les a miss

Grantaire or alternately Prouvaire for the headcanons meme?

In the absence of a specific headcanon meme here, I’m assuming it’s this one:

 Grantaire:

Headcanon A:  realistic     Whatever artistic skill he may have learned at one point, he’s out of practice enough now that it’s just Super Awkward looking when he tries. He could of course get back into it but like….Effort.  Why. He IS totally happy to draw rude doodles on Bossuet’s head while he’s sleeping though.                   

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilariousOnce woke up in  England after a Lost Weekend with a goat and vague memories about a church and a lot of shouting. Decided to go ahead and try to have a little vacation in England, Why Not. Came back after a week without the goat and with a lot of very lengthy Opinions on the English.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends  NOPE I take no joy in Sad Headcanons, have something else instead:Is in an ongoing contest against/with Bossuet and Bahorel to see who gets evicted from more apartments for Objectionable Behavior. (On the one hand , Bahorel and Grantaire can actually pay their rent, but they are…Bahorel and Grantaire. Bossuet doesn’t pay rent, and his Luck is a factor. But also he’s frequently a guest of the other two when THEY get evicted. It’s a complicated contest. )

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Was once kidnapped and held for ransom; Ransom of Red-Chief’d his way out of it within six hours. Ask him for the story! He will tell you! In Real Time, Just as They All Experienced It! (no one asks him for the story). 

Prouvaire:

Headcanon A:  realistichas tried pretty much every Respectable line of study–medical, lawyer,SCIENCE!!, even the Beaux-Arts– all to no avail, POETRY CALLS HIM (which is to say he gets distracted by Deep Thoughts on every subject and then fails the tests, or indeed even to follow the lesson, because he’s thinking about the Implications of the first fact that made it into his attention.) 

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarioushas a habit of acquiring Very Strange Pets, starting from his childhood turtles and snakes smuggled indoors, aided greatly by his brief stint in vet school (he tried EVERY Respectable Study).  He never keeps the pets for very long– he’s not Good At Pets– but he is likely at any given time to be trying to win the trust of some bird or four-legged creature that no one he knows has seen before.The failure of these attempts not infrequently leads to him needing to smuggle Exotic Creatures INTO the zoo. 

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends  if you think i’m hurting Prouvaire you’re Wrong, have another headcanon instead:

Is actually published pretty extensively, but most of his friends don’t realize how much, because he likes using pseudonyms.  A lot of pseudonyms. It’s entirely possible there’s nothing published under his own name. Future lit historians will Hate Him. He feels warm and fuzzy just thinking about the Mystery He Is Creating:D

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.He didn’t die he just turned into a bird and flew away THAT’S HOW IT HAPPENED