a discovery.
HE is Death. And nothing to be afraid of. It turns out no one else ever saw this character. Stanton has a cleaning service, and the Nurse practitioners make up the rooms - the only people who ever saw this mysterious Janitor were the patients. He is Death, and offers them kind words before they die. Then what was the Shadow?
This is an idea we take directly from the book REMEMBER ME, and we'll see it play out in the final moments of Ilona's final tale. In Pike's book, Shari is pursued by a dark entity called The Shadow. When it finally catches her, though, it turns out it is not a bad thing at all.
The Shadow is THEMSELVES. It's the Unknown. As it engulfs someone, in the last moment of their life, it takes them through a place of understanding and catharsis, preparing them for the next step.
THIS is what happened to Anya in S1 when the Shadow finally reached her - that's why she fantasized a life beyond Brightcliffe, which ultimately let her find acceptance of her death. It looks different for everybody, depending on their mind-set - because it is simply an extension of themselves.
The Shadow is just the final catharsis, a return to our original form - it is a moment of true understanding, and once we experience it, we move on to the next place.
We see the Shadow in full effect when it finally comes for Kevin. KEVIN DIES with Ilonka at his side, and it leads to the biggest reveal of the season:
Who were the Mirror Man and the Cataract Woman?
They were Stanley Oscar Freelan and his wife, who built Brightcliffe (fun trivia, he is named after the real-life Freelan Oscar Stanley, who built my favorite hotel in America - the Stanley Hotel. The Stanley is also the inspiration for THE SHINING!).
But more than that... there's a reason that Ilonka only sees Stanley in the mirror, and sees the Cataract Woman whenever she looked at Kevin. This is something else we took from Pike's original book... these aren't ghosts, but glimpses of PAST LIVES.
Ilonka WAS Stanley Oscar Freelan, and Kevin WAS his wife. They've lived many lives this way, and are true SOUL MATES - they always find each other, and they always fall in love. In this life, they knew it would be a short one, so they agreed to find each other in the house they built. They've been "remembering" who they are, and glimpsing their former selves in reflections, and sometimes when they look at each other. This is also why Ilonka's very first words to Kevin in S1 were "Do I know you?" and why Kevin thought she was familiar as well. They are two souls who always find each other, again and again.
The story is this: Stanley was dying, and built this cliffside home hoping that the seaside air would help him. It did, and he far outlived his prognosis (this is also true of the real-life Freelan Stanley). However, his wife began to succumb to dementia.
She would wander the halls, looking for him ("Darling!") and would even forget to feed herself ("I'm starving...") and she eventually refused to leave the basement. Heartbroken for her, Stanley painted the walls to resemble the woodland view, and the ceiling to resemble the night sky, so that it would be a little more beautiful for her.
He also painted a labyrinth on the floor, which was a technique used to try to curb the effects of dementia. She'd walk the pattern of the maze and it was believed it could help her cognition. Eventually, she developed frightening cataracts, but Stanley loved her through it all.
They were soul mates.
So while they seemed scary in season 1, that was just how Ilonka and Kevin's mind were trying to remember their pasts. We even had their faces distorting in ways consistent with how memories degrade over time. When the Shadow comes for Ilonka, and gives her this understanding - this "remembering" - she realizes she has nothing to fear. She and Kevin will shed these personas and be reborn, and have the joy of finding each other another way. The Shadow comes for her, Death takes her gently, and Ilonka goes off with Kevin back into the cosmos, ready for their next incarnation. The series would end with Cheri telling this story to a whole new table of patients, including our new series leads. Most of our original cast now would exist as stories, a story told to the next "class" of storytellers at the table, all of whom we will have met by the end of the season. A story called "The Midnight Club."
Well, that's it... that was what we had in mind. It's a shame we won't get to make it, but it would be a bigger shame if you guys simply had to live with the unanswered questions and the cliffhanger ending. I loved making this show, and I am so proud of the cast and crew. Particularly our cast, who attacked this story with incredible spirit and bravery each and every day.
But for now, we'll put the fire out, and leave the library dark and quiet. To those before, and to those after. To us now, and to those beyond.
Seen or unseen, here but not here.
I'll always be grateful that I got to be part of this Club.
challenge for designers of “creative menorahs”: make it kosher
For those wondering all the candles, except the helper, should be level.
In the above picture is a creative kosher design. The helper candle, used to light the others, would be placed on on the raised head & the others would be place level along the back.
The beloved musical The Wiz will return to Broadway next season in an “entirely reimagined revival” directed by Schele Williams and featuring additional material by Amber Ruffin.
Real talk, the scariest thing about WWIII is knowing most of my family lives near big important cities and my brother with cerebral palsy may can't just run if things get bad. But if I approach my family with emergency plans as a just in case scenario, I'm over reacting.
Today is the kinda day where other people's happiness stabs my soul with a knife. Stood in Target in the "birthday for him" section and tried hard not to cry looking at all those cards for the husband. Found two acceptable ones, then headed elsewhere. Spied a father with his young kids. He leaned down and kissed one of his sons on the head.
And I'm happy they're happy but I want to dissolve into sea foam because instead I got none of the future I hoped for and none of the devotion I needed and I'm too fucking weak to leave a relationship as it burns down around me. Meantime, he's oblivious
Hands down the best cure for being horny?
Get food poisoning.
girls be like *he is my comfort character* and then bam its the most emotionally traumatised ficitonal man you’ve ever seen
“I have sat in philosophy seminars where it was asserted that I should be left to die on a desert island if the choice was between saving me and saving an arbitrary non-disabled person. I have been told it would be wrong for me to have my biological children because of my disability. I have been told that, while it isn’t bad for me to exist, it would’ve been better if my mother could’ve had a non-disabled child instead. I’ve even been told that it would’ve been better, had she known, for my mother to have an abortion and try again in hopes of conceiving a non-disabled child. I have been told that it is obvious that my life is less valuable when compared to the lives of arbitrary non-disabled people. And these things weren’t said as the conclusions of careful, extended argument. They were casual assertions. They were the kind of thing you skip over without pause because it’s the uncontroversial part of your talk. Now, of course, no one has said these things to me specifically. They haven’t said “Hey, Elizabeth Barnes, this is what we think about you!” But they’ve said them about disabled people in general, and I’m a disabled person. Even just thinking about statements like these, as I write this, I feel so much – sadness, rage, and more than a little shame. It’s an odd thing, a hard thing, to try to take these emotions and turn them into interesting philosophy and careful arguments. My first reaction isn’t to sit down and come up with carefully crafted counterexamples for why the views I find so disgusting are false. My first reaction is to want to punch the people that say these things in the face. (Or maybe shut myself in my room and cry. Or maybe both. It depends on the day.) It’s a strange thing – an almost unnatural thing – to construct careful, analytically rigorous arguments for the value of your own life, or for the bare intelligibility of the claims made by an entire civil rights movement.”
— Elizabeth Barnes, “Confessions of a Bitter Cripple,” Philosop-her (x)
Dune Spoilers. Scroll away if you don't know anything about Dune.
Was tempted to turn to my boyfriend of almost 10 years after Leto's last scene and be like "See? This is what happens when you don't marry your long term partner."
I didn't though.
I was absolutely fine going to bed alone when boyfriend worked 3rd shift. What other option was there? But now that he works second, I'm practically begging him to come cuddle me to sleep and he just doesn't 99.9%.
The relationship isn't over yet but, ya know.
I just thought I was gonna have a so much more life experience beyond being broke and despondent lmaooooo. Being a mom and partner has made me an NPC and I'm just making it from one day to the next on sheer "because I have to, I guess"ness.
I worked the Critical Care Unit floor today. In the rest of the hospital, there are no windows into the rooms from the hallway, but in CCU the windows are wide and plentiful. It is unnerving to walk the floor and see so many people intubated and several in prone positions. I have no idea how the nurses and doctors do it day after day, year after year at this point.
I think after all my pushing, there's a very good chance my relationship is going to be over. I might be wrong. I might be right. Either way, my heart is caving in.
I’ve literally seen Riker do all of these
The man is just tall enough that he doesn’t have to move chairs.
Fun fact! He did this because Jonathan Frakes had a back problem. It was easier for him to do this
Fascinating! I did not know that!
it’s why he’s always doing the riker lean, too! where he puts one foot up on something and rests an arm on his own leg! he fucked up his back moving furniture when he was younger.
Disability accommodations do not have to be made into a big deal. He just… did that. And it became part of the physicality of the character. And we all joked about it, because without the context of the actor’s physical discomfort/pain, that is an objectively funny way to approach a chair. But Jonathan Frakes has the raw charisma to make it work, and by Gd he worked the hell out of it.
Yeah, not to get, just, TOTALLY off on a tangent, but it reminds me of the classic “Bartlet Jacket Maneuver” from The West Wing.
This is how Martin Sheen puts on a jacket, and he does it that way because of an injury done to his arm when he was born. His left arm was crushed by forceps as they were removing him from the birth canal, which made that arm shorter than the other and also limited his overall movement. So, he puts on a jacket like this–because he has to. He just doesn’t have the movement and flexibility necessary to slip his arm into the sleeves another way.
But, on the show…he just did it, and did it with such panache and confidence that no one dared even question it. He played President Bartlet on TV for, like, 6 years, and so for 6 years that was just how Fictional President of the United States put his jacket on. And, yeah, it was a bit odd maybe, people definitely noticed, but mostly all anyone actually thought about it was “Damn, that looks cool and badass as fuck.”
It became a signature for the character, not in any kind of negative or “that’s weird” way, but just, like…something unique and special that people recognized and had really positive associations with. You’d see that jacket flip and it would trigger this little bright smiley “Fuck yeah, you go get’em!” feeling inside.
There’s even this bit, in one of the show’s most acclaimed episodes, that includes flashbacks to when the character is much younger, and they had the younger actor do this move when he puts on a jacket (which he had to learn how to do of course) and then used it as a transition cut to the present day character finishing the motion–a way of linking them together, making them feel more like one person with one continuing story to the audience. And like, I remember, seeing it when it first aired, and fuck, I got chills, it was just such great moment! They were literally using this little detail, that was entirely due to the actor adapting to his disability, as a way to ground their flashback sequences with the present storyline and make those scenes feel more real and present to the audience and it worked. Because nobody working on the show saw Sheen’s funky jacket move as problem, they actually found a way for it to actively make the story better.
Anyway, blah blah blah, characters being interesting and having unique elements informed by their actors doesn’t take anything away from the work but actually adds to it, yadda yadda yadda.
