Classic Hollywood Bloopers

And the greatest Hollywood blooper of all time:

These are WONDERFUL

Two more of my favorites:

These are great..made me smile😊💖

The fact these exist are truly amazing.

In the olden days, if footage was not used in a film, it was either destroyed or erased so they could reuse the reel, because it was cheaper than storing unused film.

Google the BBC’s lost archives to find out more.

winter

hello there i hope you all are having a day or night, i did one (1) Gandor for you

>:I

grimes / starter sentences.

Please DO NOT repost anywhere without permission.

The Rope of Destiny

The party, with the help of a bunch of foreign soldiers, has just downed a large and rather terrifying creature we know only as “the night spirit” which has been giving us trouble for a while. When the night spirit finally passed out on the ground, it transformed into a young girl. After much debate about what to do, we agree to tie her up and wait to see what happens. Our very uncharismatic monk, who is both a thief and a hoarder and oddly has higher sleight of hand than our rogue, offers to do the tying, but refuses to use her own rope (see: hoarder).

Monk: I don’t have any rope.

Paladin: I’m literally looking at your rope. It’s strapped to the outside of your pack.

Monk: … this rope is special rope. It has a specific fate. Today is not the day this rope is to be used.

DM: Roll deception.

Monk: *nat20*

Party: WTF?!?!

DM: That totally works. Everyone around you believes that rope has a preordained destiny.

Fighter: *squinting at monk* Can I roll insight on that?

DM: Sure.

Fighter: *nat1* … goddammit.

Party: *erupts into laughter*

DM: You are completely and utterly suckered, you sad sack of shit. You genuinely believe this rope is powerful. You don’t know how powerful, or what its powers are, but you now covet it.

Rogue: I try to steal the rope.

DM: Fine. You’ve opened Pandora’s box with this shit.

Rogue: *nat1*

Party: *gasping for breath between bouts of laughter*

DM: You move to swipe the rope, but slip and wind up genuflecting before it.

Party: *has to briefly break to compose ourselves after all this absurdity*

Paladin: *looks somewhat disturbed by everything that has transpired* … here, just. Use my rope. (ooc) If you roll another nat1, I’m out.

Monk: Thank you! ^^ Alright, now I tie up the kid.

DM: Roll sleight of hand.

Monk: *nat1*

DM: (without missing a beat) You tie yourself to the child. You wear her like a backpack.

Paladin: *walks out*

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, a Texan reacting to seeing snow. ;)

Different Strokes?

I think I left the teller at the bank genuinely disturbed when I told him that “If I can’t afford it, I just don’t buy it.”  “What about a car? Do you drive a car?” he inquired, his voice toning on the edge of fear.   I told him, “Yeah, I have a vehicle. I bought it used for under $3,000.”  He looked physically pained. “What about if you want to buy some kind of new appliance? Or furniture?” he persisted. I stared at him blankly. “My couch was $5.00 at Goodwill. Like…I just buy shit cheap or I don’t buy it at all. The only thing in my life that I make payments on is my house, my bills, and my insurance, and that’s split five ways because I have housemates.”  The young man looked horrified? Appalled? And somehow also awed?  This guy couldn’t have been much older than me. But it seemed that he’d never even considered the option before of saving up for something to purchase it outright instead of using a credit card. Am I the only person in my general age group (just turned 26) who’s never owned a credit card, and who has forgone basic comforts in order to save up for items so you don’t owe money to anyone, like, ever? 

If you’re living in the US without a credit card at 26, you’re playing with danger.

No credit is viewed as the same as bad credit. Which means you could be denied if you ever do need to rent an apartment or a car. Hospitals and clinics are also less likely to allow payment plan programs for people without good credit.

The best thing you could do at this point is apply for a credit card you’re eligible for and pay a few things (I do gas and groceries myself) with it each month. As long as you keep it to zero balance each month there is no interest and there will be proof of you not having debt (instead of just the absence of debt).

what.

This is legit how it works.  The system requires records on you, or else.  So you need a credit card and worse, you need to have a record of using it, even if you pay it off every single month.  Unfortunately, the formulas used to determine credit score are secret, so we also have people suggesting that your credit rating is helped if every so often you do pay a bit of interest.  The whole thing is a complete mess.  If you don’t have a credit rating/history, then any loans you manage to get will be at extremely high interest and will require much more effort than they really should.

what

yeaah let me just go get a card that i can’t pay off because capitalism is shit, even if i literally only buy a pack of gum that’d go well

If you pay it off in full every month there is no interest.  Do what OP is doing but put some of that on your credit card and pay it off every month, and soon you will have a very good credit rating.

you skipped right the fuck over the “can’t pay it off” part huh like credit cards are just not a viable thing if you’re poor and have shit income

And I’m saying to literally not put anything on it if you can’t buy it in cash. And I’m aware that they fuck over poor people, but yeah, that’s the system that’s in place. This is advice for navigating it, which is how to obtain good credit which helps a lot.

Right like don’t make minimum payments, put your gas on your credit card then that same day pay the credit card company online then don’t worry about it for another month. It’s an absolutely shit system, but in the event of an emergency it’s good to have.

I have had to explain this to a lot of people in my life, but it’s true- no credit is the same as bad credit. What having (and using) the card actually shows is that you are capable of (and actually follow through on) making regular payments: ie, it is proof of having a steady income (even if you do not actually have a steady income). It is showing you reliably can pay for things you purchase, which is what your credit score is all about.

Think of it this way. You have a credit card, which is your credit tracking device. You use the card to tell someone “I will pay for this thing with borrowed money.” They agree to allow you to pay with borrowed money. You then turn around to your credit card company and say “Thank you for allowing me to borrow your money, I will now pay you back with my own money.” (which, if you repay them promptly enough, you can repay them the exact same amount you borrowed, rather than paying them more than you borrowed [which is what interest is])

The credit card company then recognizes that you successfully borrowed their money AND returned it safely, and they pass that information along to credit tracking companies. Each time you do this, you gain credibility. If you do this enough times, you are considered a credible borrower of money, so that if you ever are in a situation where you need to borrow a large sum of money (for example, a mortgage or a car or a hospital bill or whatever), companies with money will look at how well you have returned money in the past, and say Ah yes, this person repays their debts well, so we can lend them our money this time.

So like, do what the above folks are recommending. Get a credit card and use to to reasonably purchase things you already have to buy- put a batch of groceries on the card. Go home (or wherever you can use the interne), pay it off as if you had paid cash in the store for it. There is no extra fee or interest for doing this, and you are leveling up your credibility in case of emergency later on in life.

Ok, here’s a guide for the easiest way to do this.

1. get your first baby credit card with the bank that you already bank with. If it has cashback rewards, even better (that’ll be free money later).

2. set that shit up so it pays the full amount, automatically, every month. you don’t have to remember to go home and pay it off, or worry about it at all. You won’t pay interest.

Your first card, especially if you have no credit, is going to have a small limit. Like $500. This is important: credit companies want you to use a certain percentage of the card every month. This is 1-9%. I usually just go straight 5%. If you use too much, you look like a wild card (even if you pay it off every month) and if you use nothing than you’re not proving to them you can be trusted.

So your first card has a $500 limit. 5% of 500 is $25.

Your goal is to use $25/month.

This is about a tank of gas for me. So once a month, I would fill up with this card, and then put it in the back of my wallet until next month. The payment was made automatically by my bank from one account (debit) to the other (credit). Rinse and repeat. I did this for a year.

Then after a year, my credit had skyrocketed (because I had nothing before, and added this good habit for a year). So I called up my bank and asked for them to increase my limit based on my new credit. I had shown them I was good at borrowing a good amount of money and paying it back on time every time.

The bank increased my limit to $5,500. Like holy shit, at the time I was definitely not expecting that.

So new math. 5% of 5500 is $225. So now instead of gas, I put my cell phone bill ($50), my car insurance ($130), and my dog food automatic order ($40) on it.

The best part is everything is automatic. I keep this card in the back of my wallet permanently; all these bills and the automatic payments are, well, automatic. My credit goes up, I rack up cash back rewards, there’s nothing to it.

And, if I ever get in an emergency, like a vet bill for one of my dogs, I can use that card to pay the $3,000 emergency bill without worrying about whether the place will take my dog if I have no money. I can then go home, change the settings from “pay in full every month” to “pay $X every month” (more than the minimum!) until it’s paid off, and then go back to just my bills. My credit might take a little dip during that time, but will bounce back pretty quickly.

There’s several other factors to credit (hit me up if you want more info) but this was literally the only measure I took for my first year, and my credit went from 525 to 700 in a year. Another year later, I’m now at 753, have a mortgage with a great rate, and can get a monster ass loan if I really need it in case an emergency or hard times fall.

It’s a shitty system of hoops to jump through, but knowing you can use these measures if it comes to it is a good feeling.

As hinted at by the last comment, many credit cards also have similar functions to stores’ rewards cards. I have a card with no limit (it takes a tremendous amount of self-control) which gives 2% - 3% cash back on every purchase. Not only do I help my credit with purchases I’d make regardless of the card, but I’m also paying less than the intended value. In general, with a credit card that you use every month, you should seek a card with no yearly fee, as small an interest rate as possible, and rewards that can decrease the amount of money you spend for common purchases.

As a second point, having a small, running balance on a credit card can also help your credit. You never want a situation in which the amount becomes unplayable. However, a balance above $0 tells the company that you’re using your card as intended while both making payments and providing them with extra funds. I can’t stress enough that restraint is important, but playing the system in this way can help jumpstart your credit at an early age.

I found this out when I had an emergency vet bill. There’s a type of medical card that will cover vet bills for pets, and the vet helped me apply. But I had paid everything upfront all my life because I can’t stand the thought of being in debt, and while my grandmother with excellent credit was approved as my secondary, I was flat-out denied. Because I had no credit history. I was lucky, in that Grama always keeps emergency funds on her person, so my cat lived (and she’s a precious bundle of love!) but otherwise, I would have been shit out of luck. What I did was go to the hardware store my grampa uses for business- he’s a plumber- where they physically KNEW ME and knew my grampa, and set up a credit account. I’d buy things- a gatorade so I didn’t dehydrate on the job, candy bars, a soda, whatever, and pay it all off like clockwork when the bill came that month. And this came in really handy, because about a year after I’d opened this “credit account”…. I got an expense I COULDN’T pay upfront. A water heater. The internal system that lit the pilot light to heat the water had gone bad, and there’s no way to fix that system. And I will be honest, I DID NOT HAVE $600 in my bank account to drop on a dime. I needed about two more paychecks to cover a cost like that on short notice, but it wasn’t my water heater that busted. It was my tenant’s. And as a landlord, I CANNOT let my tenant go without hot water because I can’t afford a new water heater. That’s… I’m like 90% sure that’s illegal in my state. But I did have a year’s worth of really good credit at this hardware store. Long and short, I bought and installed the new water heater ASAP, and successfully kept my credit good by being able to pay off that bill, in full, when it came…THE NEXT MONTH. After I’d gotten two more paychecks. But if I hadn’t been able to do that, I could have made smaller payments as able until I could pay it off, and my tenant didn’t have to suffer. In theory, if it happened in my own house, neither would I have to suffer without hot water for two or three weeks. Credit is a fucked-up, stupid, crazy system, it’s true. But it is very, very USEFUL to have access to in moments of emergency.

It’s also good if, for whatever reason, you need to go to a slightly sketchy place. For example, my college campus bookstore was in a sketchy part of town. Not the kind of place you want to carry around $400-$500 (college books are so fucking expensive I want to puke). That’s the main reason I got my credit card in the first place. Cuz if someone robs you when you’re carrying a lot of cash then they get all your money. But if they take your credit card, when you get away and you’re safe, you call the credit card company and say your card was stolen and to cancel it. So then they don’t get any of your money. Credit sucks, and you need to be careful with spending on credit cards, but there are plus sides to it.

TRANSLATION

SAITO: I will return home. (munch munch)

OKITA: (lick) ♪

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