Isshin shook his head in disappointment. Not in her mind you, but in himself. Clearly he hadn’t made himself clear about why he was here. That blame was solely on his shoulders, for he should have been clearer. This was a conversation he knew was coming no matter what, one that had repeated in his head over the years even before Nui Harime ever graced his doorstep.
“Strong arm…? No.” Isshin said quietly, looking almost contemplative. “You see a man trying to justify himself to his daughter, and I am sorry to disappoint you further. That is not the case. Hasn’t been in a long time.”
“I’ve always been a dead man living on borrowed time, from the moment I rescued you from that garbage heap. Probably even before that in all honesty. I fully expected to die that night, even yearned for it a little. Fact of the matter is, Ryuko, is that I belong in hell after everything I’ve done. That’s something I made peace with long ago.”
Once more, he stroked his impossibly long beard. In times like these he would scratch his pet mouse between the ears, if only to feel like he had some sort of companion. But Junko was dead and gone, consumed by the flames of the mansion. “You set out and succeeded at the path I set out for you. It’s not what you wanted, I know, but considering the alternative… I’m proud of you, Ryuko. Immeasurably so.”
“You wanted the truth, Ryuko, and here it is. You don’t need me anymore, and quite frankly I’m not sure you ever did. You prefer me dead, so dead I shall be. I won’t darken your doorstep again.”
And there he was; the man she would once called her dad, the man who was once the only family she knew, the man who saved her life only to abandon her for himself, the man who left her behind because his world was more important than hers, the man who never did look back as he left her to fend for herself, the man who never came back in either her dreams or her life, the man who forgot about her as she forgot about him, the man who abandoned the girl then and who was abandoning her now. It was something she expected for a long, long time if Ryuko ever saw the man again and, again, he proved to be the one to cower behind himself as he failed again, failing not only himself but the child who once looked up to him with a happy smile—only to now look at him with such bitterness in her heart. It seemed like, again, Ryuko would be left with a man who turned his back on her again and she should have been resentful towards him...
Then, how come did Ryuko only feel guilty as she heard the man, who she once called ‘ dad ’, out?
❛ Wait, ❜ the word just... slipped out of her mouth; Ryuko barely had time to realize she said anything at all as she saw life repeat itself before her eyes as Isshin ( this time with closure rather than doubt ), was set to fade away from her life as he had before. Whether she was still angry or not didn’t matter as Ryuko found herself standing in the same position as she had so many times with this man. It was a complicated feeling and Ryuko hated it, but what she hated more than the feeling was the idea he was leaving on. Again, putting her in a position she never wanted to be in but has to respond to nonetheless. ❛ I said wait, dammit! ❜
❛ Christ, here YOU are again, puttin’ words in m’ MOUTH! I never said a damn thing ‘bout preferrin’ ya’ dead! I said that YOU did DIE, not JUST in that fire but when ya’ decided ta’ leave ME all those years ago! I NEVER wanted ya’ dead! I-I... I just wanted a GODDAMN father rather than th’ dead beat who’s convinced himself that he’s lost EVERYTHIN’ when he had a DAUGHTER he ‘bandoned! ❜
