people are always so noisy

the plot of this show has a man who fell out of love w his wife & is trying (& failing) to not fall back in love w her bc now she’s dying & that’s exactly how i feel about life. the more difficult it becomes the less meaningless it feels & i wade through the despair.

in childhood i feared a piano falling on me from the sky and now it is my desire

i love a good controlled environment

it’s so unbelievable that dinosaurs would have screeched (high pitched) like they do in movies. it makes no sense for the physics of a larynx that size -_-

it’s so interesting to learn of ppl’s convictions of me when they have never met me. i personally don’t feel strongly about anyone who i have not met and known.

nature created by chance & people create with intention & ai has neither

i thought my loneliness is mine & only mine bc it didn’t come from longing for a friend or a partner. then i realized my mother gave it to me. when i feel like it’s my last day & that only she could carry me from my lost place into tomorrow, i think about how she couldn’t find me if she tried. that’s when i feel the most alone. but for some reason i find a way to bring myself further because i feel unprepared to rest as long as i don’t know what it feels like to not be deserted. i think that would be an unfulfilled life. my loneliness feels like staring at a blank wall & feeling nothing, begging to be bored at least. for it’s not that you don’t mother but that you cannot - the same being the reason why i raised you & why i stopped.

i spent 6 years testing the limits of my empathy, anger, patience, self-regulation, and insight hmm i think i emerged from that with a certain confidence & internalization of how to mind the business that minds you

dust settles, snow melts, and i keep remembering who i am

sunday night realization that i am not weak but overwhelmed by the amount of things i’m suddenly responsible for without guidance as a second gen immigrant. my parents know how to survive & i am trying to figure out how to do more & maximize what i have as i become the caregiver.

i’m far from a hedonist but some of my closest friends (most admired by me) certainly make me look like one in comparison

u are honest & straightforward but are u forthcoming?

1 hidden privilege of having white collar parents is their extended health benefits. blue collar jobs give u health benefits for ur dependents but white collar jobs additionally give u a “health allowance” (i.e., reimbursement on nonspecific health spending) that a lot of ppl allocate for their kids who no longer qualify as a dependent (in canada, at least).

the thought that one day i’n going to marry a man who has broken another girl’s heart before makes me sick to my stomach 🤮

i’m once again here to say that break from tronno is my fav song. it always makes me happy when i hear it!! i need to listen to it every time i’m drunk or rolling 😵‍💫 i think my headstone should have a QR code to the song