TODAY IT’S A GREAT DAY BECAUSE IT’S MARCH 15th THE DAY WHEN DENZEL CROCKER LOST HIS HAPPINESS AND IT’S ALSO ANNOY SQUIDWARD DAY

It’s also the day Marty McFly’s dad is murdered in the bad timeline

wow this is just a bad date in fiction

It’s the fucking Ides of March people. Todays the day Julius Caesar was stabbed like 23 times

GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

Under D&D rules, a dagger does 1d4 base damage. The average human has a Strength score of 10, adding no bonuses. Several of them, due to the military background of many, likely had strength or dexterity scores of 11-14. But only two or three, and quite a few would be frail with old age, sinking to 8-9 strength. All in all, we can only add a total of +1 damage per round from Brutus.

An estimate of sixty men were involved in Caesar’s actual murder. Not the wider conspiracy, but the stabbing.

Julius Caesar was a general, which is generally depicted as a 10th level fighter. Considering his above baseline constitution and dex, weakened by his probable history of malaria, epilepsy, and/or strokes (-1 dex modifier), and lack of armor at the time of the event, he would likely have something along the lines of AC 9 and 60 HP. The senators would likely hit him roughly 55% the time.

So the Roman senate had a damage-per-round of 66, more than enough to kill Caesar in one round even without factoring in surprise round advantage.

This is a great post, but unfortunately, its conclusion of 66 damage/round is slightly flawed – because this analysis doesn’t take positioning into account. Sixty men can’t all be within knife’s reach of Caesar at the same time; using a normal square grid, only eight Medium-sized combatants can fit in the 5-foot radius surrounding him (and a character can’t end their movement in another creature’s space). I’m sure you see the potential problem here:

5th Edition rules allow any character to break up movement on their turn, moving both before and after an attack. But even with this provision, moving through another character’s space still counts as difficult terrain (requiring twice as much speed to traverse); if the whole Senate rushes in at once, it’s almost impossible for the innermost attackers to push their way back out after delivering their attack, and eventually the curia floor simply grows too clogged with people for everyone to take a stab at Caesar in one round.

It might be possible to deal all of that damage in a single round if the senators all gathered around Caesar in a tight semicircle formation first, attacking in waves from bottom to top. Assuming each senator delays his initiative in precisely the right order to execute a series of coordinated strikes, each row can dart in to stab the dictator and immediately dash out to make room for the row above, like so:

But given that this wasn’t a perfectly disciplined battalion of NINJA SENATORS, I expect that the murder instead involved a couple of sneak attacks followed by a confused stabby dogpile, and probably took quite a bit longer than one round.

In honor of the Ides of March, my favorite Tiktok

The Valentine’s Day Trade-Off 💘

((is it socially acceptable to post this yet))

YES IT ABSOLUTELY IS.

please for the love of god look at this ceramic i found at the thrift store

a couple months ago I saw this post reposted on Instagram, and sent it to my then fiancé, who joked about making these for our wedding favors. I was like "i am absolutely not joking, I would do that." (I was stressed about what to do for favors and was open to anything)

......so, we did. he found a fish he could 3d print, he edited it to have the words, and we printed and spray painted and tied string to 80 of these

....so anyway thanks @bulletsgirl because that was a weird fun part of my wedding and it also made the favors low-pressure in a way (because we knew a lot of people wouldn't want them even if they were perfect sjfkgk)

this is legitimately the most heartwarming wonderful beautiful hilarious thing ive ever seen in my life. i wish you both so much joy

I fucked up

yes, you may think this happened because i left the can in the freezer overnight, only to abruptly awaken to a blast that shook my home,But I am a man of science and am not so easily convinced by such claims. Not when so many other factors were at play. The only logical thing to do is to repeat the conditions of the experiment two more times to ensure reliability and detect outliers. My hypothesis is that this one wont explode

GOOD HEAVENS

I wanted everyone to think im a cool and fun summer guy:(

but obviously i am just a stupid smelly scientist… back to the laboratory i guess..

Perhaps one more try… in the name of scientific integrity…..

GOOD HEAVENS

Achievement Unlocked:

The Scientific Method

Good science is reproducible. It's also a bit sticky sometimes.

The Eiffel tower is going to be deconstructed.

Au revoir et bon débarras, espèce de connard triangulaire.

People will tag fucking anything related to Greece as mythology. They'll literally see pictures of pillars and be like "#Greek Mythology" malaka I promise the pillars are from real life

No offense but all the Germans in the comments explaining why this isn’t funny is the funniest part of this to me

Like of course I know it means "We're looking for you". But why are you looking for them? To such their dich?

my mom told me that credit card interest paid used to be tax deductible and i looked this up because it sounded totally bananas to me but apparently this used to be the case until 1986. what sort of fantasy world were baby boomers living in

good for her

good for her

I feel like the audience of the first moving picture