J.K. Cornah

That tag sent me

Let us suppose that the "average" horse would have equal proportions of all these parts. The degree to which each part in this poll deviates from the "average" size (20% of total) will determine how large or small that part of our horse will be (i.e a horse with only 10% in Legs will have legs half the size of the average horse).

I will draw a picture of the horse we make!

Thank you for your patience, tumblr. I have been at work all day but now I am home and ready to build this horse you asked for.

First, let's pull up the poll results alongside an average looking horse. I have calculated the size of each part of our horse in relation to Average Size.

Next we will adjust our horse's components according to the specifications.

Finally, let us properly assemble these parts and see how it looks.

And there you have it. Great work team. No notes.

I'm just saying, if there's a curse that runs along your family line and you don't tell your kids about it, how the hell are they supposed to go on a quest to stop it?

Tell your children about your medical history.

No fucking way LMFAO

if the universe were not so cruel the "Tailor Swift" would be a beautiful bird that elegantly sews its nest together

A purebred fancy mouse, color: black tan

I don't know what paddington is doing on that list, but it made me think of the time someone drew a picture of the queen with paddington after she died, and we had scores of people losing their minds at the idea that paddington bear wasn't the same kind of communist as them

I love the sorrow in which you wrote this

The tragedy of growing up british & left wing is realising all your beloved childhood animals in waistcoats were monarchists to the core

I feel like in many ways "How'd he manage to grow up a middle-aged middle-class British man in Peru, anyways?" is the wrong question but it's still the one I am hung up on, years later.

Hold on let’s do this properly:

Paddington - regrettably a monarchist but in that specific immigrant way. The only actual immigrant on the list. May possibly just be a monarchist as part of the processing stage and is also canonically a child.

Winnie the Pooh - is canonically a stuffed animal, I genuinely don’t think he has this level of thought/agency and is not written as such. The real living breathing animals (owl, rabbit) are not just monarchists, but actively and cruelly bourgeois.

The Velveteen Rabbit - doesn’t wear a waistcoat but not a monarchist either.

Angelina Ballerina - a monarchist and a bit of a little bitch tbqh

The Brambly Hedge mice - really unclear. But like worryingly unclear. Clearly some kind of caste system in operation (lords and ladies) but not capitalist or explicitly feudalist either, it seems a thin overlay over their real political intentions: incredibly intense cheesemaking forming the backbone of a post-scarcity economy.

Beatrix Potter / Peter Rabbit - monarchists.

Richard Scarry - actually I can’t make a call on this one

Animals of Farthing Wood - I … don’t know.

Wind in the Willows - Toad’s a fucking Tory, but I feel like the Water Rat is kind of a comrade

Watership Down - unfortunately many of these rabbits are fashy, even the ones you like. Ursula le Guin said it, not me. They wouldn’t walk away from omelas. However, they touch a lot of grass - enough grass to not be interested in the house of Windsor - which is a point in their favour.

Redwall - monarchists, though not for the British monarchy. and also, somehow, Mouse Anglican verging on Mouse Catholic. Worrying, fascinating.

Oakapple Wood - monarchists

Hobbit - not a woodland creature but wears a waistcoat and is sympathetic to Thorin, Aragorn. Provisionally extremely monarchist and the very earliest interpretations of hobbits appeared to think they are somehow bipedal rabbits, which pissed Tolkien off.

Rupert Bear - British bear in clothes attributed partially for the decline in the usage of the name Rupert - but I don’t know a thing about him

The Highway Rat - all Julia Donaldson creatures lick the boot that crushes them, even the highway rat. Possibly not the Gruffalo. The Gruffalo however is the most naked that anyone has ever been, thus not an animal that would wear clothes.

The Narnia creatures - don’t all wear clothes, but THE definitive monarchists

Fantastic Mr Fox - not a monarchist. and in the wes Anderson film is not even British although the farmers and setting are (brilliant artistic choices, especially including an excellent but fucking random possum that calls the entire ecosystem into question: ultimately these are North American animals subverting and undermining the British landowners in a strange political statement whose intentions and direction are unclear.) Not monarchists, but what?

Viruses - possibly monarchists, wear coats, and present in children’s literature as exemplified by the Usborne “See Inside Germs.” Ultimately more data is needed.

Thoughts on Toad and Frog?

They’re American

This post is bigger than me now but:

I feel like this is us OP

now do the animals from animal farm

Oooh! I know this one….ahhhh Fascist

I just think it would be funny to switch things up and lead with "popular far-right online blogger, Joan Rowling" once in awhile.

"Joan Rowling, most famous for her staunch opposition to equal rights through her popular Twitter blog"

"Long time advocate against women's rights, Joan Rowling."

"Joan Rowling, a major contributor to the conservative party"

reply by @sapphos-mistake :

I can't quite agree with that line of reasoning but I can't quite disagree either, and her pen name for the other genre she's published novels in is Right There, so like, "popular far-right blogger Robert Galbraith (real name Joanne Rowling)", and refer to her as Galbraith for the rest of the piece

honestly you're right, that's way better. we should do that forever now

honestly you’re right,

that’s way better. we should do

that forever now

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

me when im a liar who has lied several times already and is currently lying about being sorry for lying and will continue to lie going forward

precisely what a liar would say

you would not believe who this guy is

im gods weakest faggot

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

Wait Hold on

Once again I’ve become overly conscious over the fact that I’m really just a brain with tendrils controlling a meat mecha😔

Y’all… this dumb joke I made got viral on twitter and pissed of a LOT of right-wing philosophers and fundamentalists yesterday, it’s actually wild.

These are the types of dudes who cry about leftists getting triggered while they literally froth at the mouth at the sight of a meme drawing