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Aestrix

@aestrix / aestrix.tumblr.com

Lurkers Anonymous
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aestrix

I’m fiddling with a setting, and decided to make a map of a continent for it! So here it is. It’s about the size of Australia, and other continents in this world are not making an appearance in this post. They will likely be ignored until they suddenly become relevant, which might be never. We shall call them Schrodinger’s continents.

I am not a geologist of any kind, but gosh did I try to make it look at least a little bit reasonable. Except for the scaling of the rivers, the scaling of the rivers is aggressively terrible. I wanted to show relative sizes of the rivers without adding Google Maps levels of zoom. I regret nothing, and I’m not sorry, but I invite you to imagine they’re a little bit more reasonably sized, width wise.

While I have some idea of what’s going on, geologically, not everything is quite figured out. Here’s what I have so far, but please take it with that entire inland sea’s worth of salt. I am not a geologist or any kind of qualified, I’m just some woman with Photoshop and Google, doing the best I can. I’d appreciate any kind of offered feedback and will be more than happy to nudge things around so they make a bit more sense.

The mountains to the west are imagined as Appalachian equivalents; once the biggest mountains in the world, now slowly getting ground down into very picturesque scenery. Next to it, a clockwise ocean current tries its very hardest to make a peninsula. Give it your blessings, everyone, it’s got a long way to go.

To the north, the coastline is a bunch of scars left by various glaciers, from before this continent migrated south for the epoch. The northwestern section in particular is rather dry and rocky. Unless I’m mistaken, it does not quite make it all the way into being a desert, because to be honest, this whole continent is rather wet. Even with those mountains helping it out, it just doesn’t look like it could credibly make it. It would if it could, probably cursing its terrible fate.

Speaking of salty, the inland sea! I haven’t decided if it is ‘salty,’ ‘very salty,’ or ‘it’s so high in salt intake you can almost walk on water.’ Are the rivers enough to keep it from becoming Xbox Live? Realistically, no, but they seem like they’d at least help. I could probably use an expert opinion there.

South of the sea of questionable salinity is its less impressive but more stable little brother. The tiny strait that connects it is just enough to keep this one roughly attuned to the ocean, and maybe the home of a few sharks that wanted to go somewhere exotic for their vacation. 

Next to that is a respectable peninsula, which might have once been part of the Not-Appalachians ages ago, but definitely isn’t anymore. Luckily it has several island friends to console itself, so it’s doing okay.

To the east of the peninsula and its island friends is their stiff competition. The eastern peninsula is a bit less popular, but it’s very close with its large and impressive looking BFF.

North of the introvert peninsula is another mountain range! I believe this one is a result of subduction, and consequently has a volcano or two. Or three. Or half a dozen. It’s probably fine. Don’t worry about it.

How did that horn get there, you might ask? What an excellent question. The coastline was looking a bit dull without it, so I added it to spice it up a little. Oh, you mean a geology reason? Uh. A wizard did it. A geology wizard.

On the subject of geology wizards: Hey, @fantasy-cartography, would you like to have a look at this and tell me how I’m doing? I would really appreciate feedback!

Hey Aestrix! Thanks for the submission, sorry it’s taken me a bit to get around to looking at it!

So I’m going to open with a bit of first-impressions-based brutal honesty; this continent looks like someone shoved hydraulic jacks underneath the north coast and lifted the whole thing up by ten degrees. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve done a really good job thinking through all this stuff, especially the coastlines, and I love your analysis of it all, and I think that rivers and lakes are an underappreciated geological feature for fantasy storytelling, but the fact that the rivers flow exclusively south really bothers me for some reason. I reckon that there are a couple of fixes for this. You can either move the Appalachian-esques from the west coast to the north coast (don’t put mountains on three coasts or you’re looking at Floating Mordor), or you could shift the origin points for those rivers slightly southwards and/or shift the north coast northwards, and then and add more rivers flowing into those fjords. On balance I like the second solution slightly better, although I acknowledge that it’s more work from a drawing perspective.

The good thing with those fjords is that the area must have been pretty mountainous when they formed, even if those mountains are mostly eroded away. You could have a bunch of really short rivers which flow radially into each bay. Depending on how far south the continent has drifted since they formed, then you could even have the rivers around the fjords being mostly dry valleys, with the rivers only flowing dependent on which valleys it rains in (if they were mostly glacier-fed and the glaciers dried up). Hmm, that makes me think about a nomadic culture which moves dependent on which valleys have water in them in any given year. Maybe they have seeds which remain dormant except when watered, or maybe they rely on divination magic to tell which valleys will get rained on…

Your concerns about the big ol’ inland sea being too salty are mostly unfounded – I think it would have enough drainage to keep the fresh water cycled through, meaning that it wouldn’t be as salty as the ocean. More Lake Erie than Lake Eyre. This would depend on the underlying geology, specifically the question of how salty the soils at the bottom of the sea basin are, but unless they’re unusually salty you can probably assume the water would be fresh.

The peninsula on the south corner of the lake, between the two rivers, definitely has a major city on it. Maybe there’s a nation whose territory officially stretches between those two rivers, with one major city on the lake peninsula and another one on that smaller river in between the two? That would give them a pretty strong monopoly on water-based trade, which is definitely going to be important on a continent shaped like this. For the record, those rivers in the south definitely have pretty strong tides (assuming an Earthlike tidal system), so you should put the south coast’s major towns some distance upriver.

The far north end of the sea, around that long thin island, might be a bit saltier than the south end, because I can’t see water being cycled around too much there unless there are more rivers flowing into that part of the island that you haven’t drawn in on the map. I wonder if that part is a caldera lake from a very large volcano, and maybe the island in the middle is a reforming cone? Or maybe the island belongs to some kind of trade/piracy-based city-state? Or maybe there’s a mining town on the coast nearby and the island is being dug out for valuable ores, with the miners heading back and forth in rowboats every day? Lots of possibilities there, definitely pay attention to it.

I hope I’m not stepping on your toes too much by coming up with three possible major cultures for your world, but I think it’s a good sign when an internet rando looks at your map and says “Hey, I think there should be cities here, here, and here, and I can see a whole bunch of stories coming from those locations…”.  I can’t think of a good concluding statement, but this is a great first draft and you should stick with it!

Oo! Brutal honesty! Thank you very much, I appreciate it and the overall feedback a lot! As my lovely and talented coauthor @shitifindon put it: your feedback is amazing. The line about the hydraulic jacks was very enlightening, and also great. I giggled. I will definitely be fixing that problem now.

You are absolutely not stepping on any toes by coming up with three possible major cultures for the world! Even if the ideas themselves can’t be used or re-purposed, the logic behind them is still important and I absolutely want to hear all about it. You even found several of the spots where cities are planned, and pointed out how great they’d be for building cities at, which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You agree!! Delicious validation, yes!

I like your second solution for the river problem more too; the not-Appalachians need to stay right where they are for story reasons. There will be a wizard of with a dramatic mountain lair in them, and I cannot take away his mountains. He would be so sad. Even better, the northern part of the continent has been overrun with horrifying magic monsters. This means that expanding the north will expand the monster hordes. I love it, and cackled accordingly.

Your thoughts about the skinny sea island were also very interesting, particularly the bit about the northern part of the sea being an old caldera. The ravagers did not have a source before. No one had any time to write anything down about how they showed up, and ultimately it didn’t really matter much. Now, however, they have a source! They burst forth from the earth in a large, volcano-like explosion. From right there. :D

So! With your (and @plain-dealing-villain​‘s) criticism in mind, have a revised map, now with so many more rivers, more north, a slightly fiddled with coastline, and one large body of water, scootched slightly to the north.

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I’m fiddling with a setting, and decided to make a map of a continent for it! So here it is. It’s about the size of Australia, and other continents in this world are not making an appearance in this post. They will likely be ignored until they suddenly become relevant, which might be never. We shall call them Schrodinger’s continents.

I am not a geologist of any kind, but gosh did I try to make it look at least a little bit reasonable. Except for the scaling of the rivers, the scaling of the rivers is aggressively terrible. I wanted to show relative sizes of the rivers without adding Google Maps levels of zoom. I regret nothing, and I’m not sorry, but I invite you to imagine they’re a little bit more reasonably sized, width wise.

While I have some idea of what’s going on, geologically, not everything is quite figured out. Here’s what I have so far, but please take it with that entire inland sea’s worth of salt. I am not a geologist or any kind of qualified, I’m just some woman with Photoshop and Google, doing the best I can. I’d appreciate any kind of offered feedback and will be more than happy to nudge things around so they make a bit more sense.

The mountains to the west are imagined as Appalachian equivalents; once the biggest mountains in the world, now slowly getting ground down into very picturesque scenery. Next to it, a clockwise ocean current tries its very hardest to make a peninsula. Give it your blessings, everyone, it’s got a long way to go.

To the north, the coastline is a bunch of scars left by various glaciers, from before this continent migrated south for the epoch. The northwestern section in particular is rather dry and rocky. Unless I’m mistaken, it does not quite make it all the way into being a desert, because to be honest, this whole continent is rather wet. Even with those mountains helping it out, it just doesn’t look like it could credibly make it. It would if it could, probably cursing its terrible fate.

Speaking of salty, the inland sea! I haven’t decided if it is ‘salty,’ ‘very salty,’ or ‘it’s so high in salt intake you can almost walk on water.’ Are the rivers enough to keep it from becoming Xbox Live? Realistically, no, but they seem like they’d at least help. I could probably use an expert opinion there.

South of the sea of questionable salinity is its less impressive but more stable little brother. The tiny strait that connects it is just enough to keep this one roughly attuned to the ocean, and maybe the home of a few sharks that wanted to go somewhere exotic for their vacation. 

Next to that is a respectable peninsula, which might have once been part of the Not-Appalachians ages ago, but definitely isn’t anymore. Luckily it has several island friends to console itself, so it’s doing okay.

To the east of the peninsula and its island friends is their stiff competition. The eastern peninsula is a bit less popular, but it’s very close with its large and impressive looking BFF.

North of the introvert peninsula is another mountain range! I believe this one is a result of subduction, and consequently has a volcano or two. Or three. Or half a dozen. It’s probably fine. Don’t worry about it.

How did that horn get there, you might ask? What an excellent question. The coastline was looking a bit dull without it, so I added it to spice it up a little. Oh, you mean a geology reason? Uh. A wizard did it. A geology wizard.

On the subject of geology wizards: Hey, @fantasy-cartography, would you like to have a look at this and tell me how I’m doing? I would really appreciate feedback!

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*sidles into your inbox* hi yes I would like an aestrixaesthetic please

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“It’s not finished,” murmurs someone to the history book they write, annoyed. They write furiously, never stopping. There are more pages to fill. Always, always, always more pages. More books, too, but for now those are put aside. Those are for later, when the ink comes slower for this one.

“When did the kingdom fall, when did she ascend to power — what did it, when...?” A pause, in breath and pen. A realization. “Ah! Yes, yes, that’s it, that’s it.

The pen’s toils resume.

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reblogged

Could I request compliments? I am strangely delighted by the prospect of these coming in a tidy list. Also compliments. I am also delighted by compliments.

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I am so glad you are a fan of the list!

1. You have sort of a…heroic aesthetic, if that makes sense.  It shows up in your characters (there’s a sort of Determination To Do Good and Devotion To The People I Love that seems to be a motif of yours and also feels intrinsically heroic) and in your video game livestreams that you used to do (you WILL save all the computer-generated people, damn it!) and just…in the way that you approach things, I guess!  

2. You have a knack for turning mundane things into stories.  And by mundane things I mean things like responses to ask box memes and reminiscences about your first time RPing and explanations of how you realized your sexuality and headcanons about your characters. You don’t post on tumblr much but every time you do it’s like I get to take a little journey with you.  (Do you ever write, like, microfiction?  I feel like you’d be good at it).

3. You’re a highly perceptive person (which is probably why you’re able to write such great characters).

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aestrix

eeeee :D

I repeat: eeeeeeee!!

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renesassing

someone made a post about how revan would say this, and i wanted to link it, but i can’t find it and it makes me mad. (EDIT: someone was awesome enough to link me the post so here it is!) because it’s 900% true. revan would totally strike poses and talk about how the real reason they left the jedi order is because the council was jealous of their stunning good looks and that if they didn’t wear their mask people wouldn’t stop fighting over them. 

worst of all, they have that kind of personality where when you meet them, you can’t help but think ‘they probably are really hot under that mask, dammit.’

bonus:

being revan’s best friend / top henchman can’t be good for your blood pressure. hang in there, malak. 

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aestrix

Accurate.

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Tom Holland does Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on Lip Sync Battle

I’m literally zendaya reacting like he didn’t have to go that hard and yet..

I’ve watched this like five times since yesterday. HE’S WEARING MERMAID LEGGINGS YOU GUYS. THIS WHOLE THING IS GOLD.

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a love letter to the Constellation

 This one’s for @marrinikari and @throne3d.

Constellation, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I don’t think I mention enough how much I love the Constellation.

I started glowficcing at the very end of its being on Dreamwidth, a little while before the Constellation sprang into being from Marri’s head, like Athena from the head of Zeus. So I only had a little taste of glowficcing not on the Constellation, and that was quite enough.

I am genuinely unsure whether I’d have ended up getting into glowfic if it weren’t for the Constellation – doing it on Dreamwidth was that unwieldy. I know I’m not the only one to have expressed this sentiment. If we’re counting up our Very Large Numbers of glowfic, T’Mir style, I think Marri should get a significant cut of every new thread made.

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ironiconion

What do we know about Tom Bombadil? He is fat and jolly and smiles all the time. He is friendly and gregarious and always ready to help travellers in distress. Except that none of that can possibly be true.

Wow.

#YOU WERE RIGHT TO FEAR THE BOMB

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argumate

yikes

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Our party—a bard, a fighter, and a ranger—were on a one-off side quest to deliver a letter to somebody. He wasn’t at his house (learned after breaking in, to the DM’s dismay), so we found out the general area he was in and went there, confusion in our wake and a spring in our steps. I, the bard, had decided that I would funnel every ounce of skill I possessed into charisma, and at level 5 had a +6 modifier. I had been using that power at every opportunity that arose. We wander through the foothills full of caves, looking for this guy, when our fighter rolls a nat 20 perception trying to look for any signs of life.

DM: You—okay, so. Yeah. With that, you actually notice about fifty feet away that a particular cluster of bushes is rustling just slightly, but not with the breeze.

Fighter: Oh. Cool. “Hey guys, I think there are some folks in those bushes over there.”

Me: “Cool beans! HELLOOOOOOO, MY DUDES!”

DM: There’s a few seconds of silence before four guys come slowly forward from the bushes. They look pretty rough and tough, and uh—

Ranger: Can I roll perception? Uh… that’s a 15.

DM: You deduce that they’re probably bandits or something. They’re walking forward and one of the guys says, “Who are you little pests, and what’re ya doing in these here foothills of ours?”

Me: “We’re just hanging out, traveling, and actually it seems like a good time to break for breakfast if you lovely gents would like to join us! I can brew us up some chamomile, I have like a thousand mushrooms I got earlier—”

Fighter: “I got that chicken, too, and jerky.”

Me: “Oh hell yeah, we’re gonna chow down if y'all want in on that action.”

DM: That’s, uh… that’s persuasion, advantage because you’re offering them food and seem too dumb to be dangerous.

Me: Thanks man. Uh… 14 total.

DM: *head in his hands* I just—okay, they join you for breakfast I guess. And yet again you avoid a fight I planned for you. One of the dudes breaks out some eggs from somewhere.

Ranger: What’re their names?

DM: Uh, uh, they—it’s got. There’s Bablo, Sanchez, Kent, and uh. Eskabar.

Me: Cool. I roll to flirt with them.

DM: ………<i>all of them???</i> I mean… sure?? I guess??

Me: Hells yeah. Rolling.

Proceeds to roll: 16, 19, and <i>two natural 20s</i>.

DM: *head on the table* Like. You—you make your fellow party members super uncomfortable. You are piled under boys, it’s kinda gross but super chill for you. Kent wasn’t super into the whole group thing before, but now he would straight up die for you. He’s learning a lot about himself today.

Me: I’m gonna write those names down for later. Can I put “a boys harem” in my items list?

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lullabyknell

themoosejthm replied to your post

he’s tots projecting and trying to remind HIMSELF to be civilized. it doesn’t work.

I’ve been thinking about this and it’s given me a lot of thoughts about Obi-Wan’s time on Tatooine. Like, we all know his life just got ripped to pieces and he’s now stuck on Planet Sand Hell, but honestly, there had to be some not-shit parts to Obi-Wan finally being free of civilization. My thoughts: 

  • He can finally up his levels of sass to deadly 24/7 and be the rudest, saltiest, most smug witty jerk in the damn galaxy.
  • Never has to talk to anyone. Ever. 
  • (But when he does, everyone he meets ever meets either wants to punch his handsome insufferable face in or kiss him senseless. Maybe both. Definitely both.) 
  • No attachments? Lol. Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only ho. 
  • (Tatooine may be a wasteland, but it is a truth universally acknowledged that any Star Wars planet in possession of a “civilized” population has at least one skeevy nightclub in which to get obliterated.) 
  • Can start all the bar fights he wants. 
  • Does start all the bar fights he wants. 
  • (Little known fact is that the Jedi Mind Trick was invented to get past bouncers when you’ve been banned from bars for chopping arms off after your fifth drink.) 
  • This video.
  • He could sleep for sixteen hours a day if he wanted.
  • (Honestly, the man’s just off like twenty years of war, he deserves 5+ hour naps whenever he wants for whatever reason.) 
  • (Darth Vader is scouring the galaxy for Kenobi, meanwhile Ben is snoozing in a blanket pile in his hermit hut until 3pm every day, then throws on some funky sunglasses and drives still hungover to Mos Eisley for some Space Waffles and another beer.) 
  • He can finally achieve his repressed dream of being the Local Weirdo. He can talk to himself and crack all the terrible puns and there’s no Jedi Council to stop him anymore. 
  • In fact, he can go a step further and be the Local Cryptid. 
  • (”Oh yeah, I saw ol’ Ben Kenobi once. He saved me from Sand People, told me that blasters were uncivilized and stole mine, then gave me a neat rock and told me the Force wants me to fuck off.”) 

I’ve never seen the TCW series. Feel free to add. 

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profmeowmers
Anonymous asked:

high key can u give me a rundown of ur fav wacky wwii shenanigans

Okay friends today we are gonna learnabout the GHOST ARMY, which, disappointingly, was not actually anarmy made of ghosts

image

pictured: the unit patch for theGhost Army, which is DOPE AS FUCK

see one of the things that made WWII sofucking nuts was the totally bizarre level of technology. Like wow weinvented the first real computer and radar but also if you wanted tosee how many troops were hanging out somewhere you had to send a dudeto fly over and take pictures manually??? this left A LOT of room forshenanigans

so the normal method of dealing withaerial surveillance was to cover shit with camouflage netting. Sayyou’ve got an nice air base that you really don’t want any bombsdropped on- you literally just cover that with a ludicrous amount ofnetting and some fake trees and BAM now it looks like just an emptyfield from the air

there’s a building under that weirdlump

that’s cool! That’sreally cool! But not cool enough

At some pointsomebody sat down and went “hey wait. What if…what if instead ofdisguising buildings and units as fields, we disguise fields asunits”

holy fuckingshit!!!

the British hadused a bunch of fake tanks and like, boxes of provisions stacked upin tank shape and then covered with a tarp in 1942 during OperationBertram and it worked really well, but they didn’t have a specialunit devoted to just clowning on the Germans like that.

so the US militarydecides they do want a designated clowning unit and goes out andrecruits a bunch of fucking nerds from all the art schools and makesthem into the 23rd Headquarters Special Troops aka THEGHOST ARMY, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU USE ANY OTHER NAME LIKE SERIOUSLY

the ghost army’sjob was basically to go in, sidle up to a real unit, and thenbasically set up a fake version of that unit while the actual unitsneaked away to go dunk on Nazis where the Nazis weren’t expectingthem

okay time to getinto the really cool part of this story, which is HOW the ghost armyfaked being a real unit:

step 1: INFLATABLETANKS AND AIRCRAFT OH MY GOD

that’s a big ol balloon!!!

the ghost army hada stockpile of inflatable tanks, aircraft, artillery, cars, whatever,that they would set up and then poorly cover with camouflagenetting so from the air it looked like someone had just done areal shit job of hiding actual materiel. They even had dummy soldiersthat they would set up to make the scene look populated, since theghost army itself was about 1,000 dudes regularly imitating units of30,000 men

what’s really coolis that visual deception was more than just the inflatable stuffitself. If the ghost army plopped down a balloon tank, they then alsohad to go out with shovels and rakes and shit to make a fake trackthat a real tank would have left, because it turns out tanks arereally hard on your landscaping

step 2: “spoofradio”

the last couple ofdays before the real unit moved out, the radio operators of the ghostarmy would move in. see, radio transmissions were done in Morse code,and it turns out every radio operator has a slightly different “fist”when typing Morse. A “fist” is basically typing style- somepeople would take longer to type out certain letters or would havepauses between groups or anything like. Anybody listening to theradio transmissions who was skilled enough could tell different radiooperators apart from just their fist

anyway the ghostarmy operators would move in and basically listen to all the realunit’s radio transmissions until they had learned the real operators’fists. Then they would take over radio traffic, imitating that fistso it seemed like the real operator had never left. I forgot to makethis section funny because I was too caught up in how rad it is SORRY

step 3: making alot of noise

the ghost army hadspecial trucks fitted with huge fuck off speakers and a whole libraryof stock sound effects. Once the real unit left and the fake unitinflated, the sound trucks would come in, select a combination ofsound effects that matched the unit they were impersonating, and thenplayed everyone in the 15 mile radius of the speakers their fire mixtape

step 4: fuckinpartying!!!

see the thing aboutimpersonating your own units is that other allied units would knowabout it and might talk about it where enemy collaborators couldhear. So the ghost army had to fool the Germans but they also had tofool their own army. Every time they impersonated a new unit,the ghost soldiers would paint that unit’s insignia on all the fakemateriel, make fake signs with the unit’s name and colors, and sewthe unit’s patches on their own uniforms

once they weredressed up as soldiers from the impersonated unit, the ghost armydudes would go into town and mingle with other soldiers from actualfighting units nearby and hang out in bars while loudly saying thingslike “YES HELLO I AM DEFINITELY A REAL SOLDIER FROM THE WHATEVERDIVISION, ABSOLUTELY FOR REAL STATIONED ON THAT HILL OVER THERE”

so anyway thisbunch of weedy American art nerds staged 20+ battlefield deceptionsbetween 1944 and the end of the war, sometimes fooling that Germansso successfully that they actually got shelled

I'mma leave youwith this quote from the book “The Ghost Army of World War II” byRick Beyer and Elizabeth Sayles, because it’s a quote from an actualmember of the Ghost Army and that alone makes it funnier thananything I could ever write:

On anotheroccasion, two Frenchmen on bicycles somehow got through the securityperimeter. Shilstone managed to halt them, but not before they hadseen more than they should. “What they thought they saw was fourGIs picking up a forty-ton Sherman tank and turning it around. Theylooked at me, and they were looking for answers, and I finally said‘The Americans are very strong.‘”
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The Ghost Army of WWII is a great book. There is also a documentary called The Ghost Army that may still be on Netflix. These guys were awesome. 

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jaxonkreide

you know there is this one great site to really distract yourself from everything…

I’M A SUPER ULTRA DIFFICULT BOSS THAT IS KINDA CREATIVE, BUT LACKING IN EVERYTHING ELSE

Yep, I can totally confirm that mackerel is super memorable AND HER DESIGN IS GREAT TOO

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eevee164

I may be hard to beat and look like shit, but at least I’m a Pizza Dragon and everyone loves me.

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humming-fly

So apparently I’m the genocide run boss

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

ooh

WHY IS THIS ACCURATE?! ALSO WHAT?!

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azenzeph

Um

Ira, the Goddess of Thunder, has lots of funny dialogue throughout the fight. https://en.shindanmaker.com/chart/671644-4154e9666564683333df3e9b31c20379ab88222c https://en.shindanmaker.com/671644 Okay do I can,t copy the stats on my phone, But @sushinfood

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sushinfood

Of course.

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clatterbane

Now mobile is choking trying to upload any post with embedded images that I have added. But:

Tsula, the Wielder of Failure, was the player’s close friend… but not anymore. https://en.shindanmaker.com/chart/671644-b391ae03c1e34560041ded27e791b5b77449024e https://en.shindanmaker.com/671644

Isabel, the Princess of Hell, was popular enough to get their own spinoff game.

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shitifindon

ok i wasn’t going to post mine but this is literally perfect in every respect

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aestrix

I am surprisingly pleased with my boss fight results!

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on the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me five golden rings

on the 6th day of Christmas I realized my true love is Sauron and he does not share power, I think these birds he gave me are spying on me, and he chopped down my pear tree after like the third day??

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shitifindon

… oh fuck, you guys arda soulmates AU

!!!

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