me @ myself: why is she doing this to herself

my Sunday look

How liberating it is to pursue wholeness instead of perfection

when the king brags about his beautiful wife at dinner and you heard in confession which knight she’s sleeping with

if i was a grisly bear i would literally attack every single human i came in to contact with . this post might seem controversial but its my opinion

THEYRE SO FUNNY FHDODHSKDHDJFH

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

“I’m not here to speak, I’m sure as fuck not here to lecture anybody, but I will tell you what I have seen. And I have seen what happens when people organize, and I have seen what happens when the electorate and the citizenry know themselves and the sleeping dragon that they are, and I know what happens when they act and they act directly. I also know what happens when old pious men make laws about what women should and shouldn’t do. I know this ‘cause I’ve seen direct action from the very state that I hail from, the nation state which was created 100 years ago. And what I would say also, is just to remember where power lies and remind politicians where power lies, ‘cause the biggest thing they fear is losing their fucking jobs. And to men, also:  just be wary of any mentality that would make cattle or make vessels of women, because that same mentality will make machines and tools of you, and make monsters of you. Just remember where power is, just remember what the electorate can do.”

Be wary of any mentality that would make cattle or make vessels of women, because the same mentality will make machines and tools of you, and make monsters of you.

WAIT. Not to be controversial but. What if I just enjoy life for what it is right now instead of stressing about what I’ve yet to get out of it. What if I choose to enjoy this time……I know that once it goes, I won’t get it back from anywhere

R.I.P. The 2976 American people that lost their lives on 9/11 and R.I.P. the 48,644 Afghan and 1,690,903 Iraqi and 35000 Pakistani people that paid the ultimate price for a crime they did not commit

my singing voice is good for showers and mornings in the kitchen and drunken nights and lullabies for babies who need sleep and im okay with this

i think it’s silly to be ashamed of your art because it’s not in a museum and of your voice because it’s not selling out stadiums. there will always be people who enjoy and appreciate what you can do.

Idk why but this hit me really hard and I’ve been staring at it for a couple minutes.

welcome to Mealtimes With Executive Dysfunction, please have a look at our menu:

- not eating anything at all for the next seven hours because you couldn’t decide between any of the above, so you gave up and now you have a headache

Some cats in some funky sunglasses

Some of us are brave enough to do it twice!

Me @ trans people with the guts to do it twice:

They are truly amazing

The person who first discovered that coconut could be eaten must have experienced depths of hunger many will never know.

They prolly just saw some other animal doin it my man

you mean like the coconut crab, which naturally feeds on coconuts by breaking htem open with large claws? 

Coconut crab: I sneep. I break ze coconut. I eat ze coconut.

Some dude:

K but have y’all seen what coconut crabs look like cause

Jesus Christ

Finally some good fucking news